Blue Balls and Ham

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There are monkeys here, vervot monkeys, with bright blue testicles. Not just any shade of blue either. Imagine an incredibly vibrant Robin’s egg blue. That’s the colour of these monkeys testicles. And better yet, they like to show them off (typical men). We came across a group of them the other day swinging around in some trees and climbing on a few fences and one of the bigger males stops in plain sight, like he knows he’s being watched, with his legs staggered so that his testicles were perfectly framed. It was a golden photo opportunity so of course I was without my camera. But this monkey held his pose for a good couple of minutes before moving on his way. Show-off!
At least Mwanza has monkeys though, because after last weekend I’m fairly certain there’s no more pigs anywhere near here. I’ve heard them all die. It’s a horrible high pitched squeal that can only last ten seconds at most but it was endless. For two nights in a row and even one morning, as soon as the sun had set and it was dark or before it had risen again, these guys took it to the poor pigs. I don’t even know what they’d do with all the meat because most of the butcher shops won’t sell it so unless they’ve got a giant freezer somewhere near by there’s going to be an awful smell coming from somewhere. The strangest part about all of it is that even though the piggie’s screams are clearly audible up here and sound like they’re coming from just down the road, I haven’t seen any pig carcasses (with the exception of the regular single pig fry-up that goes on every Sunday but that’s just one pig, there’s still at least a dozen unaccounted for). It’s a mystery. There’s only two or three pigs left in a pen that used to be full but no bodies and no smell of bacon. Aside from the screams, it was like the perfect crime, they just disappeared in the darkness...
Speaking (or writing?) of darkness, we’re in the middle of another power outage here. I was quick, I got my shower in while the generator was still running. I’m not falling for the cold water wake-up again, I had enough of that in Geita. Well, not so much this second trip. I stayed at the same hotel, Goldbelt (I know it sounds more like a strip-joint but apparently it’s one of the nicer places out there) and they were kind enough to tell me on my arrival THIS TIME, never mind that I’d already spent five nights there, that you need to ask to have the hot water turned on! Thanks but you’re about five cold showers too late! So, I’m over cold showers now and was running to beat the clock tonight and just as I wrote that, the electricity came back on and then there was light!
So Mwanza has gone from being totally foreign to kinda like home in a weird sense and I think I may even be getting used to all the chaos down in the market, except I had myself a bit of a … discussion with a guy selling pineapples today. First he tried to tell that they were TSH1000 a piece, which is nonsense, they shouldn’t be more than TSH700 but fine everyone tries to rip-off the mzungo (whites). Then when I managed to barter the price down to 700 and 600 for a large and smaller pineapple, he tried to give me completely unripe ones. Another five minutes of hand waving and broken Swahili to get him to sell me two decent pineapples and he tells me it’ll be 1500 for the both. No. I’m sorry but 700 plus 600 is 1300 not 1500. OK he says and nods along with it, so I put the two pineapples in my bag and pay him 2000 and wait for change. I’m given 500 in return and have to pull out the pineapple and again explain that 600 plus 700 is 1300 not 1500. He looked perplexed so I said it again, mia sita na mia saba… elfu moja mia tato, and smiled. He again tried to give me the 500 and ignore the rest of the change which wasn’t all that much I was just getting annoyed at this guy and I’m pretty certain my math was a little more on target than his. Finally he turned to his buddy who pulled out the 200 piece coin but then my friend smiles and puts it in his pocket nodding and saying this is for him! No. Not quite. And please don’t call me rafiki again because after this I am not your friend. There is no quick shopping in this place, I think it took about 15 minutes for me to get my pineapples and my change from this guy and then he tried to sell me a watermelon! Thanks but no thanks, I don’t have the energy to go through all that again! But then a really nice man sold me some eggs and I almost forgot all about the pineapple thing. That’s how it works, something about this place or someone will frustrate you and make you miss home but then something even better happens or you meet a great character and for five minutes can stop and chat and then the… less enjoyable?... things don’t matter as much.
The asking for money is something I just have to shake my head at. When I walk to NIMR in the mornings I pass by almost 100 kids dressed in blue slacks or skirts, pressed white shirts and shiney black shoes that will be grey with dust by the time they return home. Many of them smile and say good morning (good morning is also the greeting you’ll get from these kids in the afternoon, evening, and night), and some call you mzungo, snicker and laugh. Yes, congratulations you know you’re colours, I am white. Good job and move on. This morning was no different and I passed a girl about 14 who smiled and quietly said good morning, so I slowed and said the same but after passing by, she murmured something else. I stopped and turned and she was facing me in the path, with her head held high and shoulders back, and, looking me straight in the eyes, she said in her sweet, quiet voice “give me my money.” Disbelief. Complete and total disbelief that left me unable to say anything so I just kept walking. I wonder what they expect when they demand their money. It’s one thing to hear from street kids who say it in passing but this girl was standing there expectantly like she really believed I was going to give her “her money.”
I’ve spent all day at NIMR staring at this computer screen and so I’m about at my limit. If I don’t manage to get any photos up while I’m down here which might not happen given the speed of the internet they’ll all be there in a week or so.

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