An idiot goes to Paris

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Today was my first full day in Paris. To get acquainted with the city I decided to take a free walking tour. The tour started down at the St. Michel Fountain near the Notre Dame Cathedral. The walk down was about 2 ½ miles and was conducted by an Aussie ex pat. I figured that would be a nice way to see another part of the city. The walk was well worth it as the scents of freshly baked breads and pastries filled the air. Parisians sat in cafes, sipping coffee and eating the baked goods and quiche. I was surprised at the number of runners out for some morning exercise.

We started at the St. Michel Fountain and were able to see the Notre Dame Cathedral in the nearby distance. While walking westward along the River Seine our guide showed us various Parisian intricacies (like some of the only WWII bullet holes in the city) and took us through a brief overview of French and Parisian history. When we reached the Institute de France, where French scholars meet to discuss the incorporation of words into the official French language, our guide told us how they would take months to discuss how to rename English named items with ugly names (like the computer) and the gender of certain items (like the iPod).

We turned around, crossed a bridge and there before our eyes was the Louvre. We went onto the Louvre’s grounds, seeing the building along with the Great Pyramid. After a walk across the street through the Palais Royale and the Royal Gardens, we headed back down towards the Louvre and into the Jarden des Tuileries. At the end of the garden, I got my first glimpse of the Eiffel Tower off in the distance. Much closer was an original Obelisk dedicated to Ramses II, which was brought to Paris from Egypt.

At this point, we were by the entry to Champs Elysees, the grand boulevard which leads to the Arc de Triomphe. Walking up the tree lined boulevard, we reached our final stop at the Petit Palais. In the distance to the south, we could see the Hotel des Invalides, a former mental institution.

Once the tour concluded, I continued up the Champs Elysees towards the Arc de Triomphe. I was surprised just how long a walk this was. It seemed to take forever. I noticed a sign on the side showing some sort of running event next weekend. Unfortunately I’ll have left by then.

When I finally got there, the Arc was overwhelming. It was built in Napoleon’s time as a glorious gateway for him and his soldiers to return from battle. Had the men actually made it back victorious from what ended up being a failed campaign, it certainly would have been quite the spectacle for the soldiers.

I crossed under the walkway to get to the Arc. While there, I saw the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and a host of minis with British men driving around the turning circle that surrounds the Arc and honking their horns.

On my walk back I had a chocolate crepe along Champs Elysees. It was good but after so many people built them up, it was a bit underwhelming.

I continued my walk back, through the Louvre and finally reached my destination - the Notre Dame Cathedral. I took a free unguided tour around the inside of the Cathedral. After seeing a number of Cathedrals over the past few years, this one ranks up there in size but certainly not in opulence. Other than the stained glass along the north and south walls it was a bit of a letdown.

From there I had a long walk back to the hostel to get cleaned up for the evening.
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Tonight I was going to try some French food. As it was getting late and I still had plans for later, I figured the best bet was to stay near the hostel. After all, I had seen plenty of nearby brasseries in the area the night before.

I found one that was opened and looked at the menu posted on the outer wall. It was all in French. I figured I could at least decipher some of the food names since I love food and am familiar with a lot of dishes. No such luck. Well, no big deal. I eat anything as it is. Worst case I point to something. Worst case - ha!

I walked in and was greeted with a bounsoir (good evening). I returned the greeting. I was prepped well. Some French jibberish followed. No response; deer caught in the headlights look. Parlevous English? Yes sir. Good.

The waiter showed me to a table by the windows. Well, actually he showed me to an area and mumbled something. I went to sit at one table. Wrong! This one, monsieur.

I take my seat and he hands me a menu in French. I look at it like it’s the Rosetta Stone. He brings me an English menu. I’m still clueless. Okay, beef. That sounds good. He recommends a mixed plate with beef, ham and cheese. That sounds even better.

I also order a red wine. He asks me small or large. I say large. I can drink a carafe; I’d like more than a glass.

