Cusco (Or Custard, as my mind says, secretly, every time). 3400m above sea level. The air is rarefied. It’s hard to breathe. Our eyeballs pop. Our tongues swell, become purple and choke us. Our ears bleed profusely, spraying the walls around. Confusion abounds. We faint, then die. But, after a good night’s sleep, and a couple of Paracetamol, all is well. Flying straight in from sea level to 3400m meant we had no time to acclimatise. Most people suffer from mild altitude sickness (headache, nausea, difficulty sleeping) but this generally clears up after 48 hours. We felt worse the first morning, but not too bad now (after 48 hours). Some people get it worse and have to descend to a lower altitude. Flying in from Santiago, we first landed in Lima, Peru. Didn’t look too interesting ... read more

Now then, this is a bit weird. Up until now, we’ve been travelling into the future. The further East we go, the more into the future (with respect to the UK) we go. So, in Australia, we were 11 hours ahead of the UK. We could see things that were going to happen (for a few hours at least), we knew the UK lottery numbers (did you get them?), we knew what you (in the UK) would be doing for the next 11 hours. Anyway, today, we flew from Sydney to Santiago (Chile). Overall, the journey took 17 hours. It was in two legs, Sydney to Auckland, New Zealand (about 4 hours) then, after a couple of hours break, Auckland to Santiago, Chile (about 11 hours). That nice man at Trailfinders suggested we should stay a ... read more

Sydney - at last. The drive up from Melbourne was fantastic. Really green all the way. Rich, lush forest all the way down to a beautiful blue sea. What a beautiful place Australia is. Sydney itself seems a really nice city. Nice, big shiny skyscrapers. Clean. Vibrant. Lots of beautiful people. It's split up into districts with familiar names such as Paddington, Kings Cross, Haymarket and Woolloomooloo, the first three clearly named after areas in London, the latter clearly named after the noise of breaking wind in the bath. We’re staying in a really nice apart-hotel (it’s a hotel, apart from the fact that you have your own kitchen), just 10 minutes walk from Sydney Opera House. We only had a couple of hours before we had to leave to go to the opera (yes, well, ... read more

How many times have you thought “If only I lived somewhere that has sun, sea, its own blowhole and a live jazz/blues festival every year” ? I think I might have just found the ideal place for you – Kiama, 100 miles south of Sydney. Of course, I am aware that everyone has their own blowhole, some more active than others (and some with more than one!) so what’s the big deal? Well, this blowhole belongs to everyone and it’s huge (mmm, I suppose that could be said of other blowholes too). On top of that, add a live jazz music festival, and you’ve got it made. Live jazz noodling out of every restaurant and café, day and night. It’s hard to put it into words. Perhaps some poetry: Noodle Doodle Nibbly noo. Scabba-dab-a-dibbly Yabba-dabba-doo. Another ... read more

(Cough. Cough. Splutter) Where am I? What day is it? Who are you? (Splutter. Splutter. Cough.) Wednesday !?! Honest ?!? Crikey – better crack on. What’s the difference between a wallaby and a kangaroo? (Here we go, go on then). No really, I’m asking you, we don’t know. They say size - kangaroos can grow up to 1.8m, wallabies can grow up to about 1m - but, for medium sized animals, how do you know whether you’re looking at a small kangaroo, or a large wallaby?!? (Does it really matter?) (Pause) Last day in Melbourne and it’s time to pick up the car. Plan is to drive up the coast to Sydney over the next five days. Bit of argy-bargy in the car rental while we upgrade (we’ve got none left - but I rang and ... read more