A Day in the Life of a Cambodian Orphan Fund Volunteer. Part 2

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Hello,

The road to the orphanage is a straight line as you turn left from the driveway of our guesthouse. There's a crossroads somewhere along here that can be pretty scary...until you recognise that European road crossing laws don't apply here. For anyone who plans to visit Cambodia (or SE Asia - I imagine the same rules apply) I offer the following advice:

- Take a rough glance to left and right, but not too much. If you make eye contact the moto drivers WILL expect you to move out of the way.
- If you find that there is no imminent threats to your life, take a confident stride towards the centre of the road...
- Ignoring the fear inherent in all rational beings, proceed to walk calmly and confidently towards the other side of the road.
- The main rule is to make your route obvious to oncoming traffic. If you hesitate, the moto driver will just have to guess... you don't want this.
- Try to avoid being caught up in cattle-herds. They have large horns and are easily spooked - you will be impaled.
- If there are vampire-dogs in the road, try to use the oncoming traffic as a shield.
- When choosing the side of the dirt-track to walk on... bear in mind that dangerous construction works are generally less terrifying then dogs that are also vampires.
- Avoid wet ground. If you think that your flip-flops are flicking water up the backs of your legs, you are probably being a little too optimistic. Look up "Vampire Dogs" and "Urine" in the dictionary for further reference.
- If you are skilled in levitation, this will be of great benefit when navigating the endless network of plastic bags and sharp rocks that cover the ground like really nasty blanket. My feet have never been filthier... good fun though!

After following all the above rules with saintly devotion, we arrive at the open sewer outside the orphange. It looks like a stream but smells like an ass. Occasionally it is necessary to fight back the nausea if the breeze picks up. I find it becomes easier if you pretend the acrid stench ISN'T a direct result of actually breathing in particles of raw fecal matter. There are definitely creatures living in the sewer, and not small ones. Ripples in the water suggest a creature of reasonable size dwells down there, apparently thriving in the environment. Whatever it is, I can confirm that it's diet consists of brown fish, small lizards and mosquito children.

We walk over a small bridge to get through the tall gates of the orphanage. There are pillars at either side that display concreted-in shards of broken glass. Usually we're able to walk straight across the gravel to the bench where the other volunteers will be sitting, but occasionally we are swarmed by hyperactive kids. I think they've realised that we're here for awhile now so they're not so keen to get the most out of their climbing whilst we're still around - like last week. Crocadah still runs up and shouts... I think... "Eel! Eel!" which sounds almost identical to The Hitcher off The Mighty Boosh. I'm fairly sure "Eel" (or the actual word he's saying) means "back" in Khmer. He still hasn't recognised that he's at least twice the size of most the kids...and also has hideous, hideous green danglers leeching from his nose at the minute. I've dodged that bullet up to now. I don't think Rich has been quite so lucky.

As we arrive, our first class starts. We take the B class in the morning and then another B class in the afternoon. At the moment we're teaching them basic sentences: I am a boy-girl...in our class we ask the kids to choose one or the other, but I recognise that for a few large handed ladies in town that this isn't quite as straight forward as I'm making out. Seriously though, it's usually quite rewarding teaching the kids. They want to learn and many of them are incredibly bright... we sometimes forget that English is their second language.

The worst part about teaching at the orphanage is the mosquito's... each time I hear: "Tcha Chri!" (Teacher Chris) and then "Pencil?" my heart sinks. Half-heartedly, I nod my head and try to build up the courage to open the bug-worlds version of pandoras box. I turn round and undo the hatch on the blue, metal box and desperately reach in for the pencil jar. As I do, a swarm of around 50 mosquitos spiral out and spiral around my ankles and feet. It's difficult to avoid looking like a flailing madman trying to retrieve the pencil and deliver it to the child...but the kids come first and that...and I don't resent them for it...

At the end of the lesson we say "goodbye children" and all the kids repeat "gooooodbyyyee chilldren" in a weird hypnotic fashion. We're trying to get them to say "goodbye teacher" (they say hello teacher...why not goodbye!?) but it's pretty much the exact same situation as Jingle Pig.

After lesson we sometimes help out with the class after ours, but more often then not we begin planning for our second lesson or just try and cool down. The classrooms are boiling because they have the sun on them all day and there is less and less of a breeze as each day goes by. The orphanage has turned into a hellish nightmare since an annoyingly happy Canadian man decided to buy all the kids toy flutes and cure poverty with music. It's alright though, they didn't need books...or pencils...or useful learning materials AND they'll all definitely learn to play the flute...and not blow obscene pitches into peoples ears. Thanks for that. I'll be very surprised if they last till the end of next week.

We used to head into town for lunch with whoever fancied going. Now it's getting ridiculously hot, the long walk down the straight road is occasionally like walking through a desert with dogs and moto's everywhere...so sometimes we just cut our losses and head into our guesthouse which we pass on the way. Cold water is God here, and I would kill any man to get to it after that walk... fortunately only 3 men died before I discovered that there was a fridge here. I'm pretty sure it's going to stop working soon because there’s a guy who sits downstairs in reception 24 hours a day gorging on electricity. Apparently he’s found an internet site so good it’s actually more realistic to look on the computer then step outside and experience Cambodia with his own eyes.

We sometimes go in the pool at lunch and get involved with some crabbing. We borrowed the football from the orphanage on Johnny’s last day and invented some pool football. This rapidly became an international sport as France, Italy, Bermuda and North England competed. It’s no Crab Off, but it’s getting there.

We head back to class for 2 and help out with the first afternoon class before teaching our own. We’ve started testing on Friday to see how much the kids know and how much they’re just parroting what we say… it’s pretty hard to tell really.

We’ve started to teach Savong camera lessons as of last week, so after the afternoon class finishes we head up to the balcony and see how he’s getting on with the projects we set him. I’ll hopefully be able to upload some of his pictures soon. It’s a real shame that internet access isn’t cheaper here because otherwise I’d have shown him how to set up a site for to upload his pictures/keep a journal etc. It’s something I’m going to look into anyway.

At 5ish the day comes to a close, and although we’ve not taught that many hours the heat and being climbed on all day takes its toll. We’re usually pretty tired when we roll in and just sprawl for awhile whilst we try and recuperate. We’ve usually made some plans with someone at the orphanage for the evening and tend to meet people on the food stalls in town. These are small stalls run by local families and cook pretty basic meals for $1. The food here is as good as anywhere else and is much cheaper. We tend to stick to the same family.

A few beers and a game of pool later and we’re done. We avoid the night-dogs, I struggle to sleep with the boiling hot room and wake up a few hours later for another crazy day!

Any time in-between these events is taken up here at the Internet Café.

I’m going to update the pictures on the last few entries tomorrow if I have time.

Thanks for taking the time to read this,

Send me a message and let me know how life is where you are.

Chris.

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