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Published: November 1st 2009
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As the Cricket Without Boundaries project in Botswana draws to a close, it's a great chance to reflect on the fortnight that we, as a group of intrepid cricket coaching volunteers from the UK, have experienced in this wonderful land. Despite the underlying sadness due to the high prevalence here of HIV/Aids and the obvious suffering that this causes among many families, hopes are high that in the future the HIV virus can be successfully managed and that the many children that we encountered on our short visit will be able to enjoy a positive future. Without exception the children that we coached were incredibly friendly, fun-loving, curious and very willing to give cricket a go (some had never played before). It was enormously surprising to all of us just how well-co-ordinated and naturally talened all the children were out here - this was something none of us really expected prior to our departure.
Talking of expectations, here's a brief review of which of them were met with success and which of them threw us completely, like an Ajantha Mendis mystery ball:
THINGS WE THOUGHT WE KNEW 1. There is NO European Union directive on the number
of 'European' volunteers (that's to say non-UK) on a Cricket Without Boundaries project.
2. Will McLaren-Clark's success with women is at best limited - he's no George Clooney.
3. When playing cricket, it is impossible to execute the perfect front-foot drive while wearing stilettos.
4. Meerkats eat anything.
5. All baggage-handling staff at Johannesburg International Airport are stout yeomen of South African society who display integrity, honesty and trustworthiness in impressive abundance, and furthermore, they make their fellow countrymen and international society at large enormously proud.
6. Tony 'Morbster' Morbin will definitely make a fine, upstanding, conscientious and trustworthy treasurer on any given project.
7. Brackendene Lodge in Gaborone deserves its reputation as an affordable, well-run and wholly efficient institiution in the heart of the Botswanan capital, specialising in Michelin-starred breakfast cuisine renowned throughout the world.
8. Our team of volunteers would be transported safely around Botswana in a comfortable, spacious, well-maintained and much cherished combi-van by a competent, astute, competent, reliable and thoroughly professional local chauffeur.
9. Put the team's money on BLACK when playing roulette.
10. Polar bears will endure no significant skin damage should exposure to the Botswanan
The way we were
EU compliant team structure sun last two or three days.
THINGS WE NOW KNOW 1. An EU directive DOES in fact state that there's a requirement that 25%!o(MISSING)f the voluntary workforce is not only 'European', but also female. PHEW! Thank the Lord for the wonders that were Veronique (France) and Veronika (Czech Republic), making up two of the eight members of our CWB Botswana team!
2. Like a moth to a flame, every woman in Botswana is apparently drawn mesmerisingly to our noble Team Leader Will McLaren-Clark, it seems. Much like the Bermuda Triangle, this remains a puzzling mystery and will no doubt remain so.
3. A front-foot drive CAN be executed perfectly while wearing stilettos or any high-heeled footwear together with a businesswoman's suit, and furthermore, you could probably nail a decent reverse sweep wearing stockings and a tutu I guess...
4. Meerkats have an intense dislike of obscure indigenous Botswanan fruit, and the effect is particularly galling to most members of the meerkat species should the mystery fruit be served up in a dog-bowl.
5. Baggage-handling staff at Johannesburg International Airport steal from luggage belonging to upstanding UK charity workers en-route to Botswana for
Clooney ?
On his day off their voluntary cricket coaching and HIV/Aids awareness project, and we sincerely hope that you are reading this blog from under your rock. At the time of publication, as well as personal possessions having gone missing among the mighty CWB team, a very large equipment bag brimming with gear and gifts destined for the deserving children of Botswana, and which as been donated most generously by supportive UK citizens, has also become a victim of a mysterious disappearance.
6. Tony 'Nick Leeson' Morbin should never, under any circumstances, be placed in charge of any monetary sums in excess of £2.50 lest he gets slightly tiddly on red wine and leaves the team's impressively-large kitty unattended in the presence of several hundred strangers. You have been warned.
7. The morning 'sausages' served up at Brackendene Lodge have been condemned, and the local dog population (with tackle intact) has since seen a sharp increase.
8. When our decrepit combi-van wasn't off the road for a tyre blow-out repair, 'Private Godfrey', our menacing driver for the fortnight, skillfully homed-in on each and every Botswanan pothole in each and every Botswanan road with all the precision of a laser-guided missile, and at
Driving in style.
Next season's performance clothing modeled by one of 57 coaches we trained a speed of which Alain Prost would have been most proud. We were fortunate to enjoy such a historical vehicle throughout our time in Botswana, for the seats in Godfrey's van had seen plenty of action in a former life, as third-class wooden seats on an Aeroflot passenger plane in the 1970s. At the end of our trip, the van was sold for scrap and made its owner £12.00.
9. Put the team's money on RED when playing roulette...okay Veronique??!
10. Polar bears can undergo vital skin-graft treatment to the backs of their knees should they expose themselves to the Botswanan sun for anything up to and including a four-minute duration. Our own cuddly polar, Mark 'Guru' Aylward, would help to prove this theory during the first minutes of the first day of our Botswana trip - and we are reminded that there is a certain type of cheese that you can use in order to attract this species of animal - it's CAMEMBERT..
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Veronika & Mike
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And it's all over...
Excellent job, Mike (we think it must be you as you mentioned the Camembert). Ravi - who won the final? also, have you tried Camembert after drinking?