Haggling, Cacti and Sellotape

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Haggling, much like card tricks, making cakes and tying knots in balloons, has always been one of those arts - for arts they are - that I have never been able to master. I have tried and tried in various markets at home and abroad but I could never do it, and I was always incredibly jealous of anyone I saw doing it well. I always consoled myself with the fact that my shortcomings in this field are because I'm not just not a business person and that my lack of willingness to be a hard bargainer about money issues was good in other ways. Of course, this is rubbish, and the reality of it was that anytime I went near a market in Costa Rica, or anywhere else for that matter, there was always a very real feel of the Family Guy episode where Peter buys Volcano insurance, about any conversation I had there.

In China, haggling is something of a way of life and it seems that everything can be haggled for unless it has a clearly displayed price, or you're in chain store or supermarket. Aside from these, in terms of shops and stalls, you sort of have to do it (not in a Life Of Brian, "he won't haggle" sense, just because you'll get ripped off if you don't.) Even being aware of this just wasn't enough to make me willing to do it though. Here in Xiangyang I have avoided doing it at all costs, to the point where one day, when I wanted to buy a cactus, I took to walking very slowly past various flower stalls and shops, not checking out the quality of the merchandise - as any self-respecting cactus fan should - but to see if there was a visible price tag which would mean I wouldn't have to engage in what I considered to be one of the most abhorrent forms of public dick-swinging there is.

I say 'considered' because while in the Muslim Quarter market in Xi'an my strongly held views did a full about-turn to the point where I began to seek out haggling opportunities that weren't really there.

I am quite big on these drastic, unapologetic 180 degree shifts in opinion - of the ilk of we're not at war with Eurasia, we've always been at war with Eastasia. The last one that comes to mind was joining facebook last year but previously I've done exactly the same thing in regards to mobile phones, shorts and liquorice. These shifts are often brought about by something seemingly innocuous convincing me to change my mind and go back on all my long held principles and on this occasion it was a seller in the market trying to sell me a Chinese football shirt for 450 yuan (£45). I laughed out loud when she said this, not in any kind of attempt to bargain with her, it was just genuine shock. The price was then quickly reduced to 250 yuan (£25) because we could speak (a tiny amount of) Chinese, at which point, one of our group took over, eventually getting it for 65 yuan (probably still too much) and opening my eyes to the possibility of the fun that could be had haggling. I think the reason I enjoyed it, although I was very much a by-stander for this one, was because whenever my friend said a price, the seller reacted with horror or annoyance but then little by little reduced her own price as he kept his more or less the same. This act continued until the money had changed hands when it was all friendly again to the point where when we left, she called me back and gave me the shorts for free - a sure indication that we still paid too much but to get a football kit which has already lasted several wears for £6.50 is good enough for me.

The fun for me was in the conversation really. I have no interest in being like a twat of a businessman, grinding out the best possible deal, but as long as it seems reasonable and everyone leaves with a smile on their face then I'm very happy with it.

In the end I managed to buy a couple more football shirts for similar prices, a rice paper based painting of the Yellow River (that the man I bought it from told me he painted himself at first) and a pair of chopsticks, all for about 10% of the starting price. As I said though, the money isn't the issue, it was the bargaining, acting and conversations that we enjoyed. For example, the Yellow River painting guy. Our conversation lasted about fifteen minutes, during which time I pretended to walk out twice when he forgot my name, he repeatedly told me "you're funny" because the price I was offering was so low and he kept introducing me as his new English friend to anyone who'd listen. When we were working out a price he, apropos of nothing, started speaking Spanish so we finished our conversation like that (I even ended up paying 30 yuan rather than 25 because I was so happy/shocked to be able to practice speaking with someone) and both left in a good mood. Me because I'd enjoyed myself, proved to friends here that I wasn't lying about being able to speak another language and got the price down from 250 yuan to 30. And him, because he'd sold something that when I took it out of the box back in the hostel I discovered was held together with old looking pieces of sellotape.

They weren't all as successful as that though. When trying to buy a box of Terracotta Warriors (replicas, I think) a particularly irate lady chased me out of her shop because I wouldn't pay what she was asking, until her husband chased after us - like some bizarre Chinese Benny Hill sketch - and I managed to buy them.

A lot of the enjoyment is to do with the personality of the person selling and also the ability of one of you to speak the others language, and as long as you're not messing them around for the sake of it or trying to screw them over then it's good fun and you can walk away with a smile, a sense of achievement and the knowledge that it's almost as useful a skill as being able to tie knots in balloons.

Pura Vida.

Dave

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