i've been finding myself unable to sleep through the night for the past two weeks. it is so weird. if i stay up past 9 or 930, which is always, i have trouble. last night, i think it's because i drank yerba mate and two cups of coffee after 4 or 5pm. some nights, i think it's because i have too many blankets. [before jamaica, i'd just use my down comforter, and in jamaica, i had a sheet and a small quilt. now i have a sheet, two blankets and a comfoter, but it's not my down one that i like [View Full Entry]

---

---

peace all over me: i am SO SICK from all the different & american foods i ate the past couple days on the road trip. my mom and sisters stayed up until we got home which was fabulous. [madeline tackled me as soon as i walked in the door, mom met me in the living room by the pool table, and i went in the other living room and tackled angela. then madeline told me to pick up our dog, lucie’s, puppy that angela named crackers. so cute...then i picked up lucie. i said holding crackers was the closest thing to [View Full Entry]

---

---

let me start off with this: i’m exhausted.in my heart, in my immune system, in my brain. i haven’t been away from matthew for more than a day in a long time. it was SO WEIRD not to be holding him last night. it really hit me around 9:30pm because that’s usually when he is pretty active; he baby-talks and smiles [well he smiles all the time, even when he was sick and vomitting all the time. the only time he wasn’t smiling a lot was when he was almost dead. he didn’t really move or make any facial expressions those [View Full Entry]

---

---

it is so weird to be leaving. for the last two days, i shopped for my fam and walked up and down the road through our community saying goodbye to people. my heart is so tired. and so am i. i didn't even sleep on tuesday night. i just stayed outside all night. went on the new trampoline for a little bit until the rain forced me to the front porch...i was just stuck in think mode. it is so sad that i wont be seeing faces and hearing their voices, especially all their jokes and laughter . on monday, there [View Full Entry]

---

---

neyo is standing on my lap as i write this...it's a copy of a myspace bulletin i posted a couple minutes ago... mat​the​w has​ the​ flu​, tha​t's​ wha​t's​ bee​n wro​ng!​ EVE​RYO​NE'​S bee​n pas​sin​g it aro​und​ for​ abo​ut a mon​th on thi​s who​le isl​and​ it see​ms.​..a​hhh​hh a hou​se ful​l of 40+​ kid​s pas​sin​g aro​und​ the​ bug​...​yuc&# [View Full Entry]

---

---

just to update everyone, matthew is getting better. looking a lot better, talking a lot, still really aware and making great eye contact...relying on his own hands to stare at a lot less [imagine about a month in a hospital crib and the only attention from anyone other than ants was when a nurse from the children's home or i could make it there...or a two minute bottle feed or five minute bath from the staff there] and more solid doodoos and still spitting up a lot but i think it's closer to the normal amount now...umm he's just a really [View Full Entry]

---

---

So, the Robin's Nest board decided at their recent meeting that it is now going to be mandatory for long term volunteers, like myself, to go through training before they come. This means I'm not going to be in Jamaica at the Nest from May-September after all! I'm really sad that I don't have another five months with the kids, staff and our community and the students in our small church youth group. I think God is allowing my heart to be protected though. I am going to try to visit this summer, and hopefully go to camp with the church [View Full Entry]

---

---

I know that's a really weird blog title, but my bathroom is infested with mosquitos, and I have become the queen of killing them and I was just so surprised when I saw mating mosquitos on the wall. Anyways. Matthew is home...did I write that in my last blog?...and he is doing much better. I know...I still haven't written much about him on here.n If I didn't explain it much before, I'll just tell you now that he began to die in the hospital awaiting test results proving his need for bowel obstructi [View Full Entry]

---

---

Well. I should post something about the Matthew situation...I will probably just copy and paste emails I've already written about him. I'm making falafel and hummus right now, but decided to post a lil entry while the batter was soaking. Today is a wonderfully mellow Saturday. Thank you to anyone who has donated. Sometimes, I don't know who is donating, how much, or when, so this is a general thank you to anyone who has helped with money. Please pray for everyone's health, for looming adoptions, for hospitalized Matthew...for our special needs kids [down syndrome, cerebral palsy, fetal alco [View Full Entry]

---

---

well. maybe you can't even tell when i'm rushed...and i feel like that's how i start all my emails, blog entries, and such... right now, in another browser window, i'm finally adding pictures to myspace. i'm very excited for that! haha i decided since i haven't updated very well on here, and please excuse if i word things weird...i think it's from listening to people speak patwa and talking with two year old a lot??...that i'll copy some things i jotted in my our daily bread devotional booklet margins to kind of catch up. so here it goes... January 1 day [View Full Entry]

---

---