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Published: July 19th 2011
GUATEMALA
Antigua
After the luxury flight from Panama to Guatemala where we dined like royalty, quaffed champagne and sneered at the commoners in cattle class, it was straight back to the thrills of backpacking as we took one of Guatemala’s legendary chicken buses from the airport to Guatemala City. Chicken buses are actually old American school buses – some don’t hide the fact and look exactly as you would expect, whereas others are pimped to the max, fitted with the obligatory Jesus stickers and crucifixes, and pumped up sound system blaring out Reggaeton beats. Once you locate the bus you need (usually by a local shouting the destination you’re looking for in a garbled, incoherent dialect, whilst you stare blankly, looking like the stupid gringo that you are), you jump on and wait for the bus to fill up… and fill up some more… and just when you think the bus can’t get any fuller, 20 snack vendors will jump on screaming at you to buy their snacks and treats. Journeys are NEVER dull.
We made the short journey across town to Guatemala City’s principal transport hub, Trebol Junction, to catch our next bus which would take us
to Antigua. Trebol Junction is, for any traveller, a minefield. There are cars, buses, taxis, commuters, vendors and guards everywhere, sprawled over countless different streets and junctions. After about 15 minutes of going back and forth, being pointed in all different directions, we started to make our way across a park to where we were told chicken buses heading to Antigua would be waiting.
Easily spotting our pale skin and blank expressions, another local stopped us to ask if we knew where we were going and offered to walk with us as he was going in the same direction. At the same time as if out of nowhere another guy appeared and latched onto Sandy, never less than a few feet away from her as we made our way to the bus. This scruffy, silent weirdo was obviously no kindly Samaritan and instantly alarm bells started to ring. We both looked at each other and gave the knowing look that something wasn’t right and our guards were raised. Sandy tried to change pace and direction to test the guy and as we suspected, he followed her every move. Even when Sandy stopped and requested him to carry on, he
stopped right next to her and refused to keep walking, and when Donny confronted him several times, asking what he wanted, the guy just responded with a mumble and more blank looks. The original man who was showing us the way was just ahead and to be honest, we don’t think he was involved with our new companion.
We made it to where the buses were waiting and, despite dodging between people and buses to try and lose the guy, everywhere we turned he was right behind us trying to get between us and closer to Sandy. Luckily Sandy heard a guy shout Antigua so we ran towards the bus (Donny having to push the freak out of the way so he wouldn’t follow Sandy straight on), jumped on and sat down at the front behind the driver. Unfortunately, our new friend decided to climb aboard too, sitting on the adjacent seat, sweating in the cool air, with an odd, vacant expression on his face. He had a jumper draped over his shoulders and seemed to be holding onto one of the arms very tightly as if there was something inside it and now thoughts of concealed knives started
to creep into our heads (weirdly, he was also carrying a watermelon in a plastic bag in the other hand).
Donny told the bus driver that this lunatic was following us, and when the driver confronted him he mumbled something about being our guide. We told the driver we didn’t know him and that he was not right in the head. Meanwhile the bus had filled up and was ready to depart, so the driver had no choice but to allow the guy to stay on the bus and start the journey to Antigua. The next 20 minutes were spent anxiously wondering what was in store, holding on to our backpacks for dear life, Sandy making eye contact with the bus driver every 2 minutes and Donny growling at the little rat next to us. Our luck was in though when the conductor went around the bus asking for fares. The guy opened his wallet and just sat staring blankly at the empty contents. After a few minutes, the conductor and driver threw him off the bus, shouted some insults, turned round and nodded to us, before continuing the journey. We’ve no idea what his game was but he
was definitely not right in the head. We’ve since heard a couple of other horror stories about chicken buses in Guatemala, but to be honest we think it was just bad luck. The majority of locals in the city were really friendly and helpful towards us but the incident did taint our opinions of Guatemala City.
We eventually arrived safe and well in Antigua and, in need of a stiff drink, we headed along the street to a recommended bar where we straight away bumped in to our 5th Scottish person on the trip, Ashley from Milngavie. It’s amazing how a voice from home can settle the nerves and put you straight back at ease.
