Save the Polar Bears and End the British Occupation of Northern Ireland I’m going to take a stand for women kind today. I am now admitting, that there is a small, tinsey wincey chance that women may pooh or fart. Living within close proximity to several of them over the last two months has made me rethink my stance. I knew Shelley did, but she’s not a woman, she’s a Brelly. And we can, and do, anything we want. We made a full loop of Ireland the last few days and I am beat. Ireland isn’t that large, but a majority [View Full Entry]

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Booze Bags I enjoy beer festivals, events or any event where the soul purpose is to get wasted on an assortment of beers. I guess you could say a bar is the same thing, but bars are often filled with lonely souls, kids that shouldn’t be there and predators of both the male and female variety and very rarely are you treated to a deal or a heavy pour. A beer festival is the best event possible, because the people putting it on share the same goal as the people drinking. They just want to get us as drunk as possible [View Full Entry]

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Supple Supple is my new favorite word. Have you ever like a word so much that you use it completely out of context and definition? Like yesterday I had a home cooked meal that was so so supple and delicious. As everyone knows by now, our house is wet. It’s Florida in July swampy wet. It’s only a matter of time before a new strain of Malaria is developed in the walls of our bathroom. Spiders can’t crawl on the walls because it’s too slippery for them to get grip. There’s less water and dampness on a Panamanian boathouse. Living in [View Full Entry]

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“May I see you in heaven, 30 minutes before the devil knows you’re dead.” Kevin (the guy who looks like Benjamin Franklin and sings at our work and is mine and Tara’s favorite local bar patron) is always full of good quotes, poems and songs. I’ve been noticing how much Irish men love any form of ethnic women. If you took a 200lb Japanese woman, with rat teeth, no tits, an inverted ass and scoliosis and they would claim she was the hottest woman on earth, because she’s ethnic. But to most of them, a California woman is ethnic as well. [View Full Entry]

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Assholes, Scams, Scamming Assholes People from South Africa, as far as I can tell, are all assholes. They do however come with a positive side. They all like to get really shit housed and they love to buy people drinks. I’m one of those guys who likes people who buy me drinks. But you kind of have to assume that anyone who comes from the place that pretty much created apartheid are probably going to be drunks or assholes. They also speak this amazing drunken language, which i'm sure has never been translated and can only be spoken with your eyes [View Full Entry]

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It occurred to me that I haven't really shown everyone enough of the beauty of Ireland. You can only show so many pictures of me drinking, so here ya go. There should be another set of these by tomorrow. I want to get all my blogs caught up before we depart for Europe in 4 days. All photos are credited to Tara. [View Full Entry]

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Dirty Shoe Laces Ireland is in a mall craze. Malls are believed to be key economic boosters in cities. Currently, Galway plans to destroy 5 pubs, including the one me and Tara work at. The other is one of the oldest pubs in Galway. They also plan to destroy some other really great things like liquor stores, a small casino and a music venue. To go in their place…a mall!!!! Across the street from the new mall…the other large mall. Nothing says capitalism like a mall across the street from a mall. It’s funny because people visit Ireland to be part [View Full Entry]

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Penguins and Sharks So I mentioned a cool quote from a book Tara was reading and it’s pretty simple. In every group of penguins, when it’s time to jump into the waters, there is always a high risk of killer whales and danger, but one of those penguins always has to be first. I think I’d like to begin my life tomorrow being the first penguin in the water. I’m talking about turning into a, “yes,” man, finding Jesus under my bed or learning how do knit, but there are several new possibilities that exist within our finger tips back in [View Full Entry]

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"Dedicated to the Living Memory of Moira Penzes, She will always allow the donkey to bathe the sparrow gently" I woke up today and took a big dookie. Whiskey here seems to be the brown bottom flu and can wreak hell upon the anus the next day. As I sat on the porcelain throne praying to all my relatives past, I looked through the keyhole of the bathroom door. Now I’m not an artist and I don’t really care for art. I’d rather be beaten by a bunch of Texans in an alleyway for cheating at poker than walk around a [View Full Entry]

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A.A. is a Very Bad Acronym Think of all the A.A. acronyms. They’re all awful. 1. Alcoholic’s Anonymous 2. Adult Acne 3. All American 4. AA the Bra Size I’m sure there’s more, but I started eating beef jerkey and drinking beer and I’m no longer in a negative frame of mind. There are many dangers that exist in the world. The first two that come to mind are hen and stag parties which are the Irish versions of Bachelor and Bachelorette parties. Both are so ridiculous here that they are banned from certain pubs here because they annoy the shit [View Full Entry]

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