Supergirl & Scubasteve do Costa Rica

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25th Sept...
You guessed it, ANOTHER early flight and wake up call but I can smell the 5 star luxury that awaits so spring into action and make our way to the airport. A near miss at Guarryil airport SSSPPPAAAZZZ (superWill takes over and gets us there) and we safely board the flight to San Jose 'do you know the way to San Jose? lallllaaaa la aa laaaa la alaa' happy happy happy! Even though we touchdown at 5.30pm its pitch black outside on the San Jose tarmac. The hotel is more than we could have dreamed for, buts its a no go zone outside, along with the rest of San Jose its advised to stay indoors after the sunsets which much lead to a very grim life? Unless you're a vampire (Will). Our rooftop room is straight out of the orient express and looks out to the open air jaccuzis waiting for us to divebomb into WOW WOW WOW!!! Can we claim squatters rights and live here forvever, who cares about the sunset curfew we never want to leave anyway! Will lets rip the 27 airplane farts he's been holding back, in the jacuzzis and as the bubbles rise we slush it out 😊 After a quick photoshoot for OK magazine in room lush we eat an exquisate dinner at the hotel, and WILL EATS CHOCOLATE!!!! Let that go on the record please! Bedtime is heaven in a bed made for 10, but somehow karate kid still manages to punch me in his sleep...

26th Sept...
After a heartbreaking farewell to hotel lush, we make our way to a private airfield, were our private charter flight awaits! Shes a 5 seater propeller beauty with a ginge gay pilot who falls in love with Will immediaely. I cease to exist (in fact I'm sure he'd have preferred me to be tied to the wing outside). Will rides shotgun and the pilot grabs the opportunity to give him headphones for their own 'private' conversation as his hands more closer to Wills knee, he talks him through full throttle and hard long sticks. The flight is unbeleiveable with an amazing sense of being in the open air with full panaromic views. Ginge gives Will his long stick and you can feel the lust in the air! Will flies the plane for a couple of minutes 'yes thats right, pull back hard and up' the ginge slobbers as the plane veers up and down, Will oblivious to the shameless flirting...or is he??? Its a 30min air flight, rather than 6 hours on land and we are met and driven a further hour to our paradise resort Florblanca. It only has 12 villas all set in monkey swinging, lizard walking jungle right on the vast beach. The villas are all open air meaning NO WALLS, aside from the bedroom and its goregous times a million. We cruise down the 5 mile beach with its huge waves and grin as the white wash covers the sand like silk and chases our toes. The sun is beaming down ahhhhhhh its truly perfect with my perfect boyfriend SLUSH!!!! I wash away the trekking grime completely in the spa, before a sleep with the howling monkeys????

27th Sept...
The relaxation bliss doesnt last long since action man drags us for what is to become our daily 7am jog down the beach, have you tried running in sand?? It feels like running on the spot and as action man speeds ahead I'm dying for a fag and a cuppa 😊 Action man books us adventure day on the quad bikes, zipline canopy trail, and waterfall hike up a gorge. The roads (there are none basically) are like a rollercoaster with zillions of treacherous holes and dips, and as action man and guide testostorone power ahead I'm working out were the GO button is fiddling with my helmet strap eating their dust. After a very bumpy ride we reach the start of the zipwire canopy in the dense jungle and get harnessed up. Yes, the fear sets in again as I peer over the tops of the 70 metre trees as I prepare to swing 500 metres across them knowing I'm bound to stop halfway across dangling for my life. The rule is dont break apparently...great, so I'll just power into a tree then? I take a deep breath and think its now or never as I plummet through the air no brakes GGGGEERRRRONNNOMOOOO!!! Did IT!!! Only another 25 lines to go...shit. Tarzan does upside down and back to front (of course) and when we finally climb back down to the ground my legs shake for the rest of the day. We hike up the gorge clinging to the tree roots and hop across the rocks and refresh in the 1st waterfall, before hiking steeper up to the next waterfall when then falls into the 1st. The 2nd fall is arond 12 metres high and as we prepare to jump down the waterfall, the fear grips...WILL!! I jump on the opportunity to squash the pathetic scuba wimp out incident, and push him aside and run towards to the edge, my stomach feels sick and legs wobble I jump so far off the rock high and fast and fall down down down into the swell! It feels like a lifetime to reach the surface of the water as it slaps my feet! I cheshire cat smile underwater I DID IT!!! Will is at the top with the guide speechless and as I climb triumphantly back up the rock face, he claims I was 'too quick' for a photo, whatever!! SUPERGIRL RULES!!! 1-1!!! Sleep is filled with the howling monkeys.... they must die!

