Religion, etc.

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New development! So I just took a break from blogging to go help Aida in the kitchen, and I asked her where her dad was because he was gone last night. She looked surprised and said he had gone out and then laughed and asked me if I missed him. I laughed too and thought nothing of it. And then her mom left the room and she comes over to me and says that he's with his other wife! I was completely shocked, and she just said that it's not a secret, but we don't talk about it, and then her mom came back in and that was that. I have so many questions I want to ask, but I'm not sure if that's completely rude... I will wait to see if it seems alright to ask Aida some questions when we're one on one later... she is very open about things with me. But wow! I have to say I'm quite shocked... I knew people would be living in polygamous households, or parts of polygamous households... its just strange to find out 2 weeks in! It totally puts a spin on things, especially since they told us during orientation that polygamy is more common in uneducated families, and both my host mom and dad and very educated, so who knows what the story is. I guess its not really my business but I can't say I'm not curious.

Now that I think about it, I found out last week that Paibou, my oldest brother, wasn't my mom's son. She mentioned that Tanor was her oldest son in passing and I thought about it for a second but then thought maybe he was a cousin that they adopted like a son, or something. Then recently Aida did tell me that Paibou was her father's son but not her mother's son... but since Paibou is older I thought maybe her dad had been married before (widower perhaps?). This changes everything... maybe Aida's mom is his second wife? Although I wonder why would Paibou would live here and not with his mother. I have no idea... And the other day when Aida and I were running errands, I asked her what she thought of polygamy, and she said she wouldn't want to be married to a polygamous husband because she wouldn't want to have to share her husband, but that polygamy itself isn't bad because it allows more women to get married (because there are more women than men in Senegal, as she told me). I think I was pretty blunt in my thoughts on the topic since I never suspected that her father was polygamous. It might make the most sense that Matou, my mom, is his second wife since Paibou is older. Or maybe he has three wives!

Alright no more assumptions... I suppose I'll just mull in my curiosity and see what else emerges the longer I live here! I did start this second post with a purpose. Lots of people have asked me questions about living in a religious country, specifically Muslim, so I thought I'd write about it a little bit.

Living in an Islamic country is definitely interesting, especially since its Ramadan right now. I would say it affects me the most in terms of meals and the general level of fatigue of those around me. Fasting isn't that big of a deal with my family though because my 6 year old brother doesn't fast so they never have to cook for only me. I would definitely feel bad if that were the case, but since we eat together I don't feel like I'm hugely inconveniencing them. A few people in the program have been fasting with their families, but most still drink water. No one here truly considers it fasting if you drink, but I still admire their effort! I definitely want to try for a few days, maybe the last week... its just hard with being constantly active and concentrating in class. My family wakes up at 5 am to eat, then sleep extremely late, sometimes till 3 or 4, breaks fast at 7:30, and then eats a big meal really late, often after 11. Its hard for me to go along with this schedule because I don't have the option to sleep in till 3, and I couldn't even if I tried because I'm on a schedule these days. So I wake up and eat breakfast as usual, eat lunch at school, break fast with my family at 7:30 and then eat a really late dinner. Dinner is often really difficult because the break fast is not small and I'm never really hungry that late, I just want to go to sleep. Oh well! Only two weeks left.

Otherwise, people seem generally exhausted all the time and lots of things are put on hold. Stores close for several hours, vendors sleep by their stands, tons of people are sprawled out on the side of the road, sleeping or fanning themselves. My friend Eva told me that she saw a dead man on the side of the road the other day, and that nothing apparent had happened to him except maybe some sort of terrible heatstroke. Apparently people who are already malnourished suffer terribly during Ramadan, especially with the extreme heat and no water. I can't imagine fasting in such underdeveloped conditions... my family has the means to sleep in comfortably and eat a big dinner, but for the homeless and needy it must be so difficult and dangerous.

Religion is definitely paramount in people's lives here, whether they are Muslim or Christian. People are also extremely tolerant of all religions and interfaith marriages are common and accepted (though this applies more to Muslim men marrying Catholic women because children take their father's faith). My sister said she wouldn't marry a Christian only because she wants her children to be Muslim, but that she has absolutely nothing against Christians. I thought my mom had converted from Catholocism, but it turns out her mom was Catholic but not her dad, so she was raised Muslim. However, a large part of the family is Catholic because my maternal grandmother's brothers are Catholic so their families are Catholic as well. People don't shy away from religion at all but its not constantly being discussed either... its just a fact of life that comes up now and then, and definitely affects almost all aspects of life here (as seen by the political conversation I had with Paibou).

Speaking of politics, I have been surprised by my family's affinity for McCain... I definitely think the national sentiment is more pro-Obama, but it does make some sense that they would be for more traditional, conservative values. At the same time, I think (and yes, I'm biased) that liberal politicians have more interest in international development and African issues so it would be more in Senegal's interest to have a Democratic president. But... its not like I think Obama is going to take on Africa's development as his main concern, so I suppose there is some truth to Paibou's assesment of the US abroad. I guess its just a little counter-intuitive for me to imagine my African family as Republican, but also interesting to hear their interpretation of American politics. Also interesting that they align themselves with the traditional values of conservatism, yet my own host dad is polygamous which would shock anyone in America, let alone the traditionalists!

To go on another tangent related to tradition... gender roles here are definitely very different, as I was warned. Although my family is more modern, there is still an assumed inequality between the sexes. I think its valuable to watch and understand attitudes towards gender without being too judgemental, but I definitely notice certain things. For instance, the women in my family eat with their hands while the men use spoons. At first I thought the women in my family just preferred to eat with their hands, but last night Paibou said that "in Africa, women eat with their hands." Thats the first time I ever heard that distinction, but it seems a little strange to me. I should ask my sister why that is the case. Also, my thirteen year old sister does SO MANY CHORES. If I ever complained when I was younger, I had no idea. She cleans the house, does a large amount of cooking, takes primary care of her younger brother... I would say she and the maid do an equal amount of housework, yet the boys spend the entire day sleeping or hanging out in the park with their friends. Aida doesn't seem to think twice about the work she does and its clearly an accepted part of Senegalese culture that women deal with all the housework and childcare. I think if the boys were doing something useful with their time, their responsibilites wouldn't seem so uneven, but Aida really is responsible for so much more than them even though she is a lot younger.

There's definitely more to reflect on these topics, but I'm about blogged-out for these past two days... I'll try and keep track of interesting things that happen in relation to religion and politics and update later. Like I said, feel free to ask questions! It helps me think of what to write about...

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Comments

[Steph]

Hey Kim!! I haven't talked you for a while so I thought I would comment on your blogs. Let me just say I love reading them! I've tried to convince other people who are going abroad to start them too because they are so interesting to read. Things here are very stressful but it's nice to kind of escape to africa for 10 minutes every once in a while. So I was telling Jane, I think its so interesting that you just found out your family practiced polygamy so far into your stay there. I wonder if your host father doesn't see his other family as much, or if he just waited until you got settled in before he left. If you have any updates on the polygamy stuff totally put it on here. Anyway, I'm glad things are going well and you're having so much fun!! I'll talk to you later. Steph