As of today,.. 2 weeks to go!

---

It's been pretty weird in my life lately, sort of balancing between different kinds of feelings and not really knowing what to do with all of it. I guess you reach a point in this experience where you don't know what you want anymore. I think I'm there now. I don't want to leave, but I can't wait to get to Toronto at the same time. Pretty weird.

I don't feel like I'm actually realizing that I'm leaving. It will probably hit me in the last couple days and when I'll have a little good-bye party and take the plane. The African notion of time is still in me and I still feel like I have lots of time left, since here we take one day at a time.

I pretty much finished work. I went to get my visual aids printed, made the suggestion box, made the calendars and all that. It's pretty much over on that side. Just have the final report left to do. This week. I took some time off. I thought it would be good to leave Ouaga for a little bit and go travel around and see what other volunteers are doing. So I went to Leo, in the south of Ouaga and stayed with Nicolas and Marie-Claude. It was great to see another type of setting. It also gave me the idea of what it would be like for me to volunteer in a small town. I'm actually not sure it would be for me, so it's good to know. Then on Thursday, I left for Yako, a bit North-West to go see Serge, another volunteer who really makes me think about my daddy. We had a good time and good conversation about life and our youth and plenty of things. I really like that man. He was almost being a psychologist through the conversation we were having that day. It was pretty good. Yako though is a very small town with not much to do. We did hit the local dancing bar for lunch... the main activity to do let's say!

I'm also on the last little preparation things. I sold everything I had. My fridge will go to one of the guys at work. Tiana, the next year U of T intern took my moped and my kitchen stuff, along with Djeneba who already reserved her spot for the moped. I'm pretty happy for her. She got money from her cousin who lives in France and was able to pay for the moped for after Tiana will use it. Djeneba also took my couch and table to bring in her family yard. I sold it for cheaper for her. And a secretary at work took one small mattress and the little food table I have on my mat-natte. So I'm good to go now! I got plenty of money!! A FIRST!!!

But... expenses are coming though, i"m not gonna lie.. have to pay my electricity bill and water bill until the end, pay my employees with a little extra because i'm leaving, repair my guard's moped at mom's request, help out financially Djeneba since she'll have to stay in the neighbourhood until Dieubeni is done school. We're thinking of asking the neighbours if they could keep him for a bit until school is over. Oh god.. he will freak out!! Then, open a bank account for Djeneba and check into a mailbox address. I also want to have a little going-away party before I go. It's already planed and ordered. We'll go at the Casa and have a little snack( shish kababs and chicken) and drinks (pop and beer) and then, for people who want to stay longer, go clubbing inside the place, with more beer and pop. It's a big expense, but I cannot just go away and do nothing for people. Seriously, everything I learned here came from them and it would be silly for me to leave and not at least give them a little something. I'm planning to have 65 people over.. Who would have thought I would have met sooo many people in 8 months. God! Not sure if everyone will come. I hope so though. Last weekend, we had another volunteer's going away party, but he only invited the white people, meaning the other canadian volunteers. I didn't want to do that. I did bound with some of them, but they are not the ones who made my time here. We'll have the party on May 16th, the day before my departure.

I took out my backpacks and suitcase today to get them washed (they are orange of dust!). I'm seriously thinking about packing soon. There are so many things I have that I don't use anymore. So I'm thinking they can be ready to go. Also, clothing wise, pretty much everything is going to the garbage or will be given. The washing here got them all weird and made holes in them. I will seriously need to go shopping back home in the first week. But yeah.. it's the last steps..

I need to do research too. It's pretty hard. I'm not sure I'll actually find a lesbian to interview, but I'll interview my friends and people I know on the gender roles issue and see what they think about the lesbian thing. I need to get on that next week.

Oh lord!! 2 weeks... I always have my lasts... meaning.. my last time going to that restaurant.. my last time seeing someone.. my last ... my last...
It's hard!!! when everything became such a routine that you never thought would end, but it does.
And as I say to everyone.. I'm not ready to leave.. but I knew this day was coming 8 months ago when I arrived here... so it's no surprise!

But.. on the bright side....
So much waiting for me back home.. some foods I can't wait to eat!!! some people I can't wait to see! finding my normal life back will be fun!

xxxxxxxxxxx

---