It was only after a trip to Tripoli that I felt like I’d finally seen Lebanon as a country living its daily life. What I saw was an old city whose crumbling buildings seemed to be held together only by a web of crisscrossing power lines. I saw a vibrant market where people haggled over the price of zaatar. And I saw a country still plagued by the vestiges of war – bullet-riddled walls with pictures of martyrs smiling down, armed tanks on the corners, and, everywhere, evidence of corruption. I was lucky to have a Lebanese woman, Amani, traveling with me to translate and to laugh over Lebanon’s idiosyncrasies. We arrived in the middle of Tripoli’s main street, tired from the journey, and walked into a café thick with men and smoke. It’s hard to ... read more

I never thought I’d go so far as to say that Roman ruins are boring, but as I walked past a handful of teetering columns on a street in Jbail (I couldn’t bring myself to pay to see them from a closer vantage point), I realized that, to me, that’s just what they are: boring. I used to feel awe next to the marble megaliths. I used to feel small. Now, I feel nothing. The only stirring within me is one that approximates irritation. I’m bothered because I feel like I should be impressed and that my lack of reverence reveals me as an uncultured ingrate. But I am thankful to the Roman Empire for the advances it brought to modern civilization, such as the alphabet and the sewage system. I only ask why they had ... read more

I love finding my people all over the world. There’s such a peaceful, welcoming feeling when I’m sitting in a living room with people I’ve just met, listening to music, sharing stories and laughing. I’m in Beirut, but I could be anywhere in the world, with any group of like-minded people. The more I travel, the more places I go and people I meet, the more I realize that we’re all the same. I don’t mean to depreciate the eccentricities that make you you, but we’re all the same. We have different standards of personal hygiene, eat different foods and pray to different gods, but we’re all the same. We all feel hungry and need to eat; we all feel blue and need to dance; we all feel hurt and need to love. We’re in no ... read more

It was with a heavy, yet beautifully unburdened heart that I boarded a plane that would carry me away from Istanbul – a place that was beginning to feel like home. I knew the side streets and shortcuts, where to find the best tahinli and cheapest tea. I’d built a small community of friends and established a routine of sorts. But rested and empty, it was time to see something new. The destination was Beirut and the company was unexpected. A spunky young Canadian teaching English in Istanbul, Ada, and I had found the same cheap flight to Beirut and the same person to host us there. The only thing of note on our short flight to Beirut was the screening of the pre-fight safety video. I normally block out the seatbelt fastening instructions, but Pegasus ... read more

After two months, I’m finally saying goodbye to Turkey (the country, not the delicious meat). I would like to stay longer, but I can hear India beckoning to me like a mother announcing Christmas dinner – and so many roads lie between here and there. My time in Turkey has made me a more well-rounded person, both figuratively and literally. Figuratively, I’ve rounded out my cultural repertoire with another country’s customs, foods and language (even if it is only a few handfuls of phrases). And literally, I’m more round, especially around the mid- and hind-sections. As the guest, I’ve been required to finish any food left on any table and, no matter how much my stomach protests, my mouth can do nothing but eat more bread. I would hate to be rude. The past two months ... read more

Something happened to me in that church on that island. A key turned in a chamber deep within my heart, a chamber that I didn’t even know existed, let alone had reinforced with heat-treated steel and mortise locksets. I cried for my nephew, not knowing that I was crying for myself, for the little girl inside of me. People always tell me that I’m strong, but I’m not. I’m tough, and used to doing things my own way, but I’m not strong. I never had anyone teach me how to be strong. The strength people see when they look at me is only a mask. I’ve worn it for years, but it’s finally worn-out. All it took was someone to see through its cracks to the insecurities below; someone who told me it was okay to ... read more

Every morning I wake up with a thousand reasons to be thankful – a thousand and one when it’s sunny. I’m thankful to be alive and healthy. I’m thankful to trust and inspire trust in others. I’m thankful for happiness and for the bitterness that has made it so sweet. I’m thankful for lessons learned and lessons taught. I’m thankful for the beauty that surrounds me. I’m thankful for everyone and everything that fills my heart with more love everyday. Giving thanks is part of my daily ritual and Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Thanksgiving is more than a celebration of thankfulness. It’s a celebration of gluttony, of good food and good company. Nothing brings me more pleasure than bringing friends and family together over a sumptuous meal that I’ve poured my love into. For this ... read more