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Published: March 29th 2010
Mura Mura
taking it easyI made my way down to the very south of Madagascar! I feel like I was entering a whole new country the more south I went. The humid rainforests quickly became mountains and vast deserts! They have this tree called the Baoboab which I am a big fan of. It's like a chubby looking tree that everyone loves here. Then there was this beautiful lake with a waterfall behind it. I felt like I was in a dream. I'm having quite the adventure here! Mura mura everybody! It means 'take it easy' in Malagy.
Yes! I'm Wrong!
Being wrong isn't that bad. Being wrong can be the best feelings sometimes. Wrong about the plane crashing. Wrong about the hotel maid stealing your phone. Wrong about your jealousy issues. Wrong about being pregnant, hehe, just kidding, I love kids! Being wrong is great because people hate others who always think they're right. But some people have such a tough time handling the fact that they're wrong that they start acting emotionally instead of thinking rationally. It's OK to be wrong.
But its still hard to swallow the fact that I'm wrong. Maggie and I had this 'medium-rare debate' for
Landscape
On the road a long time now. When you order steak in Mandarin, you say "san fen shou" for medium-rare. For my entire life, I always thought "3分熟 meant medium rare because it takes three minutes to cook it. It seemed logical to me, but it was comical for her. She laughed and said, " No way it takes 3 minutes to cook a steak. That's ridiculous." I was defiant in my rebuttal but as hard as I tried, I couldn't make her see it my way.
One day I went out by myself and secretly bought a nice piece of raw rib-eye.
Alright, let's do it, medium rare in 3 minutes. I placed the raw meat on the pan and started the timer. I was delighted to hear the steak sizzle ferociously the second I put it in the pan. However, it gradually simmered down and my confidence simmered down with it. Doubt was dawning on me.The steak still looked pretty raw when I flipped it over and 2 minutes already passed...
D'oh! This does not look good. 3 full minutes passed and I turned the stove off. Here, in front of me, was a bloody steak that was oozing
red from all sides. It was not medium rare, it hardly qualified for rare.
No, no way Maggie's right about this. Professional Chefs have stronger stoves. The timer must've went off too early. This steak isn't standard size. No way. I'm going to eat this steak to prove her wrong... My mind was thinking ridiculous thoughts. It was thinking that if I ate that bloody piece of meat, it would somehow make her believe that it takes 3 minutes to cook a medium-rare steak.
I already knew I was proven wrong but my mind entered into a "denial" stage. I was stubborn and determined. Suddenly, something clicked in my mind and I felt myself wake up.
Wait...what the hell? Was I about to eat that crap and have food poisoning for days just to convince myself that I was right? THAT is not medium-rare. I'm wrong. Touche' Maggz. And just like that, I accepted I was wrong and moved on. Of course I never told her about it otherwise she'd gloat, hehe.
Imagine if I didn't step out of denial at that moment and I ate that bloody piece of steak. Not only would I
be really sick, I would have a girlfriend laughing at my face while she took care of me! To step out of my own shoes and look at myself objectively with no ego allowed me to see the truth. I didn't let pride or 'face' stop me from seeing what was really in front of me. As much as I hated to be wrong, I was unquestionably wrong. Being able to admit I'm wrong is a lot harder than being able to say I'm right. But change is never easy unless you embrace it. Admitting I'm wrong allows me to become a better person who moves forward in my learnings. Being stuck in denial keeps me close-minded and egotistical. I should be happy that I learned something new and not be bitter that somebody else was right. So... Yes Maggz, you are right, it does not take 3 minutes to cook a medium-rare steak...but maybe it takes 4 minutes with super-powered fire.... haha
In Buddhist philosophy, there is no such thing as "right" or "wrong". It doesn't give everybody a clear-cut list of rules. Instead, it gives you the "4 noble truths" that tells you the four true
facts in the world that are undeniable, regardless of time. Then it presents to you different paths that can be taken to attain these truths. Right or wrong is something that all of us need to understand for ourselves to determine if we are getting closer to the truth. Some people may think I'm wrong for eating meat whereas I think it has nothing to do with attaining enlightenment. I'm still learning to understand the fact that there is no "right" or "wrong" but it's tough because to live in society, you need to abide by the moral standards. But I have loosen up my grip on right and wrong to create a more general guideline. For myself, I want to say that as long as I am completely aware of everybody's feelings and I am not doing something that causes harm or has ill-intention behind it, then it's not wrong. Don't take my word though, I may be wrong about this...
I remember my first time I became conflicted about what was right and what was wrong. About 13 years ago, my brother and I went to buy ice cream and the clerk gave us a bunch of
pennies for change. When we got outside, my brother took the pennies and dramatically dropped them on the floor. I was shocked, "Why did you do that?"
"Well, think about it... only homeless people would pick up pennies from the floor, right? So, who needs it more, us or the homeless people?"
Wow! Big brother makes an excellent point. The next time, it was my brother, my dad and I who walk out of the convenient store. Once again, my brother dramatically drops all the pennies. I smile with pride because I feel that my brother is such a giving person. This time, my dad was shocked! My brother explained it to him but my dad was unimpressed. My dad said that he should be grateful for every penny that we have and not waste them.
Hmmm...also an excellent point. Then who's right? Both of them were my teachers of life so I was torn between who was right. Such turmoil and confusion in my tiny brain over some seemingly meaningless pennies. But those pennies actually made a big difference in my life. From that point on, it wasn't "everything Jon says is right" or
"everything dad says is right", it was "figure out both sides of the argument and feel which sides makes you happy."
Now, everytime I drop a penny on the floor I just laugh. I'm not sure whether I should gratefully pick it up or leave it on the floor for a homeless person. I'm still torn by that decision because I pick the penny up 50% of the time. But the difference now is that I don't feel like either decision is 'wrong'. Picking the penny up makes me happy. Leaving the penny makes me happy. I've recognized the benefits to both side of the argument and accepted it.
Being afraid to be wrong is far worse than being wrong. Realizing I'm wrong doesn't feel like the world is crumbling around me, in fact, it feels more like an enlightening experience. I'm awake for the first time and seeing things differently. There's no use in dwelling on my mistake because it's already in the past, I should focus on the new circumstances right in front of me. But being afraid of being wrong can restrain me from taking a chance on something I truly believe in. From
what I know, the greatest people are usually the craziest. They're usually the only person who knows that their insane plan is going to work while everyone else thinks he's wrong. Nevertheless, he works and works until everybody starts to see that his brilliant plan is starting to become real. Suddenly, he's not crazy anymore, he's a genius. Benjamen Franklin, Ghandi, Thomas Edison, Wright Brothers, Michalangelo, Alexander the Great, Albert Einstein. They became great because they weren't afraid to be wrong. People always thought Edison failed 10,000 times before he finally got it right with the lightbulb, but he said "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." It's great to be wrong because it teaches you something new. I don't ever want to be afraid to say, "Yes! I'm Wrong!"
Anyone who has never made a mistake, has never tried anything new - Albert Einstein
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Nina
non-member comment
Great quote
This was a very inspirational post, fatty! I really love that quote and will definitely apply it to my own situations. I love the photos, they look beautiful. I hope you're doing well :) I miss you lots!