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Published: July 26th 2010
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La Coupe du Monde
The footy
Went to 9 games in all:
- Argies 4:1 Korea
- USA 2:2 Slovenia - US denied winner due to some dodgy reffing (he he)
- Barcelona (plus a few others) 2:0 Honduras - total footy when Spain needed to win
- Engerland 1:0 Slovenia - I had to endure 34 hours in a bus with no reclining seats for this shite!!!!!
- USA 1:2 (aet) Ghana - he he x 2. Transport was a nightmare.
- Argies 3:1 Mexico - Teeeeeeevvvvvveeeeeeezzzzzzz gggggggoooooooaaaaaallllllll
- Japan v Paraguay - the dullest game I have been to in years. Don't even care what le result was.
- Brazil 1:2 Holland - what a game. Goals, intricate play, sending off, ze cwazy dutch fans
- Argies 0:4 Germany - Argies shown how to play total footy
The ticketing
"It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham"
Soooooooo many seats available at all games inc. the QFs involving Braz v Holland and Argies v Ger!!!
13,000 seats empty at Paraguay vs Japan in 2nd round. FIFA
Argies vs Mecccchhhiicccooo
From the perspective of a backpacker, what a waste of toilet roll! could’ve been onto a winner had these been given free to school kids.
Met a group of Soweto school kids that were given free tickets to Argies v Korea at 1pm on the day of the game. IT BLINKING KICKED OFF AT 1:30PM. They only saw the last 10 minutes. DOH!
Met New Zealand's No. 1 fan, a Mr. Kevin Maradona Hart. The only fan to have travelled to their away qualifying fixtures in Fiji and New Caledonia. Thought I knew a bit about footy until meeting him...
One slight bonus was that you could buy the cheapest ticket on the street and move to the expensive seats when inside ☺ I didn’t do this mind…much
The devil that is the corporate sponsor
I know they’re needed but did Coke really have to make the Botswanan tribal dancers, in full costume, sing a 15 minute song stating ‘Coca-cola is the drink of Gods’ at the fan parks?!?
Tabloid headline winners
- FICK FUFA
- Swiss roll Spain
- Portuguese nuke Korea
- “Blatter is my long lost Pa” says Octopus
Soweto shenanigans Pt. II
The
Soweto Zulu handshake. 4 versions of which 3 start the same way. Everyone changes versions throughout the day. Er, so you just try to go with the flow. As Mr Hansen says “You gotta play the percentages, och aye de nu Jimmy!”
Shebeens - local bars for local people (and randoms). It’s basically a shed with a TV and a man standing in a stockroom selling cheap beer from behind iron bars. No guns allowed but dominoes are.
Tripe with rice - thought it was, after a few beers, an unmixed mushroom risotto. Had to eat it as it was made especially for us. Kinda like eating salty rubber with a few toxic monkey knuckles thrown in for good measure. Just yukky to infinity and beyond. DON’T DO IT KIDS!!
Final in Soweto fan park - 40,000 slightly inebriated locals. 10 of us. Lots of beer. Ended up hitting 2 local clubs via the transport medium of a VW beetle without a starter motor.
Saffer pies >>>>>>>>>>>> Aussie pies >>>>>>>>>>>>> British pies
Kota = ¼ loaf of bread - the centre + chips / mince / chilis / anything
Far too many nationalities having
T is for TOWNSHIP
SOuth WEst TOwnship, June 2010 fun inc. Argies, Americanos (until they lost ☺, Dutch, Saffers, Swedes?, Dutchies, Aussies, Brazilians…
Lekker. Schnell. Ja. Puppies.
Cape Town
- A stunning city with an amazing backdrop in Table Mountain
- Climbed Table Mountain
- The fan walk of dreams. A 2.5km walk through city centre streets lined with bars, bands and fans to the most aesthetic of stadia.
- Visited the Cape of Good Hope and surrounding, simply beautiful, coastline
- Went to a slightly racist Afrikaans gig
The slightly more serious stuff
Visited the following in Soweto:
- Apartheid museum detailing all it’s infamy. Heavy, heavy going and need to go again..
- Hector Pieterson museum commemorating the 1976 Soweto uprising where +500 school children were killed by the police for protesting about the forced introduction of Afrikaans in skool
And these in Cape Town:
- District 6 museum (Cape Town) detailing the relocation of the Blacks from the prime location next to the CBD. Ended up being taken on an amazing impromptu tour of the locals area by the self appointed Mayor of District 6.
- Robben Island. The prison where Nelson Mandela
was 'banged up'
The HIV / AIDS issue
- upwards of 40%!i(MISSING)nfected in certain areas
- free testing in the local shopping centres
- free condom demonstrations
- free condom distributions
This is scary and appears only to be getting worse.
Top tunes
Anything by MF Doom.
Stat attack - No. of backpackers mugged in Soweto = 1 (for a mobile)
- No. of backpackers not mugged in Soweto = 1,000
- Jumpers for goal posts games won against the locals = 2 of 2
- Nights spent camping = 29
- No. of nights it rained sand inside my tent = 1
- Distances covered = 4,000kms (2,000kms driven by Stotty)
- No. of days spent wondering how le hell the transport system works = most of them
- Variations of the Soweto handshake mastered = 4
- No. of people annoyed with my Vuvuzela antics = 1,437 and counting
A free Nelson Mandela said... "I cannot help it if women pay me attention. I am not going to protest" 😊
Tune in next week folks for…
‘Toffer meets Mugabe’
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Denise Plant
non-member comment
Get your facts right!
You said that +500 children were killed by the South African police at the Soweto uprising. That is such hyperbole! Go to http://www.sa-venues.com/attractionsga/hector-pieterson-memorial-site.htm to see the truth.