Greetings from the land of Luke Skywalker!

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the Jedi Mindtricks of: Sober-One Kenobi

So, I Believe I left off with us stranded helplessly in the Sahara, sick with infections and horny camels... Oh wait-- Did I not mention that last little fun fact? Well, before I get started, that has to be addressed. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is breeding season for Tunisian camels this winter. That means the womenfolk of the camel-kind are either pregnant or craftily avoiding getting knocked up, but that is not easy feat. I've watched Animal Planet with boarder-line obsession, and I have never once seen what male camels do to attract a mate... and dear God, please, let this have been my only run-in with those desperate devils. YouTube it or something, because the only way I can describe it is rabid-looking, foaming tongue-like THINGS blow out their mouths and make the absolute foulest noise that does the exact opposite of getting me in the mood. That didn't stop a certain few camels from trying to put the moves on a few of us like the creepers they are. It's okay, even though one had a particular liking for Marion, it didn't get her. (Although it did manage to foam on her a bit. 'shudder')

JAN 23:

Well, who knew you could get frostbite in the desert? (Thanks to Man vs Wild, I actually did!) After thawing the next morning, climbing the camp water tower to get the best view possible, and running back onto our bus, we were off! We stopped in the marketplace in the oasis town of Douz, where I made an incredible find: Buddhism in Tunisia! No joke. I wound through the shops into a hidden little thing packed with all kinds of jewelry. Now, it's not common to see a cross or star of David in Tunisia, but it is possible-- Muslims generally have great respect for their other two siblings through God. But Buddhism doesn't fare so lightly-- we're kind of going to hell for being heathens. This is no knock on Islam whatsoever, it's just what it says. So you can understand in a country where after death, I'm going to be strung over eternal flames by my eyelids (jokingly according to my host-sisters, although that's for being a seducer, not a heathen), I was shocked to see a hand-carved vajra on a necklace. I touched it, and the owner, my new friend Mahmoud, smiled and said "A sign of power from the East... you know this?" I just smiled and bought it. Before I left, since I stayed to talk for awhile, I noticed a long string around his neck he was playing with, carved with a matching piece. A Buddhist Muslim-- who knew?

After, we went straight to our hotel town of Matmata. We stopped in a traditional Berber home just outside of town, actually built into the side of a mountain. After we settled into our hotel, a few of us found a Berber 'museum' of tradition, built straight down into the ground. Khalil took our group to two hotels, owned by the same man, to decide which WE wanted to stay in. One was an average 3-star hotel, modern-looking, with nothing special about it. But the OTHER one-- hoo-boy, it was Luke Skywalker's house! No joke, kids, I'm talkin' bona-fide, in-the-movie, mud walls built down into the sand, cave-rooms and all. Now, my guess is that it probably had a few frames actually in the film, but still, it was built exactly like you have it in your head. We took a vote, and who'd-a guessed it: the majority voted for the lame 21st century hotel. The much cooler minority got so upset that Khalil said we could stay in two different hotels, if it meant that much to us. It did. We all showered at the nicer hotel, and then moved our stuff to the badass one. Marion and her husband Lee, Megan and Alex, Bess and Emily, Norm and Rachel, and yours truly geeked out and ran down the road to explore.

That night we all met back up in the other hotel to watch the next football match Tunisia played in the African cup on what I think might have been one of the only television sets in Matmata. It was a good game, and while we didn't win, we did get two more points for the cup. Dinner was alright, and I actually felt okay enough to eat a little of the great salad they made for me. I pretty much stuck to my Coca-cola and medication, though. It might be beautiful, but Matmata has a dead nightlife, so we had to make our own fun. We defined the difference between elhumdulAllah and inshaAllah, debated weather or not the Chixie Dicks play rock or country, and single-handedly soaked up every drop of fun to be found in the hotel. For being stranded in the desert, it was a pretty successful night.