Antigua is yet another colonial city and since its tranquil atmosphere and picturesque charm is a world away from the chaos of nearby Guatemala City, it’s first on the list for most travellers to Guatemala. Nestled among 3 volcanoes, Antigua is full of history, with many structures and monuments, damaged from an earthquake in the 1700’s, preserved as ruins. Local conservations laws are strict so the good news is that the city will remain in its current state and development won’t ruin its
historic charm, a phenomenon which we’ve seen too often on our travels.
The undoubted highlight of our time in Antigua was a daytrip up the closest of the volcanoes, and the most active, Volcan Pacaya. The volcano’s last major eruption was in May 2010, an event which killed one person, caused widespread devastation to farmers’ land and caused ash to rain down on Guatemala City and Antigua. The whole volcano complex is very active and the shallow magma chamber means that there are many spots where the heat rises right to the surface, so much so that you can toast marshmallows in the vents (which is exactly what we did thanks to a well prepared American couple).
We also did some downhill mountain biking which we survived unscathed despite a puncture ruining the day somewhat, and otherwise spent our time in Antigua relaxing, sightseeing and visiting the most beautiful McDonalds in the world (in our opinion). Seriously, it has fountains, statues, a pristine garden and a perfect view of the volcano all next to the Ronald McDonald statue and the ketchup dispensers.
Semuc Champey & Lanquin
After 5 days or so relaxing in Antigua, we moved
on to tranquil Lanquin for yet more relaxation (It’s a hard life being a backpacker after all). The town of Lanquin is a sleepy Q’eqchi’ village surrounded by hills, creating a breathtaking backdrop. It’s also conveniently located close to the natural wonder Semuc Champey, a natural limestone bridge upon which lies a series of idyllic pools that descend in a natural staircase of turquoise waters. Many operators give tours to the pools and nearby caves in which you can swim (one-handed while holding a torch), but we chose to hitchhike to the pools ourselves, the skinflints that we are. The pools were stunning and we had a great time cooling off in the crystal clear waters, having our feet nibbled by fish (you pay big money to have that done at home) and sliding down natural rock slides. There’s little else to do in Lanquin, aside from tubing down the local rivers with beer in hand and kicking back, taking in the glorious setting.
Lago de Izabel & the Rio Dulce
We had originally planned to head north to Flores & Tikal but after falling in love with the country, we wanted to prolong our Guatemalan adventure
so we decided to head east instead to see what it had to offer. And it didn’t disappoint. 25km from Rio Dulce (an uninspiring local village) lies a mind boggling phenomenon – a hot spring waterfall. Geothermally heated water cascades down from a hot spring into a river, creating a warm pool and a steam room environment in the middle of the jungle. It really has to be seen to be believed. Donny had lots of fun jumping and diving from above the waterfall whilst Sandy braced herself for bringing Donny home in a bodybag.
For this leg of the trip we had picked up some travelling companions in the form of Oystein and Ingvil, a Norwegian couple, along with an Australian girl and an American guy with his dog.
Bo, the slightly eccentric American, and Donny decided to do some fishing one afternoon but the plan was thwarted when Donny stood on a piece of broken glass while looking for bait in a river. Some readers may know that Donny has had a disastrous run-in with broken glass in the past but thankfully this wasn’t so serious: just a lot of blood and some difficulty walking and
swimming for about a week.
Flores & Tikal
Flores is the gateway to Tikal, arguably the king of all Mayan ruin sites and the last stop before Belize. It’s actually a really nice little town, with cobbled streets, great restaurants and a beautiful lake (Lago de Petén Itza) to swim in. We spent a couple of days enjoying the sun, planning our trip to Tikal and tending to Donny’s poor wee foot which was now slowly on the mend.
We booked a guided tour for the ruins at Tikal and were picked up at a ludicrously early time in the morning. Our guide seemed like a nice guy at first, and was very informative about the ruins. Unfortunately he had a tendency to be a little patronising and wouldn’t hesitate to loudly tell people off if he didn’t have their undivided attention, which made the tour a little fraught and tense. He also was a little too wrapped up in the mysticism of the Mayans and you got the impression that he wished he lived in 400AD rather than the present day so he could indulge in their “cosmic energy”.
