Last day in Thailand (sniff). A quick word about the language. They have this sound ‘ka’ ( pronounce ‘car’ ) which is said by females, with the male equivalent being ‘krap’ (pronounce ‘crap’). If you put it at the end of sentences, it makes it polite. So, “thanks” is “cap coon”. “Thank you”, polite version, is “cap coon ka” for women, and “cap coon krap” for men. It becomes a bit of a ubiquitous sound you hear everywhere, especially in the lilting way the local Thai people say it (bit whiny to our hardened, guttural Western ears). I’ve not come across a language before where you have the same phrase that is different according to whether you are male or female. (I wonder what ladyboys say?). Anyway, as you may have gathered, we’ve had a great ... read more

We’ve died and gone to Heaven. That’s the only explanation for it. We’ve died and gone to Heaven. And, I’ll tell you something. It is exactly (EXACTLY) how I imagined it would be. Exactly! Except for one thing. You still have to pay for things. (I must admit, that threw me. I wasn’t expecting that). But, apart from that, it is EXACTLY how you would expect it to be. For example: It’s warm, everywhere, all the time. It’s fertile and full of lush vegetation. When you order a drink from the bar, they bring you two of everything (and the duplicates are free). Every night, they have a beautiful sunset (yes, they have sunsets in Heaven too ). And. (This is the clincher). They have monkeys. If you think about it, of course they’d have monkeys ... read more

Looks like I've finally managed to throw off the Idli (diddly). No sign of them since leaving Kathmandu actually (but left reporting it a while as I was nervous they were just going to turn up at our hotel one night inexplicably (lary, loutish, staggering, cigarettes hanging from their Idli-lips (diddly-lips), carrying crates of Kingfisher, laughing loudly as they gatecrash our room). That's not to say there aren't any Idli (diddly) at all in Cambodia or Thailand, just that it must go on behind closed doors (Pussy Steams Idli (Diddly)). (Stop that at once - we're not in Krung Thep any more). I'll let you know if the Idli (diddly) reappear of course, but at this point in time, I am not anticipating seeing them again on this trip (except maybe on adverts for breast enhancements ... read more

WARNING This entry has been given an XXX Rating by the British Blogcasting Censorship board as it contains themes of an adult nature. People below the age of 18, or those of a nervous disposition, should skip this entry entirely. This includes, in particular, Grandmas. If this applies to you, look away now. You have been warned. I blame the Margaritas. That’s the only explanation. Well, that and the fact that you can’t come to Krung Thep and not see what all the fuss is about. So, a Margarita first for Dutch courage, then, oh OK, another quick one just before we go, and then, well perhaps just one more before we actually set of, and before we knew it, we’re in a taxi heading off into town to the Fleshpots of Krung Thep, or Patpong ... read more

Damn these Cambodian Maoist revolutionaries! Damn them to hell!! ( Did you know the Americans supported the Khmer Rouge !!!!!! Sigh. ). Anyway - phew ! The Killing Fields stuff was all a bit heavy wasn’t it ? Happily, that’s all behind Cambodia now and they’re looking to the future. One legacy that is left over from those dark times is that the majority of the populace is very young (all the older ones having been killed or driven out of the cities ). It’s as though the city is run by kids. Hotels, restaurants, tuk-tuk drivers (who swarm around you like flies – note to self, buy more tuk-tuk spray). On a lighter note, Phnom Penh also has some amazing sights to see. I’ve already mentioned Wat Omulen (that Omulen). There’s also a Wat Botom ... read more