Moments later, he comes back with a basket of bread, a bowl of salted peanuts and an entire bottle of wine. This is interesting. I wonder if it’s like La Mela in NY where they bring a whole bottle then only charge you for an estimate of what you drank. Yeah right. This is going to get out of hand. After opening it and pouring me a sip to taste, and my approval, he poured me a full glass.

While he went back to the kitchen, I tasted some wine and looked around the restaurant. It was fairly empty. Only one other family was in the place and they were having after dinner drinks. A couple arrived and took the table where I first tried to sit. He wore some jeans with patches all over. Oooo, maybe more stupid Americans. Nope, they spoke fluent French.

About five minutes later, my meal came out. The waiter plopped a wooden cutting board in front of me, complete with a grove towards the perimeter. On it was a meat that looked like steak tartare, cured ham and cheese. He started naming the items in French. He could have told me that I was dining on fecal matter - I wouldn’t have known any better. As he was doing this, he turned on a small grill that was connected to the side of the table. Each table had such a grill. He placed a piece of the steak on it and lightly sprinkled it with a seasoning mix that looked like oregano. Next to it, in a tiny square fry pan, he placed a piece of cheese, then on top a piece of ham then another piece of cheese.

He cooks my meal at the table. Sweet.

Oh wait; he cooks each piece and then I eat? Awkward.

He departs the table.

Wait, I cook? This keeps getting better and better.

Three sauces were placed on the table. On the left side of the cutting board was a baked potato, split in half, with a spoon protruding from the center. I go to pick up the spoon and the steak knife and fork fall off the cutting board, banging against the table and each other. At this point I question my sanity and my intelligence. I knew it was going to be bad since I don’t speak more than five French words. It was even worse - I didn’t even know how to eat!

I proceeded to cook my steak, ham and cheese as the waiter had demonstrated. The whole time I downed the wine. That was one thing I was comfortable with. At least everything tasted delicious.

After I finished my main course, he brought a dessert menu. While I didn’t really need dessert, at this point he could have sold me just about anything and I would have agreed. I again was clueless so I had him recommend something. He suggested an alcohol soaked sorbet. That’s what I need, more booze. I accepted.

He brought it to me quickly. In it were a metallic-looking spoon which was actually made of plastic and a straw. I deserve this. I clearly have the intelligence of a four year old.

The dessert was mediocre although I can usually take or leave sorbet. So this was no different than any other. The fact that it was laced with a tequila-like alcohol didn’t help. I refused to use the straw out of spite.

The bill came and I paid it with ease. At least I can count. I guess it’s that left brain thing.

Through it all, I have to compliment the waiter. While the French are notorious for disliking Americans, even if they are appropriately prepared for the experience, my waiter was kind, patient and as helpful as he could be.

The final event of the night was to go see the Eiffel Tower. I took the subway down, navigating it perfectly with multiple train changes and a walk from the final stop to the entrance. I feel much better about my navigation skills than my lingual skills.

I went up to the second level, as high as we could go at night. The views overlooking the city were breathtaking. As I looked around, captivated by the lights below, I wondered why this view was so miraculous. I’ve been in plenty of tall buildings at night, overlooking more lights and many more recognizable structures that were equally as stunning at night. Perhaps it’s the allure of the structure. Or the spirit of grandeur that fills the air in such a great city. But most likely I was just caught up in the moment like the millions of others who have seen this before. Whatever the reason, it was a wonderful experience. I didn’t come down until the Eiffel Tower closed.

After a late night tonight, tomorrow I follow it up with a lot more touring, including the Louvre at 9:00 am.

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Photos

The Glass Pyramid
The Glass Pyramid is a very recognizable, relatively recent addition to the Louvre.

Champs Elysees
This tree lined boulevard boasts a park walkway, cafes and retail shops that lead the way to the Arc de Triomphe.

Arc de Triomphe
Napoleon built the Arc de Triomphe for a grand and victorious return from battle. He did not realize that dream.

Crepe
My chocolate crepe.

French dinner
My partially eaten meal.

Cooking my food
The grill with the small fry pan used to cook my dinner.

Eiffel Tower
My view of the Eiffel Tower on the way there.