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Published: October 15th 2008
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21st Sept...
An early morning wake up call and an even more confusing time at the airport puts us in great moods, but as we come into land over the hundreds of scattered islands we perk up psying the suprise $200 airport tax 😊 Its a coach, ferry and car ride to our oceranfront hotel and we are greeted by a dozen giant pelicans and a handful of marine iguanas basking in the sun, just all hanging out at the pool! Hotel Solymar is set right on the ocean front with perfect views of the sea, different species of birds divebombing for fish. Sealions bark and play in the waves as the fishermen park up, the iguanas take a splash to cool off. Its a scene better than any David Attenburgh discovery channel marathon sunday watching. After a quick wander into town we opt to chill at the pool with the marine wildlife. The hotel are preparing a photoshoot for a newspaper and their new brochure, and spotting Wills model looks and dancing pecks ask us if we will pose for the shoot! Before I even get to respond, Will has baby oiled up and macho superdived into the pool flexing
his bod for the cameras hahahah! Some scraps of fish lure some sealions into the pool with us and we swim around as they dart between our legs, the pelicans surrounding us as the photographer snaps away at Wills killer smile and hairy chest. I cant explain how cool it was WE SWAM WITH SEALIONS! I'M A MODEL! haaaaaaa we book some scuba and the panic sets in at bedtime as I think about the sharks sleeping... waiting....
22nd Sept...
My eyes open in fear at the once amazing David Attenburgh discovery channel heaven ocean, is now a dark shark filled, tititanic swell nightmare to hell. I will surely be eaten I just know it, or suffocate, one of them is my destiny. Scubasteve is excited beyond belief and I wonder if supergirl can really pull this scuba dive off without fainting underwater when the sharks pounce. Breathe... dont want boyfriend to think you're pathetic... The ocean is really choppy and as we make our way out through the bigger waves, the swells rock the tiny boat uncontrollably and I thank the pack of travel sick pills I ate along with the valium (ok not the valium, but only
cos I didnt have any). The anchor goes down and the boat jerks violently against the waves. I blink and scubasteve is kitted himself up and blackflipped into the deep waters. Fear takes over and the spaz tears topple as the instructor tries to calmy explain whats going happen... 'MEEchell.. breeve.. we go down.. breeve.. we take off mask.. breeve.. we put mask on.. breeve.. we go down more.. breeve'. No no no no no no as my flippers hit the water, cant breeve, cant go down, sharks will get me, get back in boat, feel pathetic 😞 Scubasteve and instructor do dive without spaz, and I kick myself when I spot the sealions they got to play with underwater. We make a stop on an island and see packs of iguanas everywhere, and then unexpectedly in calm lagoon about 30 SHARKS!!!!!! All sleeping dreaming of MEEchell!!! I stupidly opt for snorkelling on dive 2, as sharks obviously dont attack splashing objects on the water surface...doh! I survive somehow with all limbs but a damaged ego 😞 We jump a water taxi for dinner which cruises in and out of the hundreds of stay on dive boats, and eat overlooking
the water as we listening to the tinkle of the boats rocking. I have serious sea wobble legs and Wills bum is speaking spanglish so we head back happy to be alive.
23rd Sept...
Another early morning pick up for our island hopping day. The ferry takes 3hrs and we ride shotgun front deck as the huge black prehistoric gulls glide an arms distance above over heads with the speed of the boat, its so soothing. Bartholmue Island is a massive volcanoe and 'mein freuer' (our ridiculous guide) quickly annoys Will, by telling him he cant have a snack. I ask him not to be rude and just ignore her. As we start the climb (did I mention everyone on the tour is over 100?) Will asks 'so how high is this?' mein freuer replies 'I vill anser at ze top' we frown in amusement and continue past her snail pace. 'Erm you vust vemain behind ze guide'. My blood pumps to my special vein..'Er no its OK we'll just walk up at our own pace thanks!' I say (cos we dont need a bloody zimmer frame to get up). 'NEEE ZET VEHIND ZE GUIDE!' I camly but firmly
tell her ' You get in front of me then! I'm on a trip to enjoy myself not to be spoken to like a school child!' Will giggles, fucking bitch! She immediately halts the whole group and informs us of 'ze rules!' Whateeeeever, teh otehr guide joins us and tells us we can walk up without her HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! We leave her a message in the sand halfway up in massive letters for her to clearly to see reading COW! 😊 At the top the view is breathtaking and rivals Whitsundays, its so blue and smooth with an assortment of fallen giant larva mounds jutting out of the sea. The afternoon is spent snorkelling (more shark fear as a white tip is spotted) and chilling with some sleeping sealions on the beach who nearly bit my hand off when I tried to stroke him! A penguin sunbathes on a rock and we wonder where else in the world can you see such a mix of animals its madness! The boat back is treacherous and scubasteve rides shotgun as the waves crash over the boat and I cling to the back fearing for my life and avoiding watching the codgers vom everywhere.
I'm now sporting really classy short tan lines on my burnt thighs... why why why didnt I use factor!!!
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