Friends

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If there is one thing I have learned from my experiences, it is that we all need friends. They are there to give us advice when a big decision comes up. They help us see things that we cannot from our perspective. And they are there when we are at our lowest point. Unfortunately, if there is one thing I am good at, it is not trusting and being open to those who call me friend, especially when I need them most.

There are so many areas in my life where the shoulder of a friend was needed yet I ignored it for some other reason. Instead of friendship, I allowed rage as a teenager to inspire me to run away across the country instead of down the road to open hearts. Instead of friendship, I allowed stubborness to guide my decision when the counsel of others felt I was losing my way. Instead of friendship, I allowed guilt to lead me to a marriage everyone close to me discouraged that ended horribly and only hurt a lot of people along the way. Instead of friendship, I allowed shame to take me down a destructive path of pain and anguish that almost led me to death. My life is something I would not take back for a minute and I have learned a lot through my decisions along the way, but probably the biggest lesson of all is that God gives us fellowship to sharpen each other at the deepest level; absolute vulnerability leads to true happiness.

Since taking that leap off the ferry that cold and lonely night, honesty has flowed from my soul to those willing to support and love me. It has probably been the most reassuring feeling in the world knowing that I do not have to build myself up but that it is fellowship with others that really does the job. My spirit has been lifted higher than I can remember in a long time. And it sure does feel good having all the encouragement that I have had to go out on my spiritual journey that most men would be scared to follow.

Sure, part of me will be a loner who wants to tackle challenges by myself, but I know overall that it is misguided and unwise to do so. For anyone, the counsel of people we trust will always get us going in the best direction possible. It is like asking fellow students to review a major writing assignment to ensure you are communicating effectively before turning it in for a grade, except that it affects your life as a whole instead of just a class. And for someone who does experience challenges with mental illness, friendship keeps us on level ground so that we do not stray into dangerous territory. While I will physically be alone for most of my travels, I will share them with the world knowing many are with me in spirit.

To all my friends I have once betrayed, I am truly sorry. My stubborness has settled down and I no longer allow guilt and shame to hold me in chains. My heart is now open to your wisdom.

"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." - Proverbs 27:17

"HAPPINESS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED" - An epiphany of Chris McCandless as he was dying alone in Alaska

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