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Published: June 12th 2011
Kangding
White peaksI would like to share with you something I think every backpacker has experienced, and experienced a multiple of times. Indeed if you are still on the road you are experiencing it as we speak. It is the standard conversation between two random traveller's anywhere in the world.
Perhaps the only traveller's out there who might not know about it are those true adventurers, the unique ones who go to far off the beaten track places every time they are on the road and don't actually meet any other traveller and don't care to meet them either. But I am not talking about them of course, I am referring to the standard backpacker, to which I humbly submit myself. I am one of them and thus what I will write should not be taken as criticism, I talk the talk, like everyone else. The dude abides to the golden rule of traveller's talk.
So what are the golden rules? How do we approach each other? Well it is all about questions, and just as important, the sequence of the questions, because there is a particular sequence to it. Below I will expound those questions in the right order, after
Kangding
View from Kangding from my hostel that I will highlight some of them with examples.
• Where do you come from?
• How long have you been here?
• How long have you been travelling?
• Where have you been/which countries have you visited?
• Where are you going next?
• How long will you still be travelling?
• What do you do at home?
You might notice that actually introducing yourself is mostly not important. Only if you have met somebody for a day or so do you ask (and forget immediately) what their name is. Most people are simply known by their country. Also age isn't asked about, unless you really get to know somebody intimately.
Each of these questions in turn can be expanded upon and indeed often will be.
There is one more important rule to all these questions, it is appropriate and even expected to cut off whoever is answering the question and tell about your own experiences and give your opinion on the matter. The questions only real significance is that they lead to you being able to talk about yourself and tell about your travels. No one really cares what the other person thinks or has
Kanding to Xiangcheng
On the way to the top of the first pass done, they are just being polite.
So let's start with the first question.
Where do you come from? I will give you an example of how this can question can be expanded and how it can be turned to good use to tell about yourself.
Backpacker:
'Where do you come from?' Me:
'From Holland.' Backpacker:
'Oh, from Amsterdam?' Me:
'No, sorry, from some small village in the east of the...' (here the answer will be cut off by the other in order to tell about himself)
Backpacker:
'I have been to Amsterdam. I love the place. I went there for a weekend, can't remember anything, except the coffee-shops and the red-light district. Man you have some beautiful women there. And everybody cycles. I really love the Dutch.' As you can see the question was only raised as a pretext.
The next question I will highlight is:
How many countries have you visited? Backpacker:
'How many countries have you visited?' Me:
'A few' Backpacker:
'I have been to (choose any random number and insert).' Me:
'Impressive' Backpacker:
'Yeah, I especially like this and this country. You know the people there are so friendly and it is so cheap. Kanding to Xiangcheng
Stupa at the top of the first pass Have you been?'
Me:
'No' Backpacker:
'You should really go, you are missing out if you don't' Again the question was a prelude to what the backpacker wanted to tell me about his travels. There is an alternative slightly longer option as well. It will get inserted after telling how many countries I have been to, let's say I tell that I have been to 20 countries.
Backpacker:
'Which is your favourite country?' Me:
'Vatican City' Backpacker:
'Oh realy, well my favourite country is so and so.' From here on the conversation follows a similar course as above.
Just as side note, I only decided a couple of days ago that Vatican City is my favourite country. Why? At this point I should tell all good Catholics to avert their eyes and pray for my soul.
First of all it is the smallest country on the planet, secondly everybody living there wears period clothing, it is populated solely by men who all wear long dresses, except for the men who guard them who wear colourful puffy pants with puffy sleeves. You would think that a country full of cross-dressing men would be quite tolerant of gay's, but on
Kanding to Xiangcheng
On the other side of the pass the whole they are homo-phobic and anti-sex as a whole. Finally they seem to be stuck in some kind of time-warp, with antiquated ideas dating from the Middle-Ages. In short the country is an anomaly and you gotta love anomalies!
As you can see, even in this blog I am just using the whole thing as a pretext to telling about me and my opinions, like the true backpacker I am. By the way if you didn't avert your eyes and are now offended, I appologize, but I warned you! You may take comfort in the fact that I will be burning in hell for eternity.
Now after a while you get into this routine of answering those questions, but it can become a bit tedious as well. A way to make things more exciting is to lie about your country of origin, preferably naming some outrageous country. Some people say they are from Zimbabwe (you know who you are), others prefer telling they are from San Marino. It works marvelously at times.
I am going to highlight one more question because it is the one which is the most tiring for me in the end. Not
only do I have to go through the same drill of where I come from and how many countries I have visited but when asked about my profession I have a whole avalanche of similar questions thrown over me once again, to which I have to answer in the same way over and over again. To avoid ever having to answer these questions again I am going to put them in full here.
Backpacker:
'What do you do?' Me:
'I do clinical trials in London.' Backpacker:
'What? Me:
'I am a human guinea pig, they test new medicine on me.' Backpacker:
'Wow! That is the first time I have met anybody doing that. Have you had any side-effects?' Me:
'No, because I am very careful. I know what I am taking. I am never in the first test group because you don't get paid more for being the first. Before you are allowed to participate in a trial they give you a full medical check-up during which they will also supply you with all the information about the drug you will be testing. It will tell you the side effects on animal tests, on previous human volunteers under which dosage etc. etc.. I will only take a trial in which the side-effect are not more serious then nausea, fatigue and head-ache because it basically means there are no real side-effects'
Backpacker:
'How much do you earn?' Me:
'You get paid per day that you are in the clinic, it averages about 150 pounds a day, sometimes more, sometimes less.' Backpacker:
'So you are stuck in the clinic the whole time?' Me:
'Yes, but if you want you can find trials where you only come to get dosed, but they pay less. More importantly, since I do my trials in London I want to be in the clinic because it saves money, I don't have to pay for accommodation and food.' Backpacker:
'Amazing, can I do a trial as well?' Me:
'Yes, as long as you are of average health you can participate.' Try imagining having to go over this story about a hundred times a month and you know what I mean when I told you I get tired of it.
Finally for those of you who wish to know what I have actually been up to these last ten days, I will give you a short
summery of my route. From Chengdu I went to Kangding in the mountains, then a direct bus to Xiangcheng taking in some of the most stunning scenery in China. I only stayed long enough in Xiangcheng to get a bus to Shangri-La, not that it looked like an unpleasant town, it just happened that way. Shangri-La is a bit of misnomer, as it is nothing like the Shangri-La in the book, it is just a tourist trap. I did however manage to catch a horse festival and the hostel was rather cozy too. Next up was Tiger Leaping Gorge where I took in some more superb scenery, but didn't see any tigers leaping, so rather dissapointed in that. Lijiang I won't even mention because it is a horrid tourist sham, and now I am in Dali where I cycled along the lake and got rained on a lot. Basically I have taken the backpacker trail, which fits in nicely with the theme of this blog.
All this writing has made me thirsty, it is time for a beer and a conversation, I am heading of to the lounge area...
'So where are you from?'...
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EdVallance
Edward Adrian-Vallance
Awesome blog
fascinating blog, original and honest. The first one of this year which will stick in my mind until the time for blog of the year nominations!