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The last few weeks have been flying by. I am not sure if it is because the year is coming to an end or if it's that everyone has had trips back home. Annie, Katie and Charles have all went home and came back. It's been weird not having the whole group around. Someone has always been missing for the last three weeks. Charles will be back tomorrow, but Leigh Anne will be in Roatan with her family next weekend and Annie will again be in the States.
I have been thinking a lot about how much I have changed as a person since I have been here. This experience has truly opened my eyes in a way I never dreamed of. There is so much that I have learned about myself, as well as others in the six months I've been here. I have become a stronger person and I have done things that I never imagined. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought of half of the things that have happened since my arrival. They may seem like small things to others, but to me, they aren't.
There are too many things to be able to list all of them. But here the things that I can think of off the top of my head that I know cross my mind all of the time. They are in no particular order and as I mentioned before, they may mean nothing to some, but to me, they do.
Things that I am very proud of (even though I probably shouldn't be):
I no longer run frantically from bees or cockroaches
Kids wipe their sweat all over me and I don't freak out
I see my students do some pretty nasty things in class, yet I still let them come near me
I put my hands in very gross places, like dirty sinks and don't gag
I can now walk by people peeing and vomiting and not even flinch
Strange people touch my hair (and other areas unfortunately) and again, I don't even flinch
People cough, sneeze and blow their nose while I am eating...and I continue eating
I've cleaned up puke on my students desks twice, without gloves and again, I didn't gag
I have broken into my hotel, gone through the barbed wire and escaped with minor injuries
Walking by people carrying large rifles and machetes and not even noticing anymore
Things I still can't get used to:
The countless dogs that roam the street looking for food
The small children begging for money
Walking by the same homeless people everyday and checking to see if they are breathing
The dog that was left dead in the middle of the street with a hot pink rope attached to it's leg
That barbed wire and bars are absolutely everywhere
The absolutely awful showers that seem to be everywhere
The incredible amount of trash strewn about
My heart breaking every time I see someone throw even more garbage on the street
Things that have changed me as a person
The friends that I have met here
Swimming in the ocean and loving it
Snorkeling in the middle of the Caribbean Sea, swimming with fish even though I am terrified of them
My students
Seeing how others live and no longer taking for granted what I have back home
Visiting one of the Garifuna Villages and watching them dance, play drums and sing. It truly opened my soul.
Realizing that water isn't as plentiful and easily accessible to everyone like it is back home
I am really starting to look forward to going home. I leave in one month. My flight is on June 24th and I can't wait. But in a way, I'm also very sad to be leaving. Honduras has become my home very quickly. I can't wait to see my friends and family back home, but I am also sad that my friends here will be gone and won't be coming back. They have made this experience complete for me.
There is one thing I can't help but be excited about. I can go home and get better. For a person who never get sick, Honduras has raked me over the coals. it's not their fault, but those little germ factories I work with are killing me. I was fine for a few months when I arrived and then I caught one cold two months ago and it has been downhill ever since. My last two months have been horrible. 8 weeks ago a cold, 7 weeks ago a flu, 6 weeks ago a flu, 5 weeks ago a flu, 4 weeks ago a flu, 3 weeks ago Pink Eye and my favourite...the last two weeks. I thought it was just a cold, but is has now morphed into something completely gross. I sound like an 89 year old smoker on his death bed, trying to light his last smoke. I say 'his' because that's exactly what I sound like. A man. Sometimes throughout the day, I lose my voice for a few hours, or my favourite, I start squeaking. I have a fever that never lets up and this new fun rash has just started all over my body. I couldn't be doing better, really. I am heading to the doctor's tomorrow because they want to me to get tested for Scarlet Fever. The name scared me when I first heard it, but I looked it up online and I now know that I will survive. That's always great news. Needless to say, I definitely need to get back home and get away from these germ factories to recover.
The thing that really doesn't help with this sickness is the heat. I can't get away from it. The whole bus ride home I was looking forward to coming home and getting naked and lying in front of my fan. My fan had a different plan, of course. I turned it on and it made this high pitched screaming noise as if someone was being murdered. I was so upset that my fan broke that I almost cried. I knew there were other broken fans in the downstairs bathroom so I went to work. Our new roommate Ana and I took apart two fans and tried to make one out of it. She was very inventive actually. The end result was a fan that had a blade being held together with a plastic bag and tape. I happily took my newly working ghetto fan up to my room and turned it on. It felt amazing to have a breeze on me, I was in heaven. That lasted about ten minutes before the fan decided to attack me. I heard a weird noise and I should've known what was about to happen. But it all happened too fast. It all started falling apart and flying at me. Luckily, I survived and wasn't injured, but it came pretty close. Last night was the worst sleep I have ever had. Not only am I one big snot bubble, I was a snot bubble drenched in sweat. Tonight I decided to have one more round with my original fan. I figured since it was already broken what would be the harm in beating it up. Surprisingly, all it needed was a serious smack down. I stood there while the fan was screaming for like ten minutes and I kicked and hit the fan so hard that I beat it into submission. I am now happily writing this blog with hot, humid air blowing on me. The smallest things thrill me these days apparently.
This morning on the way to school I wasn't sure if the world was coming to an end. The streets looked as though they came straight out of Revelations in the Bible. Instead of Locusts, there were thousands of flying bugs. Not just any bugs, these looked like ants with wings, on steroids. They were everywhere! When the rainy season had just begun there were thousands of smaller flying creatures and I couldn't figure out what they were either. Karen, the other Grade 1 teacher clarified it for me today. Apparently that first batch of flying bugs were male Termites. They fly, then lose their wings, crawl around eating wood and waiting around. Today's steroid looking ants were the female Termites. They come to mate with the males, lay eggs and then die. Quite a life I am sure. I had no idea Termites looked like this. I pictured them as tiny little black bugs that you can barely see. Well, that image has now been shattered forever. They really do build them big in Honduras, first the Terminator Cockroaches and now these massive Termites. I guess the bright side is that it wasn't the end of the world. The downside though, is that I have had Termites flying at me and crawling on me all day.
I can't believe that class is over in two days. This really saddens me. Although my kids drive me up the wall some days, I love them to pieces. I feel like I am losing 25 little people who have changed my life. there have been many ups and downs, but I will carry those memories with me forever. I wonder who they will become when they get older. I hope that all of them have the most amazing lives ever, they deserve nothing less. I know that life in Honduras in never easy, but I hope that it gets better for them. I hope that I have taught them things that are important and will remain with them. I want them to remember me as the teacher who would break out into a dance just because it would make them smile. I want Elmer to know that Dyslexia isn't the end of the world and that he can be anything he wants to. I want Andrea to become a famous Honduran writer. I want Golvin and Ivis to continue making people laugh and love with their whole hearts. All of my students have given me something to remember, I just hope that I have done that for them also.
I wrote all of my students letters the other day and I'm going to give them to them on Wednesday. I want each of them to know what being their teacher has meant to me. They have made me remember what it is like to love without worry and to look at the world in a different way. I will take that with me and try to remember that no matter where I end up years from now.
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lyette
non-member comment
your comming home
well i am happy that your comming home, but now you will no longer be able to get Julie to come over and take out the sink plug, no screaming when something wizzes by your head and you run for dear life knocking over small children (only to realize its a fly) ( no really mom it was a bee)............ you will now swim in Canatara beach and not worry about fish, or big fat muskees in the North..............wow this is gonna be a great summer..........oh and you can BBQ.yeah Janet.............