Joe Blogs - Phnom Penh (The Lighter Side)

---

Damn these Cambodian Maoist revolutionaries!

Damn them to hell!!

( Did you know the Americans supported the Khmer Rouge !!!!!! Sigh. ).

Anyway - phew !

The Killing Fields stuff was all a bit heavy wasn’t it ? Happily, that’s all behind Cambodia now and they’re looking to the future. One legacy that is left over from those dark times is that the majority of the populace is very young (all the older ones having been killed or driven out of the cities ). It’s as though the city is run by kids. Hotels, restaurants, tuk-tuk drivers (who swarm around you like flies – note to self, buy more tuk-tuk spray).

On a lighter note, Phnom Penh also has some amazing sights to see. I’ve already mentioned Wat Omulen (that Omulen). There’s also a Wat Botom (that Botom). We actually haven’t been to see Wat Botom (that Botom) yet, and we may not. In which case, I shall just have to make do with Moi’s Botom (yes, that Botom).

Wat means temple ?

( I’m sorry, that’s not very good English is it? The proper construction of that sentence should be – “What does temple mean?”).

No, no, you no understand. Wat means temple ?

(I’m sorry, but if you insist on using an interrogative determiner such as ‘what’, then this should really be followed by a verb).

No, no, you no understand.

(I think you mean “I don’t understand”).

While they’re arguing it out, let’s take some time to look at some of the marvels Phnom Penh has to offer.

Our hotel is just round the corner from the Royal Palace (their equivalent of Buckingham palace). A beautiful set of buildings, some open to the public, some not as they are the King’s private residence – pagodas, stupas, temples, libraries and so on all set in beautiful gardens. Of particular interest is the Throne Room (which is where the King’s throne is situated – you can’t go in, or photograph the inside, just peek from the doorway) the Silver Pagoda (which has a floor made of solid silver tiles and houses an extensive arrangement of Buddha statues, including a life size one in solid gold, another Emerald Buddha, discussion rages about whether it is made of emerald or jade) and the Moon Temple (set adjacent to a public square where the king addresses the populace). The grounds also feature various stupas containing the remains of some of the previous royalty.

The lotus flower features a lot in Buddhist imagery and there are lots of lotuses (loti?) growing in the grounds. It is a symbol of purity - the roots of a lotus are in the mud, the stem grows up through the water, and the heavily scented flower lies pristinely above the water, basking in the sunlight. This pattern of growth signifies the progress of the soul from the primeval mud of materialism, through the waters of experience, and into the bright sunshine of enlightenment. According to the Buddhism, "the spirit of the best of men is spotless, like the lotus in the muddy water which does not adhere to it."

Aum Mane Padme Aum.

Ahem, sorry. Where was I ? Are yes, Phnom Penh. (Bless you).

Another site of interest is the National Museum. The building itself is beautiful and houses many relics that have come from the Angkor temple complex at Sem Reap, in particular Angkor Wat (shh, pardon, wat means temple, shh). Again, you're not allowed to take pictures inside, it contains lots of interesting statues relating to both Buddhism and Hinduism (if you remember, Angkor Wat shh, pardon, wat means temple, shh, started life as a temple to Vishnu).

Later on we visited the Russian Market, a big indoor market selling everything from souvenirs to car parts to foods. Moi insisted on buying half a kilo of mangosteens, a weird fruit that tastes delicious but has the consistency of snot (mind you, I suppose snot with a bit of palm sugar on it might be OK).

By now we’re quite knackered and want to go home and lie down, have our diapers changed and our botties powdered with talc. Just one last place – Wat Phnom (that Phnom) – a temple after which the city was named.

So, today is a chill day, which means lying around in the air conditioning until we feel strong enough to venture outside. I know that there is a tuk-tuk man waiting especially for us who really wants to take us somewhere, anywhere. I think I’ll ask him to take me to the tuk-tuk repellant spray shop (but then, I’d better wait until I get back before I use it).

Tomorrow – Bangkok.

How would I sum up Cambodia ? Perhaps some poetry:

Oh Cambodia
In particular Phnom Penh
Where are your monkeys?
They are in zoos now
Because they were being a nuisance.
And what about that twat Pol Pot?
He is dead now.
Because he was being a nuisance?
No, he was a twat.

But that is all behind you now
Opening up, like a lotus flower blooming
Sharing with the world
Your treasures like
Angkor Wat
Pardon
Angkor Wat
Pardon
Shh now
Wat means temple
Shh
Bless you Cambodia

Would we return ?

Without a doubt.

Some Random Facts

It’s not compulsory for Cambodian children to go to school. For those that do, school days are half a day long. This is because the government can’t afford to fund full time education, so school is in shifts. Some children go from 7:00am – to 11:00am, others go from 1:00pm – 5:00pm.

As we move lower down the planet, the Sun and the Moon get higher in the sky. At the moment, our co-ordinates are 11°33′N 104°55′E which means we are 11 degrees North of the equator. The ecliptic is almost vertical so the Sun and Moon go right overhead. Haven’t seen any new star constellations yet as the seeing has not been that good (mainly in cities with lots of pollution), but am expecting this to change.

Pol Pot was not his real name. Saloth Sar was his real name. Pol Pot is short for “Political Potential”. That got me to thinking what other names might mean. For example:

Gareth – Garden Ethics (someone who is concerned with the morality of mowing the lawn and weeding).

Moira – Moist Radiographer (someone who concentrates on X-raying liquids)

Nigel – Night Jellyman (someone who makes jelly, but only at night).

Philip – Philanthropic Liposuction (someone who pays for other people to have their extraneous fat surgically removed)

Tony – Leg Surgeon

Sara(h) – Sartorial Alcohol-Imbibing (Human)

Graysie – GRumpy Arsed YoboS In Extremis (self-explanatory)

And so on . . .

Post Script

I had a dream last night. Must have been all the S-21 and genocide stuff. I was in a prison, in a small cell and chained to the bed. A Chinese-looking guard came into my cell, and when he got within reach of me, I punched him as hard as I could in the face.

Meanwhile, in real life, I woke up just as I was punching the bed-side lamp, sending it flying across the room with a broken lampshade!!

Oops - good job I wasn't lying on my other side.

---

Comments

[Swami Phil]

Shame about the arse time!
It would have been really good to have talked to you while you were in this place! It seems really strange but a very interesting place to go. I am enjoying reading Mr and Mrs Bloggs. Keep up the good work ok (perhaps we can have some arse time soon?). xxxx