Wake up and smell the coffee

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In fact coffee plants and the freshly picked beans don't actually smell but if they did I could literally wake up and smell the coffee from a nearby farm, as it is I have to make a cuppa (fresh of course not instant!) to do so. (More on coffee to come in a future blog entry as I have managed to arrange a tour for my parents around the Burka Coffee Estate, thanks to the kindness of the part owner/manager friends).

I feel, after the aftershock (in this part of the world geophysical metaphors are obviously also acceptable) of chidbirth, emigration and previous years of believing I could not have children and stress and burnout in the UK ratrace, I am indeed waking up to smell the coffee, despite not drinking nearly as much as I did during those years in the NHS!

I used to come to Africa with a backpack, now I am here with a baby- something I would have never envisaged. East Africa has been in my blood I think since I first visited in the early 90's and each time I have returned to do either voluntary work or research with the long term goal of training in Environmental and Public Health and to use those skills in Africa. Ironically, I find I have returned to Africa, this time as much to help myself as to help others. The Ennegram Institute personality typing has helped me greatly with this; I am a type 2. They have some good qualities but a key flaw of a type 2 is not addressing their own needs; 'if you are not addressing your own needs it is highly unlikely that you will be able to meet the needs of others withour problems, subconcious resentment and continual frustration' (Ennegram Institute). Sadly I have lost alot to learn this lesson but I have also gained. I think that the gain is what you need to focus on as you age and learn more about yourself as this will help you to stay positive and not beat youself up for your failings and if you are prown to it, lapse in to depression (by depression I mean 'stress related' rather than 'clinical'- I am no psychologist so I would point people in the direction of books by Dr Tim Cantopher and also the use of CBT). Pregnancy, for me, was the start of caring for myself and 'Africa time' has then provided me with the rest I think I so desperately needed and will hopefully help me to become a good mother.

I now feel able to return to my work but am doing so very tentatively as I do not want to make the same mistakes. It is not for all mothers but I beleive I need to do so for my sanity, my independance, as my duty to the people around me, particularly living here in Africa where there is a public health need and more practically to contribute financially to our family income.

My coffee drinking habit is a vice I have no intention of giving up (there is some seriously good coffee here!) but if each time I have a cup I can focus on one thing each day I am doing for me (other than drinking that cup of course e.g yoga, massage, a game of tennis, a run, a walk, reading, playing with my son, COFFEE with friends) and one thing however simple that I am grateful for, I am hopefully continuing 'to wake up and smell the coffee' and thus being able to better take care of those around me.



A swahili proverb

'Mwenye moyo wa furaha humzaidia raha.'

English translation

'The person who has a cheerful heart will discover that joy is always on the increase'.

Meaning

'A person who is contented finds that joy keeps flowing in to his or her life'.



Another swahili proverb

'kila ndege huruka na mbawa zake'.

English translation

'Every bird flies with it's own wings'.

meaning

'Every person has what it takes to live their life'.



Photos by Ruth Dixon, who kindly tagged on a few days to her Nairobi conference to come and visit us.

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