Angkor Temples

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‘Tis a splendid honour to be writing another blog entry to my fellow citizens of our great land (U.K.). I do hope this reaches you and your footmen in good times. For those who have experienced weather from icy parts, I wish a swift recovery for your damaged ankles and that any temporary disability has not made you too narky.



Since my last prose we (Rich and Rob) have had the most marvellous experience in Siem Reap (Kingdom of Cambodia)- to the King of Cambodia I applaud your wonderful country and folk. We adopted (in fact hired) a personal chauffeur (in fact Tuk-Tuk driver) for 2 days. Our first day involved the tour of the splendid temples of Angkor. What a marvellous day of many sights and a joy to be a visitor. After many stops for templing we ended the day with an elephant ride of some considerable size which I am assured could fight of an attack from a crazed wild boar. Our elephant driver, using an instrument made from leaves, hummed many of Cambodia tune including Jingle Bells- I jest not. The Angkor temples are so marvellous I intend to write to the Wonders of the World Association asking for the said Temples to become a new wonder, either as the 8^th or possibly replacing the Pyramids on the basis of continued homophobia- (spit and spit again).



Our second day involved a visit to the largest waters in Asia, taking a boat trip, seeing crocodile and taking a native long boat (and native) through a flooded forest. In the fore-mentioned location we sailed by a fishing net and our driver and guide (aka cockney Cambodian spiff) removed a large cat-fish for us to watch its’ slow and untimely ending from the great Kingdom. Alas the fish did not like my sandals and using its’ last energy flung itself into the air (aiming for sandal) and hit my foot with its’ sharp fin. What next I hear you all scream..blood? yes! Fever…no! Sickness…no! The fact I am writing this blog is testimony to my lasting endurance for this life (and a small prick). You see I have empathy for all you with swollen ankles (reference line 3).



The highlight of the day was watching Rob, under the influence of thinking he was being scammed, turn into a wild crazy boar, no parting with more money. He attacked the driver like he was chewing the gracious historical oak tree. He was known as Camfy all day.



Siem Reap is a strange place, surrounded by waterways and countryside and centered with a triangle of western public houses, coach houses and eateries. I must say- 3 cheers to the 50c beers! Also there is a night market circa Carry On Abroad and yes I am confident L’Amour could be purchased from many of scamming, imaginative proprietor.



Finally I write this blog (off-line) onboard the Mekong Express bus to Phomn Penh. We are entertained on a regular basis by our hostess who stands to attention and gives a 5 minute history in her native tongue, followed by a swift English translation. Imagine the scene, …5 minutes of yin and yan, yap and ying followed by (quote) (guestering out of the window)..a bridge. Alas how I wish I could speak Manadarin Orange.



In the words of Lord Fentinhulme…so far so good! And Stuart Hall..it’s a knockout!

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