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Published: March 10th 2010
Hello ladies and fellow penis owners (F.P.O's)
Quite alot has happened since I've been on last, I DID get really I'll as some of you are already aware and I probably DID deserve that too. I wont go into too much detail but put it this way, ''I Elliott Mills will never eat chicken again until I get back to the UK''. I reinvented shitpissing. For 4 days.
That is all I have to say about that.
We've spent the last week or so in Goa, North around Anjuna was nice, quite refreshing to see some fellow Westerners about. They are all moody as f*ck though. It seems everyone does keep themselves to themselves out here. We're now in Palolem which is a REALLY cool place. Nice beach, we've been Kayaking, Surfing, eating all kinds of fish - Kingfish, Red Snapper, Baby Shark etc. Face Face and I are quite brown and quite burnt too.
A few other things that have happened.
-Elephant Festival (Beauty pageant, football - Yes Elephants playing football. Oh dear)
-I missed Holi Festival for reasons above (The aftermath was brilliant though, for most men it's the one time of the year
they have a drink, you can imagine naked confused men in the streets the next morning)
-4 year old child tells me to wear a condom (Arranged marriage what?)
-There are Russians everywhere (And they are all moody jacked up body builder bald freaky humans, with blonde haired women who look like they have been deep fat fried - Actually theres a massive one next to me n.......)
-Riding a 'Ped' at night (Sketchy, trying to avoid, potholes, cows, dogs, humans and other vehicles with their lights off!)
-We caught Indian men taking photo's of Face Face from afar, trying to line people up for family shots but actually taking photo's of her (these were deleted and reminded me of the time me and Longy caught a peadophile in France - Hairy stuff)
Not as many points as before I know I will leave you with the current Mills V Face Face score. 2-1 to me of course. Me being I'll of course levelled matters but something brilliant happened in Mapusa - Goa.
We had breakfast in a cafe in Anjuna and decided to ride to the city. I got pulled over and issued a fine/ticket for riding
without license and suchlike, 550Rupee fine (about 6 quid) and then was given permission to continue riding for the next 24 hours. When we got to the city, the waiter from the cafe was at the post office, recognised Laura and said the following:
''Hey look, its porridge girl!!''
The people reading this will understand and will endevour to make sure this sticks. Porridge girl is now eating fruit salads instead.
So from me and porridge girl.
Speak soon!! xx
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anonymous
non-member comment
LEGENDS!! LOVE YOU xx