First Day at School - I got my pencilcase

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Two days of walking around with fully-grown American and English made me forget that I am in fact a giantess. Half past eight in the morning, standing at the back of rows and rows of children and teachers brought the reality back. I am teaching first grade, six and seven year olds, who could easily pass for three or four, bundled up in so many layers of clothes that their arms stick out at right angles to their bodies. The teachers all look about sixteen. I was introduced to all the first grade teachers, then all the English teachers, about fifteen in total. Nope, I can’t remember their names, apart from two who had chosen English names for themselves as well, Nancy and Mary. If they wear different clothes tomorrow, I’m stuffed.

The first lesson was a Chinese lesson, where the kids memorised a poem. I perched on the seat of the smallest chair in the world, and the little boy next to me put his arm around me, and pushed his book closer so I could share, giving me a shy little grin. He was gorgeous, I wanted to keep him. I thumbed through my dictionary frantically, trying to work out what each word was, and didn’t do too bad a job, I was chanting away with the children by the end of the forty minutes. I was then introduced to the class, and they were told they could talk to me, ask me questions, and play with me at any time. They all said hallo as they passed by, one little boy said that I was very beautiful, like the lilies in the valley (can I keep that one too?), and I was asked how old I was about twenty times. Their English is pretty good; there are 6 classes of first grade altogether, 2 of which have been doing English since kindergarten, called the Immersion classes. Their English far surpasses my Chinese. I then observed a Maths class, when I learned how to count to 100. I’m not sure what benefit this is to them, but it’s doing wonders for me! English was the last lesson before lunch, I was asked to watch the teacher and tell her where she was going wrong. Seems a bit presumptuous to me, but they like criticism. The more brutal the better, there’s no need for the confidence-boosting attitude we have, couching assessment with appreciation. The children are so noisy, there was a huge push a few years back to become at ease with the Western way, so contribute to classes, that shyness and nervousness will get you nowhere. This has resulted in the classes being packed to the beams with 48 confident, forceful miniature people, not one seemed hesitant about speaking in class, offering answers even if they were wrong. It still seems very much a ‘learning by rote’ system, but everyone contributed. Even me, during English they were revising shapes and colours with paper cutouts, the teacher asking questions. The students asked the questions at the end of class, one boy held up a star and asked me what shape it was. As I answered correctly, I got to keep the shape. Before lunch, there was a period of about five minutes when they played music over the tannoy, and the children all did eye exercises to relax the muscles after three hours of looking at books and the board. This results in far less children and adults having to wear glasses, it’s such an easy thing to do, but so effective.

I got mobbed at break-time, I had about ten munchkins attached to me at any one time, whilst trying to play skipping with some of the girls. Obviously, I was only swinging the rope, as I haven’t skipped for about 20 years, and my shoes don’t work in that way anymore. A bunch of fifth graders were fascinated with Christmas at home, and asked me all about it, then got me to write my name on their English books. I am going to have to develop a time-saving autograph.

I got a lift home with one of the teachers, who has as much English as I do Chinese, so he amused himself by teaching me how to say North and South Gate in Chinese, and the names of the roads we travelled on. He thought that was great, especially when I made the leap from North Gate to East Gate, and got it right! I arrived in at 12.45, exhausted from being immersed in a language and school system I was trying so hard to understand. Joe and Alex had a great time at their school too, they were asked five minutes after they arrived what their favourite song was, then spent the morning teaching the class Jingle Bells, and fielding questions like ‘Why are you so tall?’

After lunch, Andrew went to work in a youth hostel, he had spent the morning getting lost with Bill around the Muslim Quarter, and seemed to be relishing the idea of being by himself for a few hours. Bill and Richard went to the Shaanxi Museum, to help the guides, and rewrite some of the signs. Richard is English, we probably understand each other the best, it’s funny to have a common language with so many people, and yet have such differences. Bill is…an experience. He has been everywhere, done everything, and likes talking about it. He’s fixated on embarrassing Andrew, who’s only 18 and therefore Bill thinks he’s a prime candidate. They told us about their afternoon over dinner, apparently Bill took it upon himself to indoctrinate four little Chinese female tour guides about American slang, as one of the girl’s names was Cherry. She has since changed it to Helen. There was an informative discussion about eunuchs, poor Richard just looked bemused, and somewhat frazzled. We discussed the evils that slang has brought to society, pretty much constantly. And the evils of Jerry Springer and those talk shows. As I was asked my opinion about the rotting pile that is Sex in the City and Desperate Housewives, I answered that I don’t watch them particularly, as it isn’t compulsory, no matter how degenerate they are. Bill said he likes watching them, as it keeps him in touch at how much the world has changed for the worst, eighty years ago you’d never hear swearing on the television. I think it’s because they didn’t have television eight years ago, but at this stage I went to check my email.

I have such sore shoulders from hunching all day.

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