Randomly Xianfan

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Why is Leeza in Hubei province tonight, you ask?

I do not want to be here. But I had literally no say in the matter.

As I went into school yesterday evening for my nightly Chinese lesson, I received a phonecall from my boss. "Hello, how are you," I said, and we spent 90 or so seconds exchanging our inane pleasantries.

"Yes, well we've got your various residential issues sorted out. You need to go to a city in Hubei province to get this processed. It's in the south of China and it's very nice. By the way, you're going tonight; the train leaves at 11. Management has your tickets. Goodbye." Self: "Qui-i-i-i-id???" This is roughly equivalent to telling someone in Cincinnati they are expected to be in Huston, Texas by next morning and will be shipped there in two hours. It was not how I wanted to spend my Wednesday off.

There is a long story with this whole thing which I don't need to get into at present moment because I have not yet managed to back date my blog to the first day of school. This needs its own entry; suffice to say for the moment that my passport somehow wound up in Xiangfan where we retrieved it this afternoon.

Back to the phonecall. I was stuck standing there in the middle of my Chinese lesson with the realization that I was not going to be going home tonight. I wasn't very happy. To make matters worse, I was supposed to tutor a new student for the first time immediately after my lesson. As soon as I walked in the door, the cold sore I have been nursing for weeks suddenly ruptured of its own accord and started bleeding down my face. It took several minutes of me pressing a kleenex to my mouth and being unable to conduct the lesson in order to get it under control. It was most embarrassing.

I probably need to explain about cold sores. They usually strike when something is messed up with your immune system. I was told China would mess with my immune system, and I was especially warned that I am guaranteed to be felled by a severe respiratory issue sometime within my first three months. I'm still unhappily waiting for that time, but have had a series of painful sores on the side of my mouth for the last two weeks. What's going on with my body? I'm afraid to ask.

I hoped my trip to Xiangfan would get me out of the polluted northeast--and I did in fact see the sun today. They put me and one Chinese teacher on a train last night and we made the 15-hour trip to Xiangfan, Hubei. I spent the afternoon running around a large bureaucratic building for some reason that didn't have a lot to do with me, but involved my passport and my future life in China. It mostly reminded me of the millions of boring errands my mom would take me on when I was about 5 years old: I never knew what was going on, I didn't want to be there, and I was vaguely aware that I needed to be there because they couldn't leave me anywhere else. My guide and my guide's guide spoke Chinese the whole time. I followed them around. I did whatever they told me to do. I did not ask any questions.

Eventually, it was over. We ate dinner, and I got a stomachache. I feel kind of lousy right now. I don't know for sure, but I have a pretty good idea that it's coming from this food I ate 48 hours ago, which seems to have been beef and some sort of green thing, all marinated in napalm. I took one bite and was literally in pain for the next 15 minutes. I kid you not. It was amazing, and it ended my eating experience right then and there. I did not die, however. No, I am still alive and in Xiangfan.

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