And yes, "our hotel rooms are so warm-- they don't have heat!" Despite having no heat, our little cave WAS amazingly warm, thankyouverymuch. We locked the door, climbed into bed, and talked about Star Wars for hours. We were the jedi of Tunisia W08, myself leading as Sober-One Kenobi (nickname credited to Emily). And obviously we were the most badass of our group. That is, until we heard the scariest noises coming from just outside our door. It was a deep, frightening growl making for an attack! I'm not lying; just ask the other four from my room, alright? Our door opened right up to the courtyard from the movie, so it was open to any monsters that would want to come eat us in the night. After a half hour or so of the mountain cat trying to get around the door [which was in the ground, but not connected to the walls, so if the monster had been a little smaller, it might have slipped in and gotten us!], the men running the hotel showed up in the courtyard to scare it off. I'm convinced they were guarding our doors for the rest of the night armed with AK-47s and grenades!

JAN 24:

Not much was on the books for today beyond driving to Djerba, so we wound our way north-eastward. We stopped in Tatwiin, which was pretty cool, but we were all kind of O.D.'ing on Star Wars. Next, we took a break in the mountains at the incredible village of Chenini, a fortress maze of homes built entirely around and into a rocky hilltop. The breathtaking existence of this town will amaze even the most detached of travelers. The few of us that stuck with Khalil went on a guided tour of the whole site with a resident of Chenini.

I'd like to mention that today was when everyone realized we had been followed for the past week. I had noticed back when we were staying in Tamerza that the same green Extera-like car, complete with two businessmen, was appearing wherever we went. But you don't notice these things until you're in the middle of impoverished nowhere to recognize which of these things are not like the others. Suit and ties are not a part of the rural Berber lifestyle, let alone shoe polish and a car costing way more camels than your family compound can upkeep. But I didn't notice until today that there was a white van with policemen in front of us, too. I asked Moez, and he said that they were escorting us to make sure we didn't break down in the desert, or something. Yea.... something. Good times in Tunisia, ensured by the government. Sweet deal.

After Chenini, we stopped for lunch in another ksar, or fortified village, that was being renovated into a five-star hotel. We still had a few hours of driving to do, but that didn't stop us from pulling over to watch an actual camel-crossing. We left the sandy plains for the wetlands of the southern coast, crossing the man-made causeway, and landing on the island of Djerba. Despite bearing our bathing suits, the weather seemed to be a no-go for beach activities, although Emily and I were all geared up to track down wet-suits and boards and try it out. We set up in a gorgeous 5-star hotel for the next two nights, and relaxed for a few hours before dinner. My persistent little plague decided it was going to be another early night, so I took my leave after dinner (complete with an amazing performance of Tunisian music and dance) and some sheesha.

JAN 25:

We woke up from dreams of sand and camels to..... a beautiful 5-star hotel, complete with a bangin' breakfast. And the best part: we were staying for ANOTHER night! Sweet deal, two nights in one place? To start the day, we stopped in Houmet Asouk, Djerba's winding maze of marketplace alleys. I bought my baby sister her birthday present, a painting of a camel, and a wicked cool winter scarf for myself. Then Carolyn made a find we would soon regret. With twenty minutes left until we had to leave, we started to chat it up with a jeweler, who wanted to show us his other shop. We fell in love with all the intricate pieces he had, and made a couple choices, bartering him down real low. Then we realized two rings we wanted were too big for each of us, and he said he'd re-size it for free, it would only take ten minutes. I was going to buy the ring either way, and fix it back him, but sure, why not. We had enough time. I gave him my Claddagh ring, so size it the same, and he took the three and went to the other shop to size. And didn't show up for awhile... we were going to be late... talked to Khalil... still not back.... Khalil shows up and starts giving the store guys a hard time for it.... ten minutes late now, it's been twenty.... where is he?.... can't get money back and leave, he has my Claddagh.... twenty minutes late, it's been a half hour.... still not back, and beyond pissed..... Marion's calling us, but reception cuts her out... still not back.... Finally shows up, gives us a bit of a refund, and we book it to the bus forty minutes late, Carolyn's ring un-sized, and Khalil a pack of cigarettes lighter. We can't go to the famous synagogue until after lunch, because it's closed now, and everyone's pissed. Fantastic.

We had lunch, and then went to an ALLIGATOR ZOO! Oh boy, that wasn't on the schedule! No joke, we saw about a hundred of the suckers lounging around in nasty water. After some of Khalil and Moez's sweet-talkin', we got to go INTO the baby nursery, watch them be fed, AND a few of us got to hold one! Then back with the big kids to watch a handler and Megan throw entire chickens for lunch! Bones'n'all. No, Conner, they weren't alive.

