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Published: April 8th 2015
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It was a trip that my cruel bosses didn't make me aware of untill the last three days,as such i didn't make enough home work about the country-Uganda where i had been scheduled to go on a short assignment.To be honest i couldn't even locate the country on the map.All i knew was that the country was in Africa.
The moment i landed at entebbe airport,evidence that indeed i had landed in Africa was thrown into my eyes-the buildings were old and most dilapidated.It was no where close to the Heathrow i was used to.After some hustle going through the slow checks i was inside the hotel van and on my way to Kampala-the capital city of Uganda.
Good Lord?
Kampala is a thing that should have never been refferred to as a city in the first place.In the city centre(the so called city centre) rotting garbage attracted vultures and flamingos in their hundreds to feed,next to where women were selling fruits.The flies oscillating between the garbage and the fruits were the last thing on the women's minds.The roads were full of potholes the size that took a sturdy 4WD vehicle to manouvre.Hawkers laden with all types of merchandise plied their trade along road junctions where traffic was slow.We were still stuck in traffic some where when an oldman came along the car window on my side.His teeth were black like charcoal and i wondered why.He was carrying a handwooven basket,in it were bundles of a tuber.
"Mzungu(white man) if you chew this thirty minutes before the "game" you will "play" for ninety minutes and more",the man went about explaining his product in broken english as he extended one bundle towards me.Thats when i learnt that the tuber was a natural local version of viagra.I wanted to try it out but i had a female colleague with me in the car.I feared she would doubt my performance in bed.
It was a refreshing resurrection from chaos when we finally arrived at the Hilton hotel,a five star that had whatever it took to compete favourably with any other five star any where in the world.Two smiling female beuties at the reception worked to make me feel at home.Fast through some small paper work and i was inside my double room on the tenth floor.Worn down by the flight,i fell into a sofa on my balcony and got to my usual smoking.
The next day,i was taking a walk in the neat flower gardens when i noticed a club hidden away in one corner.On a hot day it was,i decided i would check it out later to cool off with a beer or two.At 10pm,i was guest at the club.Surprisingly the parking infront of the club was filled with the latest models from Audi,Benz,BMW,etc-ones i didn't expect to find in chaotic kampala.I even noticed a Rolls Royce.At the entrance,i was checked by mean looking bouncers(security is tight in Uganda as the country is at war with Al-shaabab in Somalia).The bar interrior was as swanky as the cars in the parking outside.The dancing floor was full of Ugandans pulling off all sorts of crazy dance moves.I took a seat some distance away from the dancing floor and ordered for a guiness as i studied the situation.
At some point i thought i was tired of being a mere spectator,i joined the dancing floor to try out my amateur moves.I had not danced for long when suddenly three beautiful young ladies appeared out of no where and started dancing erotically next to me.I dont know what attracted them,perhaps it was my colour(we were a few whites in the club).From the way they shook their butts,they were experienced dancers.Our dancing went on and the more it did,the more the three came closer to me,the more erotic their dancing became and the more dancing styles they invented.One style that i will never forget is one which involved the three at once rubbing their butts against me(bend over style)-one from my front,one at my back and the other on the side.Its a style that got my little sausage between the legs panting like a hunting dog.
After dancing for about an hour non-stop,i retreated from the dancing floor to have a break.As i sat on the stool,the absence of the sensation of my wallet rubbing against my right ass as i was used to it was the first tip off that some thing was wrong.Indeed,when i checked myself further-my wallet was missing,my phone was missing and the watch i had been wearing was also missing.
Dont ask me who the culprits were?
I immediately rushed back to the dance floor,i searched every corner to trace the three ladies.I even involved one bouncer to help me in the search,but all our effort yielded nothing.The ladies had already vanished.
If you go clubbing in Kampala....mind your wallet..
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