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Published: July 17th 2008
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Little Albert
This delightful little boy just came up and lay down next to me at Kande Beach. Here's the story of my grand (and quite unique) entrance into Malawi. My first impressions of the country were pleasant. I was wearing my Celtel Akon tee shirt (see French Drop entry) and I was feeling great. We got stamped out of Tanzania by a scowling bulldog disguised as a lady, then crossed the border to the Malawi side and headed to Customs. I wouldn’t say I was glad to leave Tanzania, but I was excited about seeing this new country that EVERYBODY raves about.
I walked into the immigration office with a big smile (which is a ploy I use to trick customs officials into thinking they’re happy) and handed my passport to a fat Malawi man who looked me up and down before even looking at my passport. I should add at this point that every single customs official in Africa so far had been in a bad mood about something, as if they despised their job almost as much as they despised people in general. Anyhow, this one’s eyes stopped when they picked up the Celtel logo on my shirt, I guess because it was pretty unusual for a visitor to be wearing it. He looked at
me suspiciously and asked me where I got the shirt from, making me feel instantly guilty for some reason and at the same time beginning, perhaps, the first conversation ever to be held between a tourist and an official.
I tentatively shared the story of how I won the shirt dancing in Uganda, choosing my words carefully in case it was some kind of crime in Malawi to go to nightclubs. This intrigued him a great deal and seeing from my passport that I was Australian, he asked me how we dance back home. Still on the back foot, and slightly confused, I began to describe it, but he stopped me straight away. "Show me," he said. My friends and family can attest that it doesn’t take much to get me dancing in public - usually only about 8 beers or a good hypnotist, but for some reason, this time I was slightly hesitant. Was this some sort of test? Would he refuse my entry into the country if I didn’t dance? I wasn’t sure, but I knew that when a man in uniform holding your passport tells you to dance, your best bet is to do it and
Kayak Trip
I sat in the very back so I could stretch my legs out. to do it quickly.
I mentally scrolled through some of my better moves and came up with the old robot arm, which I knew was a gamble, but went through with it anyway. I waited for his reaction, and I was happy to discover he had never seen before. He was truly impressed and asked me to teach him how to do it. Meanwhile, people were beginning to queue up behind me, but the customs official didn’t care at all, they could wait for the old robot arm. I’m often reluctant in explaining my dance moves, but in this case I made an exception and showed him all the angles, much to his (and to be honest, my own) delight. It took him a while to grasp it, but he pretty much got the hang of it after a few minutes and asked if I had any more. I told him I didn’t (that was a lie - I have millions) and he didn’t mind, he just started joking around about Australia, Africa and Akon.
Amid much laughter and smiling he shook my hand, wished me the best of luck, and stamped me into Malawi. I wasn't quite
Malawi Air
Making a splash at Lake Malawi. sure what had happened, but I walked out of the office with a bigger (and more sincere) smile than when I'd entered. Now if that’s not the most pleasant entrance into a country you could experience, I don’t know what is.
The rest of Malawi was fantastic. I had another great adventure with Dulal when we kayaked way out to an island in the middle of Lake Malawi (which is about as big as the country itself) for a day of fishing and exploring. I wasn't very succesful in the fish catching department, but I don't mind blaming the equipment - a bamboo rod, about 4 metres of fishing line and a small pebble tied on as a weight... or maybe it was Dulal singing "one, two, three four five, once I caught a fish alive" (but getting all the words and numbers wrong) and scaring the fish away (or maybe I'm just a bad fisherman) but whatever excuse I use, looking back, it didn't taint that day at all.
I should also note how fantastic the wood carving is in Malawi, and how well priced it is. I bought many presents for my family from the markets
here, and made good friends with some of the carvers. I actually got one man to carve me a wooden piece of art with some nice words of my choice commemmorating my parents 25th wedding anniversary (which went down an absolute treat).
Another thing I loved about Malawi was that the currency is called the 'kwacha' (rhymes with 'such a') which I thought was such a fantastic name. Personally, I preferred to call it 'Kwach', because I thought that really rolled off the tongue better, and boy did I let that one roll off mine ALOT. "How many kwach for that? 500 kwach!? Too many kwach." It even inspired a little song which I often would break into,
"IIIIIII didn't start off with much,
Now I'm running out of Kwach..." (repeat)
Ah, good times. A place called Kande Beach (pronounced the same as candy) was amazing too. We played beach volleyball every night until the sun set and had fun meeting all the charming little kids who are so friendly and talkative. On the whole, Malawi was probably more of a holiday break than a safari, but that suited me fine. We all had the 'Zanzibar Hangover'
Camping
This photo sums me up pretty well. I had just woken up, and people have already showered and packed their tent up. anyway and needed about a week to recuperate.
Oh, and I should add that the only bad thing I have to say about Malawi is that I got some clothes stolen there, most notably my grey Russell Athletic jumper which has been a close friend of mine for many long winters. I don't know what they need jumpers for over there, but I hope whoever took it overheats severely and really suffers.
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Grant
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Stolen Jumper
Devo about the Jumper buddy! I was going to put up a reward for it's safe return! But I wasn't sure about the exchange rate... "1500 Kwach for the safe return, the grey jumper for which I yearn!"