With the weather getting a little rough again, we had a quick, serene stop in the renowned Ghriba synagogue before heading back to the hotel. As a symbol of Tunisia's religious acceptance, the synagogue stands to represents the 1400 year old holy site, and an important stop in North Africa for Jewish pilgrims. Once you enter the building, you remove your shoes, and men don supplied kippahs, while women choose a scarf to wrap our hair in. During our short visit, we glimpsed one of the oldest Torahs that is housed in Ghriba, although no pictures were allowed.

Again we had a relaxed evening in the hotel, another amazing dinner I'm told , and a group of us escaped to the hotel's amazing sheesha lounge. Chilling out against cushions, we had a near-private concert by a local oud player and singer. The oud is an Arabic lute-like instrument that is accompanied with traditional lyrics. The musician was amazing. After a calm few hours, a few games of pool in the billiards room, most of us went dancing in the hotel's disco for the rest of the night. The weather had cleared up, the stars were out, the house music played for hours, and it was an incredible final night of our trip to the South.

JAN 26:

Early start! We had a lot to do, place to go, a certain professor's mother to meet, and more old to walk around. Departure time: 6:30. Ok, fine, 6:45. Which to some people means 7:00. But hey, only half hour off schedule, yea? Until you count leaving someone at the hotel, and waiting at the ferry dock for their taxi to come. Then it's off Djerba, and zooming on our tired way to Sfax, home of the Masmoudis, where Khalil's mama and family were preparing lunch for the whole herd of us. It was incredible, she is the more adorable woman in the world, and I can say with confidence that we all wanted to scoop her up in a big hug . Their home is beautiful, with an incredible backyard, complete with the compulsory Tunisian orange tree. The food was amazing, and the first home-cooked meal I had eaten in days. It's an incredible thing: when you're sick, the ONLY thing your stomach want to eat is food a mother has made. I would like to say that that afternoon is when I started feeling better. Thanks, Mama Masmoudi! Also, it was Lee's birthday, so they had a cake waiting, too!

With Khalil worrying about missing El Jem, we skipped the Sfax medina and booked it on up the coast. Making it in time, I finally got to walk around freely in the amphitheater at El Jem. Built later than the Roman Colosseum, El Jem is built with better technology and stone, and will last much longer than it's infamous big brother. Because of it's structural safety, the entire site is open to the public, and we even were able to climb down the hidden stairs around the place, down into the dungeons, down into the depths of the ancient torture site where the present time can thank the Romans for pioneering cruel and unusual torture for entertainment's sake. Under the stone and sand of the arena (which means sand, you know) is a single corridor of pain, lined with prison cells echoing ancient screams and pits no doubt never to be clean of the blood of the innocent killed above. Faced with this horrible reality of the past, we reacted the only way that anyone would think morally acceptable: we cried.

Haha, yea RIGHT! You can bet the family farm that we raced up and down, growling like lions at the easily-frightened Japanese tourists walking on the grate covering our pits, and staging gladiator versus Christian fights around the huge arena. Just guess who always won! I'll give you two chances and you better only need one, or you're sure to fail all Roman history classes of your future.

Exhausted from the long journey, we piled back onto the bus and drove straight home. Gone from our families for so long, still Sahara-sandy and sunkissed, craving the familiarity of our host-homes and little sea-side town of La Marsa, it was about time to return. Carolyn and I were picked up by our crazy sister, Malek, the wonder-driver amongst the La Marsan elderly, for a snail-like drive to our house. We had a quick dinner, headed upstairs to unpack and relax for the night in p.j.'s on the couch and catch up with the world on BBC France-- but no. Safwen and the boys busted into our house around 11, giving us no choice but to go to a cafe with them, and did not return us until 2. Thank God, we had copies of the house keys by now, because it was a late night! Good thing we had a free day next, so I slept until the beautifully-late hour of ten. What is this country doing to me, I think ten in the morning is sleeping in now?!?

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Photos

older house in Chenini
still occupied