Bangkok to Phnom Penh

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This update is for today - Saturday 26th as I thought it was necessary to upload this extraordinary story. But I will be blogging about Thursday and Friday as well after this. Don't worry.

Emma and I couldn't believe our luck. Jumping from travel agent to travel agent near our unbelievable hostel "D and D Inn" on Khao San Road, Bangkok, we finally found the cheapest deal for a coach journey that would take us to Phnom Penh. Only 700 Baht each (£14). Superb. Moreover, we managed to book the journey with our favourite travel agent - "Coco" - who previously booked us to do the floating markets.

We had an early start this morning (Saturday) and woke up at half 6 after another 5hr sleep - just because we are legends and it's cool to stay up late. We finished packing and ran across the road to get our free breakfast - Facon and eggs. Yep, I did spell that correctly. It is fake bacon. I literally couldn't tell you if it was from a pig, a cat, a dog or any other animal, yet alone being meat at all. Weird. We quickly saw off some pineapple (uni banter) and watermelon as well and we were all set and ready.

After waiting around for half an hour (not bad), the small but air conditioned minibus finally arrived that was going to take us to the border - the fact that it was air conditioned is all that matters in these parts. We hopped on and we were on our way before we knew it. Not a bad start at all.

We arrived at the border at about 1 o'clock in the afternoon and had another cheeky chicken fried rice each whilst the tour guides (also known as smugglers... Not actually.) were preparing visas for us to enter Cambodia for an expected fee of £24. We hopped back on the minibus and were dropped off at the world's hottest border control. I was genuinely shocked at how humid a room could be.. But anyway, within about another half an hour we had been smuggled into Cambodia. Both of us couldn't wait to get to the next hostel and jump into the swimming pool as soon as possible - I already had a swimming pool in my shorts and it didn't make the journey any more enjoyable.

We hopped on another bus that looked like it had been through 18 civil wars and it took us round the corner. That was it. We literally waited 10 minutes for a bus that took us round the corner. Cambodia ladies and gentlemen. We hopped off (3rd time 'hopping off' today) again and we were told to wait in a random shack/house/small business for our bus that would take us from the border to Phnom Penn (the capital). We waited with about 7 Cambodian men all gathered around a small plastic table, playing dominos. It was surreal! They were genuinely gambling against each other playing dominos and after being told by Nana that people do in fact gamble with dominoes, you have to see it to believe it. At the same time, the biggest flash-monsoon storm I have ever personally seen occurred and after about 30 seconds of the rain starting, we were having to move our bags further inside. Hilarious. The bus arrived (our 4th of the day) and we "hopped on" again. It's turning into a bloody story about buses for goodness sake... So back to the entertainment of Cambodia.

The Hobbit 2 was being played on the bus which was a treat in itself, but after another 3 hours of monotonous travelling the bus stopped at another random - didn't have the slightest idea - stop and said we have ten minutes to go to the toilet and eat if we wanted. Well, I'd be lying if I said we didn't want to do both those things, but after taking a look at the world's grimiest toilets that ruled out the first. The food was a bit of a turn off as well and after watching people DISGUSTINGLY finish about 3 hard boiled live-eggs (EGGS WITH A HALF FORMED EMBRYO IN THEM!!!!), a supposed delicacy in Cambodia, we seemed to lose our appetite. Such a shame after being so hungry.

Hopping on the bus for a 5th time(!) we drove for only about half an hour before we were told in another random shanty town to change buses. I know. It is insane and we had realised by now why this awful my French) journey was only £14. I am currently writing this on our 6th bus journey of the day at 8pm, after just being told we will arrive at 2am! And poor Emsy put her luggage downstairs so we are just praying that it is still there!

Stomachs are rumbling with hunger and bladders are rupturing with desperation of loo-breaks but we're gunna hold on guys! We're gonna do it!

All in all, the journey has still somehow been hilarious probs because I'm with my lovely girlfriend (cringe) - I'd 100% be in tears by now if I was on my own and on the phone to Mum constantly, if not in a private taxi, on my way to the airport to come home. Haha! Only joking!

I honestly wouldn't have changed anything we have done even though it has been such a long journey... Apart from getting the bus. Book a flight if you are ever going to do this journey, it is definitely worth spending the extra £30 and working 1 more shift at work.

I finished writing all that was said before at 9ish and felt that it was necessary for me to write again as things took a turn for the better. We stopped off for about the 9th time and emma persuaded me to poo in what was a genuine hole in the floor with a toilet seat stuck on it (photos will be uploaded in due time if we ever get good signal). Luckily it was a one wiper... Would have been in a bit of a pickle if it wasn't. Thank The Lord (literally). After pooping, we decided that our bellies had had enough and got some food. Most people were having soup, so naturally, being the westerners that we are, we bought a packet of Pringles for dinner.

After getting back on the bus, both other passengers and us respectively thought that it was time to break the silence and integrate and we actually got taught some Cambodian phrases by a legend called Hong Soyi, of which I have forgotten most if not all of them. And managed to teach them some of ours. But the most important included: thank you - "argon" and water "tuksuk" - emma has a video of the antics as well which will be shown when back and which will inevitably be hilarious. As per.

Hopefully I will actually post this piece of brilliant writing, because that means we have actually made it to the hostel somehow and have internet.

Love you all.

Love Tobes (the author) and Emma (the forever smiling Bromley adventurer)

Xxxxxxx

P.S. We arrived - it's 3am. Obscene events.

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