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Parents with little children on flights.
It is not so much that I abandon my parenting role when flying, but being squashed into a small space with a restless kid for several hours..... Keeping them entertained is no easy thing. And they do make a mess no matter what they get to eat. As for the toilet thing, even if they do go before getting on the plane, it does not mean that they wont insist that they need to go every half hour while inflight.
People often have lots of ''bright'' ideas about what parents should do to make their child behave like adults during flights, but they really should test their theories to make sure they work, before they judge, because kids pick up on stress from people around and act out on it. Makes things worse for everybody.
But, so far all the airline staff I encountered have been completely kind and understanding. Thank goodness for that!
Quote from Mell
Yeah Mell, a child, especially a very young one can be a complete gamble for flying. My wife just got back from visiting family and said she sat next to a lady whose baby screamed until the last 15 minutes of a 2 1/2 hour flight. I'm sure a lot of the passengers were hating the mom, hell, if I was on the plane I admit I might be one of those people. At the same time, if the parent is trying to figure something out and the kid/baby has just gone over the edge, you just put it in perspective and realize if it's the worst thing that happens to you in the day, you're doing well.
because kids pick up on stress from people around and act out on it
Sometimes the problem starts in one area and even if the parent figures out what the problem is/was the situation has blown up and the child gets into a self-feeding loop. The parents and people around it are obviously unhappy which creates more stress on the child, which ramps up the parents/people, etc.
Anyway, my wife said she felt worse for the parent than anyone as it was obvious she was about to lose it over not being able to console her baby. Everyone made it though, so no harm done.
..... I was on the plane I admit I might be one of those people.
I used to be one of those people, before I had a child. Now, I know what it is like to have a screaming baby for half the day after a sleepless night. The only thing that can make that worse is being around demanding people who think the mother should be able to make the baby quite but for some reason she is stubbornly refulsing, because she likes the noise herself maybe. ;)
Anyway, my wife said she felt worse for the parent....
That is usually how I feel when I see parents with loud over active kids on planes, or anywhere for that matter. Either you wife is a mother herself, or else she is a naturally very kind and understanding person. Reply to this
Either you wife is a mother herself, or else she is a naturally very kind and understanding person
She is the latter, she's a nurse by profession.
And I think, for me, as strange as it sounds, my mood would be partially dictated by how close I was to the baby. If I was right next to it, I would be much more understanding because I could see the parent being helpless to do something. If I was somewhere further away, I might be more inclined to be angry or frustrated because I would have no idea if the parent was just sitting there ignoring the problem, or helpless to do something about it. Just being close enough to interact would make it much easier to deal with because I wouldn't feel so helpless and would at least know what was going on. Weird, I know. Reply to this
I would have no idea if the parent was just sitting there ignoring the problem, or helpless to do something about it.
That is another thing that makes it really difficult when other people are around. In public, a parent can never tune out for a while when (s)he cant take any more, like (s)he can do at home. There is constant pressure from those around to do something NOW. The people around can become as demanding on the parent for attention as the baby is. As well as trying to deal with the baby, the parent has to keep appologising, defending ..... to the people around.
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I think the lady who made that comment to me should grow up. :D Well, that phrase does not seem to fit here, but it seems like at least something to say, if I was the stroppy type who bothers to say things like that.
....what she did to make the child stare.
LOL I was going to tell her that they sometimes stare when somebody is wearing an unfashionable outfit or smells astrange. But, I am not the type to say things like that either. ;) Reply to this
Feel I have a little experience in the field. My son did 63 flights before he was 20 months old.
First and foremost rule...parents stressed mean child stressed. And you won't stop some people to get stressed on planes, that they fly with children or not.
Second, come prepared....I had a simple but efficient way to organize this. You make sure you come early in the plane to be properly set up. Once the family is set-up...it was time for bottle feeding or breast feeding (I've never done the breast feeding...lol). After this, there is a good chance that he would sleep for a while.
Later on, you make sure you wake him up 45 minutes before landing. This is the exact time when a plane start to get down for landing...which means his little ears will suffer. By having him eating at this precise time...as slowly as possible...you decrease the misconfort for him...therefore reduce the chance of crying.
In flight, I make sure if he was not sleeping, to have a stroll in the plane at least every hour...make it easier.
For bigger guys...same kind of story. Get in the plane early...and come equiped....drawing ALWAYS work before taking off...ask the to draw the plane and the airport.
After this, it's just a question of keeping them busy. The nicest thing today is the inflight video system on some planes....that's the best babysitter ever. Get a gameboy or something like that...I hate these things most of the time...but in a plane, they are life-savers. Now my son is nearly 9...fly all the time, all over...and he his the one complaining of other unruly kids. I have a very simple approach to these. I go and speak to the parents straight on. Now a kids who doesn't behave on land...won't behave in a plane. You don't deal with him, you deal with the parents.
Well, that's my little cent of opinion... Reply to this
Sad but true Mell ...
What I cant understand is why the realities of parenting are so misunderstood. People have been parenting forever and children have always been present in society.
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I go and speak to the parents straight on. Now a kids who doesn't behave on land...won't behave in a plane. You don't deal with him, you deal with the parents.
I have to point out that I am likely not bering very openminded in this discussion, because I have been subjected to an overdose of being judged(NOT on TravelBlog). There probably are parents who really could do better with their children on flights.
As a parent, I am so often in the situation of my child behaving worst than all the others, despite anything I try. My daughter is very active, loud and demanding and always was. If there is anything that will increase stress for parents with these types of children it is other parents who point out that their child does not behave like that, so the parent must be doing something wrong or even worse still they make comments the child can hear about the child. But anyway, what people have not personally experienced, they are unlikely to understand. It still increases my stress though, when I do encounter this situation with other parents which does nothing to make my child quieter.....
When travelling perhaps parents should consider getting their children to the doctor before a long flight and get some sedative or sleeping pills prescribed for their kids
But yes, I can see how they would be irritating for singles, when they are irritating for us as parents who love them.
When travelling perhaps parents should consider getting their children to the doctor before a long flight and get some sedative or sleeping pills prescribed for their kids
I for one would never give my child drugs to make her quite. In some situations, the best answer overall it not the convenient one.
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