I think Home and Away and D MJ Binkley have given some sound advice. Obviously none of us on here can dictate what you can and can't do, but please remember that you're only 19 and that you have SO much time ahead of you. I live in England and, until recently, hadn't really spent that much time travelling around Europe as I often chose to go to more distant continents. With that said, I have just got back from a trip that encompassed London, Paris, the Rhine Valley, Munich, the Tyrol in Austria, Venice, Lucerne, Lauterbrunnen and Paris. I've just turned 28. I actually met a lot of Australians along the way, some girls who were solo travellers in their mid twenties, some who had boyfriends back home who they were returning to once they had finished in Europe. A lot of them had been to the places where you wanted to go, and pretty much all of them were older than you. I think just take a bit of time and space to ensure that you are making rational decisions first, as it sounds like you've been through a tough time. There is no rush.
It's difficult for a forum of people who you don't know to make any comments on relationship issues, however the fact that you've said that your first thought 'wasn't to say yes', and that you feel like you're having a 'leash' being put on you, seems almost like a warning bell to me. Maybe it's something you should talk about with your partner first. This may sound selfish, but you've got to look out for number one (you). I've got a blog on my profile which might actually be very relevant to you: 'Lost and Found: a Solo Traveller's Perspective.' This isn't me trying to promote myself; this is me trying to be helpful, saying that you need to be brave enough to listen to what your heart is telling you to do and think about having a life with no regrets, even if it involves making sacrifices. It's worth you asking yourself what YOU want: do you want a successful relationship with this person (which may involve a lot of compromise)? Or do you want to travel without compromise? Some people are lucky enough to be able to have both at the same time, but can you see it working for you?
This is just a personal anecdote, and I don't wish to use it as a means of influencing you at all because it's your decision to make, but it may help you so it's worth a shot. I have been to many different places and met people from all walks of life, however this year I fell truly and helplessly in love with somebody from home. And I was happy, I really was. But when a close friend of mine died, I understandably began to struggle and broke down. All I asked for was his time and support, which isn't such a selfish thing to ask for, but I never got it. I have been strong enough to understand that, despite my feelings, our relationship would not have been a good one to continue because of the way he was with me. Obviously I was incredibly hurt and damaged around that time, so I chose to travel. I escaped to Madrid for a weekend to see a friend, and then travelled around Europe and have met the most amazing people and it always gives me so much confidence in being myself. Travel is a healer and it also strengthens your character and opens your eyes. I know that, had I stayed in my previous relationship, I would have never been able to go to where I wanted to go, nor would I have met such brilliant people who have seriously changed my life. Friends at home are settling and having children, but I choose to travel and will end up moving abroad very soon to start a new part of my life which, for me personally, is more exciting.
I know this has been a lengthy response and that I've focused on aspects of my own life and not yours, but it is relevant and I hope it has been helpful to you. All I'm saying is that sometimes you have to go through pain to get what your heart truly wants. It takes courage, but the decision is yours to make and you have to be brave enough to be the one to do it. Don't rush into anything; take your time to think carefully. Just don't be afraid once your mind is made up. If your partner isn't comfortable with the idea of you travelling on your own and isn't open to letting you do it, you need to think about what it is that you will regret the most.
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