Still, the ruins really are very
impressive, particularly with their spectacular jungle setting. When we climbed to the top of one of the highest temples and took in the view of the forest canopy and temples rising majestically out of the trees, it truly was breathtaking. We were also lucky enough during the trip to see (and hear) howler monkeys, be reminded of our time at the Bolivian animal sanctuary by seeing spider monkeys and coatimundis, and, best of all, getting to hold a wild tarantula which was just sitting on a tree trunk.
BELIZE
Border crossing from Guatemala
Moving on finally from Guatemala, it was another country and another border crossing. We decided to take a collectivo to the Belizean border where we would then walk across to the other side. There are no official taxes to pay to cross in to Belize but Guatemalan officials have started charging travellers an unofficial fee, which is now such common practice that even the guide books warn you of this and advise you to keep some local currency for it. It was safety in numbers and with our new Norwegian friends, we made for the border determined not to be ripped off. As expected,
we were met by an official asking us to cough up this unofficial tax, but he demanded double than what we were expecting. We all stood firm and with Sandy quoting the guidebook’s line about the tax being unofficial and Oystein loudly demanding that we wouldn’t give in to government corruption, we shamed the official into letting us through for free.
Feeling mighty chuffed with ourselves, we hopped in a taxi and headed to San Ignacio to start our Belize chapter.
Belize
San Ignacio
San Ignacio is the first major settlement after the border and sits on the banks of the river Macal, 35km from Belize’s capital, Belmopan. It immediately felt a world away from the Latin American countries we had visited so far, much more Caribbean, with laid-back locals and a reggae soundtrack. We spent a couple of days just hanging out, as well as trekking to the river where we swam in the clear waters. Donny and Oystein were goaded into a rope swing competition with some locals who kept shouting “White man can’t jump!” (Donny would like to note that he thinks he proved them wrong although since he does look like a
white version of Chris Eubank and Usher’s lovechild, maybe not).
Belize City & Caye Caulker
In search of sun, sea and lobster, it was off to Caye Caulker next, where Donny would be “celebrating” the big 3-0! All buses pull in to Belize City, which to be honest, apart from catching a bus to other places in the country and jumping on a water taxi to the Cayes, has little to entice the average traveller.
Caye Caulker is an island which sits on Belize’s barrier reef, and is a 45min water taxi ride away across crystal clear Caribbean waters from Belize City. The reef is the longest in the Western Hemisphere, running the entire length of the country’s coastline, and is home to a dazzling variety of marine life. Caye Caulker is the most popular for budget travellers, cheaper than neighbouring San Pedro on Ambergris Caye. It is a chilled and easy going place and with “Go Slow” and “Un-Belize-able” the most common slogans, it’s easy to see why it is perfect for backpackers and holidaymakers.
With Donny’s birthday looming darkly on the horizon we decided to go slightly upscale and swap dorm living for a
really nice double room with air-con in a hotel with a pool. With birthday fun high on Sandy’s agenda, and with it surprising low on Donny’s, Sandy was up and out early on the first day in search of an awesome way to spend D-day. Donny stayed in bed contemplating the end of his life.
The last day of Donny’s twenties came round all too quickly and to stave off the pain he was treated to an amazing Italian/Belizean meal in a restaurant aptly named Don Corleone’s. Something pretty special was needed on the day itself to stop Donny revelling in self-pity and Sandy, of course, excelled herself, arranging a customised day of snorkelling and fishing for just the two of us. Vito, our boat driver and guide for the day, took us to all the top snorkelling spots around the Caye in the morning, and we saw some incredible marine life, including green sea turtles, nurse sharks, stingrays, barracudas and a whole host of beautiful reef fish. At lunch time we had shrimp ceviche with rum punch and a bottle of Champagne (or at least the closest thing to champagne available in Belize!). In the afternoon we broke
out the fishing gear and after a slow start we soon started reeling in some decent fish for our dinner. That night we celebrated by eating our catch with the Norwegians and then hit the local reggae bar to finish the night off in style.
We were lucky enough to have arrived in Caye Caulker right at the start of lobster season and all of the restaurants were doing lobster at really cheap prices. We scoffed the little critters for the next two nights which was a brilliant bonus. Otherwise we whiled away the days snorkelling, swimming, sunbathing, eating and drinking. Not a bad life really!
