Cairo

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Well I can safely say it did not take long to swing back into travel action after touching down in Cairo late Thursday night. My plane was an hour late, and there was evidently some mix-up with my ride from the airport. What kind of mix-up? Nobody showed up. I was extremely tired. For some reason after getting my watch back in Zanzibar the alarm no longer wakes me up. It has to be the quietest alarm on earth. So in fear of missing my flight, I basically just didn't sleep the night before. After finally landing in Cairo I was on little sleep and consequently out of patience with the guys at the airport trying to sell me a cab, a shuttle or whatever.

I finally folded though since I had no other way downtown. There was a hotel recommended to me and I even had a reservation. My theory is the hotel thought I would be there at 11:30 am and not 11:30pm but that's just a theory. The whole ride into town the cab driver kept preaching about how dirty this hotel was. I just knew he was trying to manipulate me into going to some hotel he would suggest and adamantly refused to get dropped off anyplace but the Desert Safari Hotel. We got there and hiked up 5 stories to the "hotel". I seriously couldn't believe how disgusting it was. It certainly wasn't the worst place I've stayed, but truth be told, crappy places in really big crowded cities are worst in many ways than crappy places in rural places. It is indeed a different kind of crappy but crappy nonetheless. At this point there's no choice, its 1:30 AM and I don't even have a book or the name of another hotel. I asked them why they didn't pick me up from the airport and the guy apologized and said he thought I was there at 6am the next day. Weird. I asked him if he had my reservation he said yeah, and found me a bed. The mattress was slashed and countless unidentifiable stains littered what was left of it. He quickly covered it with a sheet. Looking around this room it was about 300 square feet and had maybe 10 beds. All filled with Japanese guys passed out with all their clothes on. So odd. Then there was one guy who suspiciously resembled a young Baron Harkonen crossed with a Steven Baldwin. This guy was sleeping on garbage bags in the smallest pair of underwear I've ever seen. Maybe it just looked smaller because of his size. Thankfully I didn't have to sleep all that near him. Finally by about 2am I got into bed. No place to put my stuff I slept with my day pack as my pillow and passed out. I was then up at 4am to see the Baron staring at me from his bed chain smoking cigarettes. No clue what language he even spoke but I think he might have been a mute. AT 4:30 I went to sit in their "lobby" which was just a mildewy room where I sat staring at the wall sweating until about 7:00am when it was light enough to go outside and explore. Cairo is so hot it's hard to even explain. Picture walking around in microwave full of garbage running at power level 10. I had no water left after the day traveling into town so sitting in the lobby dehydrating my body was sure wonderful. The bathroom in this place resembled a shit swamp.

Getting back to the hotel, I went back to the room to try and sleep some more but the Baron's gas prevented any success. The toilettes were flooding into my room from across the hall so I had to put my bag onto my bed. I forgot to mention our room didn't even have traditional windows but just these holes with rebar poking out into the alley below. I'm confused as to how Jord and Penner both stayed in this place. Anyways, out wandering around I met this tout guy and we started chatting. I was pretty edgy the night before after no sleep and it didn't do me any favors at the airport so I thought instead of going back to face the hotel I'd chat with this guy on the street. He suggested another hotel so we went there. We talked some more and he said he'd take me to the pyramids and stuff. I took him up on his offer and it turned out great. I got a new hotel after paying about a dollar for the nights stay at the crappy place (at least it was cheap). After talking to the tout he said the place I was at the night before was actually "The Desert Hotel" not the "Desert Safari Hotel" or something like that. Damn, that explains it. I'm at his hotel now and it's actually really nice and it's like $4.50 a night so that's good.

He has a good proposition for the pyramids. First we stop at some office and he helps me forge documents for a student card thus allowing me to the museum and all sorts of other sights for like half the price. So that's handy. Then he got me out to the pyramids and onto a Camel where we circumnavigated the main entrance into this hole in the fence where some kind of Cairo park police was bribed to let us in. It seems the cops don't get paid nearly enough and want their cut from the rich tourists. It was a bit of a dodgy tour having to avoid any kind of official then basically fleeing on camels anytime other cops showed up, but even when we were approached by the other "officers" they'd just argue in Arabic and we'd leave after everyone spit on the ground in anger.

Riding the camel was fun; it was a lot like a horse except with hydraulic legs vaguely resembling and Imperial Walker with hair. The saddle is way bigger and you can easily hang stuff off it and sit sideways or cross legged on top. This didn't help me however in the fine balancing act that was between my skinless, raw tailbone and pounded nuts (so long fellas). Because the saddle is bigger you slide up and down in it causing what essentially amounts to a rug burn. The camel was very cool though, I didn't realize until I saw one that they are probably a dozen hands taller than your average horse. I couldn't figure out if they wore shoes because the guy doesn't speak the greatest English. Either way, their feet are sort of like fleshy pancakes that engulf the sand and seem to be more efficient than the horses hoof. That, and of course they can last 10 times longer in the desert.

