TouristTim

So I came home... the trip that took me 768days to get from the Lebanon to Thailand via the Caucasus, Central Asia, passing over the High Pamirs into China and down into South East Asia. A wonderful little trip that took about 18hrs to reverse... sigh! A plan had formed many moons ago that I would be sailing the Pacific and circumnavigating the world and many whom I travelled with may have heard me boasting of my plan. Especially those North and South Americans who I had promised to visit on the way home. To these people I apologize. I realised that there are a few things of greater importance in life than a jaunt. My face reddens to think that I even considered continuing. I returned par avion to London but not before one massive ... read more

And now for another round of my cathartic text babble. All around the world, the white man is a special beast that has its own special name. Some polite, some less so, but whatever they are it’s evidence of the obvious divide that is felt between the two half populations of the world. A handful I can think of are Gringo(Mexico), Mzungu(East Africa), Waiguoren(China) and here in Laos it’s Falang. It directly translates as French, due to its colonial past, and it stuck for all of us non-Asian rich types. You see the reality is that instead of choosing to classify us all together, we are simply the same to them! We come, we spend, we leave, sometimes we smile and other times we shout, but at the end of the day we are gone and ... read more

Obviously by the sheer lateness of this blog you will be thinking really he doesn’t want to talk about it. But the real reason is that I have been touched by lethargia and felt no inspiration to write, but it's back now. A month or so ago I went to Vietnam, and it was some real good fun with Mikeal, my German friend with whom I toured the Mekong Delta. We had no guide book only a road map with some tourist spots marked on. Alas, the map producer was a bit overly keen on splashing these symbols about. Outstanding natural beauty = Leading us to a Beach made of sharp boulders with a crashing pacific storm spraying us while we took a Milk Coffee – equivalent to a couple of espressos mixed with condensed milk ... read more

Hello everyone, care to sing a long for my birthday... see the video! As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I take a scratch at my bites, and realise there's more on my chest. 'Cuz I've been slappin' and eaten so long that. Even my mama thinks that my mind is gone. But I ain't never killed a mossie that didn't deserve it. Me be treated with deet, you now that's unheard of. You'd better watch who you're biting and where you flyin’ . Or you and your homie might be crushed red. I really hate to slap but I gotta brawl. As they fall I see my hands in a bloody sprawl..., FOOL. I’m the kind of g that little ‘quitoes hate to see. Like armed with a racket fryin’ mossies ... read more

Hello everyone, Let us discuss what this day (Christmas Day) is all about. For some, presents, others Church and for one such lunatic I happen to have lived with in the past, he decides to celebrate this day as his birthday! This crazy mo-fo, has single-handedly sent me more words in emails over my travels than all my other social mail combined! And this blog can be considered a big-up shout out to my main man back in the White Lands of Albion. Many ask and many more are perplexed by the attitude of distant and timely travelling pursuits. One such fellow would be the aforementioned honourable fellow. And this blog will try and answer this question. In a typical manner of his to regale me with the latest papers(scientific not tabloidal) he once stated... "Why ... read more