Dangriga & Placencia
The weather started to turn pretty stormy eventually in Caye Caulker and that was our cue to head for pastures new, having already said goodbye to the Norwegians. We decided to head south and our first stopover was in Dangriga. We had thought it might be a good base to visit another of the Cayes, Tobacco Caye, but the weather was still pretty foul and we soon abandoned the plan. Dangriga itself was pretty uninspiring, and the only event of note was our brief late-night encounter with a
friendly ex-con who had just been released after serving time for attempted murder. We were at the quiet shoreline just outside the hostel, watching the waves, when he appeared from the sea (late night exercise we presume) and had a very friendly chat with us before wandering back off into the night.
After a night in Dangriga we continued south to Placencia, a tiny Village at the end of a long peninsula. It was a lovely place and had a real lazy island feel to it. All there was to do was relax with a rum in hand on the quiet beach all day which is exactly what we did for two or three days. We also had an unplanned second birthday celebration for Donny, after a couple of English guys we met persuaded a waitress that it was actually his birthday that day in order to get free postres (desserts). It turned into a full on party with karaoke (“Hero” by Enrique performed by Donny again) and a late night beach visit with some locals (not as dodgy as it sounds).
Belmopan
Next we set off back up north again to the nation’s capital, Belmopan. The
city was built from scratch in the 50s after Hurricane Hattie largely destroyed the former capital, Belize City. The government thought it would be safer to have the capital inland, protected from storm damage, and hoped that it would take off as a major urban hub. However the expected influx of people never came and the city is the smallest capital in the world with only 20,000 inhabitants. We stayed on the edge of the city and might as well have been in China since every shop, restaurant and hostelry was Chinese run, which was nice but very unexpected.
Like most other urban areas in Belize there was nothing to actually do in Belmopan, but nearby there is the Blue Hole National Park and St Herman’s Cave. The Blue Hole is a natural pool in a collapsed cave and St Herman’s cave is, well, a big cave. We had a great day there despite torrential rain and the highlight was a close encounter with a green-headed tree snake which had just caught a frog snack (Sandy has just about recovered).
After Belmopan, the Belize adventure was just about over and we moved on towards the Mexican border. We
had a brief stopover in the town of Orange Walk which as far as we could tell contained no bigots, and then chicken bussed it up to enter Mexico….
NB. Some photos are missing and will hopefully be up soon.
INJURIES SUSTAINED SO FAR
Donny
No. of injuries: Three (3)
1st Injury sustained: Gash to the right knee
Severity: Minor (but antiseptic wipe and large plaster required)
Location: the bedroom, Empedrado Hostel, Mendoza
Cause: collision with wooden bed board while attempting to kill a mozzie during the night
2nd Injury sustained: Cut to the right hand side of face
Severity: Minor
Location: Spider Park, Parque Machia, Villa Tunari, Bolivia
Cause: Bitten by Mickey, alpha male spider monkey, after startling him while picking up banana skins in his vicinity
3rd Injury sustained: Cut to right foot
Severity: Minor but quite deep and lots of blood and bandages
Location: Lago Izabal, Guatemala
Cause: Standing on broken glass while looking for fishing bait barefoot in a river bed
Sandy
No. of injuries: Three (3)
1st Injury sustained: Blow to top right of head
Severity: Minor (not even a bump, but loud noise made
when bumped and slight nausea felt)
Location: a long road, La Falda, Cordoba
Cause: Walked in to a stupidly low sign
2nd Injury sustained: Blow to already gammy knee, small cuts to right elbow + left heel + right big toe and big bruise on left arm
Severity: Relatively minor (knee required bandage support)
Location: on a small boat in the Atlantic Ocean
Cause: Turning too quickly while climbing up stairs to the top deck. NOT alcohol!
3rd Injury sustained: Cut to right arm
Severity: Relatively minor: 1 stitch required + anaesthetic
Location: Inti Wara Yassi, Parque Machia, Villa Tunari
Cause: Using cucumber as bait when wrestling food from tejone Louis. Louis attacked, bit Sandy, ate the cucumber AND the rest of the food
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