The trot up to and around the pyramids was fun, the ruins themselves were about what I expected. It's a shame the pyramids are essentially next to if not within the city of Giza. It's hard to even notice where Cairo turns into Giza and I wouldn't have known at all unless I was told that the Nile separates the two. The facts surrounding the creation of the pyramids are amazing. However, it's sad to see the amount of litter in the area and one might even confuse the desert floor with that of a landfill. I had a great time though and even brought some beers to drink on my Camel. The first was cold, the second was the equivalent of room temperature back home and the third was like hot soup. My guide gave me some interesting facts but for the most part difficult to understand. Occasionally I'd attempt to ask him something like: "So do the camels where shoes like a horse?" at which point he would respond with: "Yest e camels are like wumen, you must hit to get it move". There were several such explanations of that sort.

The guy who owned the stables was an awesome. He had several enormous Arabian horses that he said I could just take out into the Desert for an hourly price, so I think I'll probably do that. He has horses from $3 an hour to $100 an hour depending on what I want to ride. Not sure exactly what I'll do yet but it sounds like it would be fun. After that they made me lunch and we had all kinds of tea and shesha in the alley beside the stables with all the camel handlers. Initially I impressed them all with the volume of hot sauce I poured on my food after their harsh warnings, but that all fell apart when the shesha pipe came out as my virgin lungs were subsequently pummeled to death by all the 10 pack a day filterless cigarette smokers. That and whatever this so called shesha stuff is made me higher than a kite. Maybe it was the heat or the tea but after standing up I almost collapsed to all their amusement. Good times anyhow. After that it was off to the Papyrus paper mill place that really just pissed me off as it was a really smooth yet irritating attempt to sell artwork. The papyrus paintings are really awesome, but from what I can tell (at least at this place) they were more or less stamped or printed somehow. As much as I wanted to buy one I managed to decline and went away even happier with my earlier purchases with the Zanzibar art I bought last month. After that it was over to the perfume factory where I was actually quite impressed. They had glass blowers who made tiny intricate perfume bottles of all shapes and sizes with no two alike. The different essences and ingredients to make all the perfumes, aromatherapy liquids and body oils were all awesome. These guys grow all the different flowers and stuff out near an oasis then flatten and drain them into the essence for sale to all the hot shot perfume and cologne companies.

I ate dinner on the street and enjoyed the company of an Egyptian nerd. We had a pleasant conversation bout .NET 2.0 and consequently the only real work related discussion I've held in months. Additionally I want to announce that all Jords claims as to the difficulties with basics such as "reading", "writing" or simply put: "communicating" here are all true. Arabic looks much like the Klingon hieroglyphic symbols you see glowing red in Star Trek and are impossible to read no matter how hard I try. I can't even seem to pronounce or remember the word for "thank you" and thus insult everyone in site with my constant use of backwards English. Attempts at hand signals after remember how much communication relies on body language have no advantage either. While my insanely good charade skills should have balanced out my lack of Arabic I'm afraid that's not the case at all. In fact the more I think of it, the more I believe my hand signals are all wrong and likely disgust the locals. Encounters with people begin well with smiles and handshakes but fall apart immediately after that when either awkward silence or English ensue from my end, and awkward silence or Arabic from the other.

In the meantime I can say its been busy in Cairo and tomorrow I'm off to Oasis Bahariyya and to explore the Black Desert and the White Desert. The plan after that is to visit Luxor, Aswan and some sights in the south.

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Photos

The "I've been to the pyramids" shot
Even with the hat thing I still burnt my nose and of course any other exposed skin. Sweltering heat even with the occasional breeze was quite the experience

So Dizzy
No clue what really happened, but lets just say I was far worse for the wear. I knew I should have smoked cigarettes all these years in order to avoid ridicule.

Desert in the Raw
Out in the distance you can see a camel rider going somewhere I certainly don't want to end up.

Cairo Street Market
A surprisingly wide variety of produce! The EF guys must be looking at this in awe!

The Pyramids
The 3 biggest of the 9. Seen through the thick smog blanketing the site.

Crappy Hotel Washroom
I'm not going to claim my time spent in there really helped make it any cleaner, but it wasn't exactly picturesque to begin with either. Imagine the worst bathroom on earth with the heat cranked to 50 degrees. This one bathroom was for about 30 people.

The ride
I either never knew, or forgot that camels knelt for their riders in such a pleasant way. I never was able to confirm from my guide whether it was a boy or girl, and anytime I wasn't onboard, it was crouched down and thus impossible to check.

Water Vendor on a Donkey
Awkward best explains it.

Display
Poultices, potions, lotions, oils, ointments, balms, perfumes and scents from Egypt. Enough to make any prince envious.

Comments

[nolan]

camel jockey
Creepy Hotel.....Jason Man this just get's better and better. Your life right now would be a good movie. cheers

[Miss Sia]

H! Jason!!!!!!
Hi Jason! I was reading your TravelBlog ......... i`m very happy and love it a lot. I enjoying the details of your adventures it`s fantastic. Every thing on it is so wonderfully.......... Great and nice pictures...your photo are ever amazing!!!!!!!!!! I think you remember the Tanzanians greeting .......Jambo? Habari yako? I wish you a good look ...safe and enjoy the rest of your trip. Keep in touch.......cheers!

[Charlie C]

Nostalgia
Every time I have time to...well...look at the pictures of your blogs I see you doing most of what we were doing only weeks before. Good to see you're still going, Team Commonwealth Member.