28th Sept...
After another brisk jog down the beach we settle into an action packed Chelle day...sun lounger patrol, book, cocktails, malboro lights and tanning...all day long hooooray!!! The sun is fierce, Santa Theresa is really remote and lies at latitude 10 so even trhough the wispy clouds the heat is strong. The beach is amazing, but the tide hides many rocks and the high waves are strong so its not safe to swim in the fast currents the pacific sweeps in, but a little further down, its rock free and the waves easily reach 10 feet and are lined with the surf dudes riding the curls. Its surf central paradise and as they kick back in the sand smoking the day away its idllyic. My tan lines have created perfect illumionous head light and we sup the bloody marys and chilli vodka infused salsa bravos YUUUM!! Heaven! A late afternoon couple massage at the spa and it feels a million miles away from the shady backstreet massage we enjoyed in Cusco. Our aching muscles releived we eat a feast of fresh sushi and fish at the hotel evaluating the guests.. rich old pimps with their young influential mistresses we figure 😊 A few honeymooners from hell want to make best friends with us but we give them the cold British shoulder. These people are just too smiley and eager to become 'buddies'. Sod off and go enjoy your honeymoon and be indulged in each other and stop interupting my dessert! The night is spent listening to howling monkeys AGAIN and I wonder what a nice coat one would make as I snuggle into Wills overgrown chest wig.

29th Sept...
Oh how I love these 7am runs! Its raining and it makes the run a lot easier suprisingly, as its easier to stay cool. Lynford Christie powers ahead, lunging, squatting, jumping, sprinting, side hopping...for christs sake give it a break will you!!! I plod behind beetroot faced and gasping for air as I stumble in the soft sand jumping the waves. Yoga next, the hotel supplies free yoga lessons and I persuade the fitness junkie to have a go (except it doesnt take any persuasion, he's dying to get some tight yoga pants on) As we move from pose to pose, its almost like being back in the waterfall, before realising its just Wills pouring beads of sweat from every skin surface. The show off in the class (fat pimps mistress) exceeds each pose and as the teacher tells us to look inside ourselves and see your inner soul, I wonder if the show off looks inside herself as she lets the old fat rich guy hump her every night to enjoy her material world he gives her? I look at my perfect Will and know that 've won any yoga competition with her and I smile inside myself 😊 We hire some quads again for a wander around the island, but after a heated confused purchase of phone cards and bank calling plus a TMO situation, we opt for seperate ways and I call into Grandad and Jenbob for some TLC. Conversation is cut short and I'm devastated with no credits left or cash so I ride out to the hills on my own crusade thinking of home and all the people I love. I find myself on a secluded beach and gather my thoughts before coming home to accept the grovelling and sorry massage. I need my mummy though, and I'm suddenly overwhelmed with loneliness as I count the many species of insects and spiders now living in our villa.

30th Sept...
Will heads out for a scuba dive across 3 islands and I'm left to a day of thoughts. I call into my bitches Posh, lit Hel and Brian on the $50 a second room phone and feel instantly better and loved! Mummy and Daisy dont answer and I'm still stringing out... 😞 Terrential rain keeps me hostage in the villa, so I catch up on reading. 'Saving fish from drowing' about travellers being kidnapped by a tribe in Burma, brilliant...wonder if there are any tribes around here that could do me a favour? Cigarettes smoked are nearing the thousands, and I snooze the day away. Dinner and a game of pool at funky monkey and many more cigarettes and a whole lot more rain before a debate on a film showing is 'Carletos way' when the tv guide says its 'Traffic', put the wacky backy down Will and build that bridge again.

1st Oct...
MORE rain as we head out for our joyful morning run and jump through the waves, could this get any harder? A thousand dogs jump at our heels eager to play and I must admit it feels GOOD man! Another sweaty yoga session leaves a spiritual taste in our mouths and as the rain pounds harder the perfect boyfriend sets up the bedroom into our own little massage parlour and he gets to work on my tender muscles and I drift into a deep sleep not waking until dinner. My greed graves pizza as we watch the delivery guy drop pizzas for the staff but I stay on track with some leek soup...? Mmmmm what would you prefer??

2nd Oct...
As my feet pound the sand yet again I wonder how many pizzas all this jogging will surely earn? The sun shines bright so we take advantage and hit the beach before the monsoon hits again. We've adopted a dog called Sienna, the cutest chocolate labrador who keeps us busy throwing sticks all day and chasing her up and down the beach and into the sea.

MORE BLOG TO FOLLOW.....

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