The one where I get questioned

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For some queer reason I have been frequently getting the “What do you want to do with your life/ what are your career goals” question lately. I usually stare at the person with glazed over eyes and drool hanging off my chin in response. I usually don’t have much to say, and when I do say something, people look at me like I’m not ambitious enough, that I won’t amount to anything. What they are really saying, in their deepest gut, is, “Well why don’t you want to be successful and make a good living for yourself?” These life questions usually make me think of the question in different terms…What do you want? Well I can answer that question.

I want more girls in the developing world to be educated. I want my family to be happy. I want to feel like I have purpose in my everyday life, and in other peoples’. I want to go to sleep at night and know that I’m a decent human being. I want to live my life in a spirit of love and goodwill. I want my friends to have joy, real meaningful joy. I want to find a love so powerful that is undeniable. I want to continue efforts to surround myself with tolerant and open minded individuals. I want to give what I have, and never look back. I want to live my life as a perpetual journey, and not necessarily find a destination.

People can call me a dreamer, a hopeless utopist. They can look at me and say, “That girl doesn’t really have ambitions”. Someone once told me that the reason I can never stay in one place for very long, is because I am a lost soul. And when I find myself, I will stay. I think on the contrary. I don’t need a specified “place” or things, or “home” to be found. They can question me and ask me how I will survive without hopes of earning a lot of money. Maybe I will never have more in my savings account than a couple hundred dollars. Maybe I will never have a house to call my own or a nice car to drive. Maybe I will never be understood in how I want to live my life, and that is okay. The real question, for all of us is, “Are you ok with the way you are living your life?” And to all the naysayers, I say yes, thank you.

Quote of the post:
“Not all who wander are lost.” -anonymous

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