I went to my fourth or fifth Dali museum today in Tokyo (as I have at least been to the ones in Florida, London, and Paris as well as possibly one more in the US). I felt really sophisticated as I felt like many of the people there knew next to nothing of my beloved Dali. Afterwards I went to a half okay restaurant for ramen and tempura and then to the bookstore. Unfortuantely I think I need to train myself not to read the comic books as I am reading one a day and at this rate I will read a couple series by the time I leave Japan. I really enjoyed them though. I bought two more comic books and then got my stuff fromt he hotel to go to the station in Nagoya. ... read more

Have not written in a while as I have been travelling with my parents. Have been missing Cam as usual now that it has turned out they can not let him travel to Japan for one reason or another. Have been trying to teach myself how to deal with my feelings for him on another more controlled level as I:ve come to learn that what Shina said when I told her even in a good mood Cam managed to drive me crazy, her comment was "he always does that" and it is true. I love Cam but I do not want to drive him or myself crazy by not keeping those feelings under control. Have been taking care of my parents - or doing my best to under the circumstances of travelling (which are extremely difficult ... read more

Sometimes we just need to cry. I am glad I was brought up comfortable enough to do it. It is a natural emotion for us humans - although I am not sure how natural it is for any other animal. I think one of the worst things we can do to ourselves is deny ourselves of the natural. Think about it, is smoking natural? No and it denies ourselves of good health. Try denying yourself the ability to go to the bathroom or eating or sleeping for a long time and see how great you feel. Relationships are strange things sometimes "Is he your Beijing boyfriend?" "No dad, Cam is my boy I only have one." "You are allowed more, one in each province." This was the conversation I had with my dad when he first ... read more

Sometimes I do nothing but think of my boy. No one seems to be able to shake me from him, no matter who I meet. It is a strange feeling. Today I went to a lot of famous places and part of my mind kept thinking about the pictures of him in those places with his parents. Every now and then something occupies my mind long enough to stop me from seeing him in front of me but then he pops up out of the corners from the most unexpected places. I am never surprised when he calls cause I feel like I am right next to him. Nights here are hard on me now staying in a hotel room all by myself not doing much but wishing I was sitting watching him at the Salon ... read more

An interesting day to spurt a little seed. I was woken by "ai" (literally "aunt" - Cam's mom) waking me up to get some clothes out of my room, she said not to worry I could go back to sleep but I'd already half woken up. Almost immediately after I opened my book to start reading there was a phone call. Turned out it was Wan Tao (Sayles' Chinese name) calling to invite me and Cam's parents over for the day. I was told to get ready and then Sayles arrived long enough for me to put my shoes on and take off again on their motorcycle leading the way for us. Ai had brought a case of Bai jiu which I thought nothing of until we got really close to their house and she told ... read more

I woke up today and knew I was in China but for some reason it took me a while to snap myself into the customs here. I was stuck in Indian mode. Last night before I arrived here I sent Craig a text saying I didn't know how to touch the feet of a Chinese woman. This morning when I woke there were a ton of people out my window and grandma came to get me awake. It was 7am. I walked downstairs and did Namaste to everyone before I could correct myself and politely say "Ni Hao". They stared for a bit before going away. At the time I had the advantage of not knowing what they were saying - they would have stayed much longer had I been able to communicate with them. I ... read more

Last night with the help of 2 new friends I checked into a really fancy hotel for $15 a night - pretty steep compared to what I've been paying. I got into the room at 3am as we'd gotten off the train at 2:30am. It took me a little while to get to sleep. Right before I did at around 4am I got scared awake by someone with the key coming in except that I'd dead bolted it. Turned out they'd been given the same room as me and with a call back to the maid I was apologized to and left alone. Very strange again. I'm half expecting someone to come in again. My legs are itching from the leech bites - I have 28 of them. I'm giong to have to get some medicine ... read more

I had a really strange dream last night. First off mom and dad came to China and then mom started getting her hair done some place that wasn't L-Salon and I told her we were going to see Cam soon and to please wait but she wouldn't. There were a whole bunch of really strange tests following that for me and in the end I kind of went berserk and insisted on knowing what was going on. They finally told me it was a test of abilities that would make you stronger and after seeing a list I agreed to do them and continued. Very strange.... read more

I suppose maybe Michael's right. Maybe if I go back to the US it would be the same. Being a hairdresser here people sometimes treat you as if you're on the same level as a janitor. So I get strange reactions when I tell people Cam is a hairdresser. As I told Michael I think he's doing a lot better than I am. He has goals, knows what he wants to do and is good at getting money. Today was a lazy day. I slept most of the day as there's little much else to do. There's a really cute little girl staying in our compartment. Her grandmother has pretty strict control over her and is constantly yelling at her - something I don't think I would be comfortable doing and teaches them very little. She ... read more

Last night I had to go to sleep before writing. I was the only one awake in a dormitory of 9 other Chinese girls. Now it's 7:30am and they are all already awake and gone. I sat bolt upright now as one of them turned on the overhead light. I thought it was the afteroon. I'm glad to know I haven't slept the day away. I haven't had time to clean my clothes yet but I'll take a shower and at least change my shirt. Tonight I'm to be on a train for 20 hours so I'll be close to Cam's home sometime tomorrow. I wish he were there but he's not. It'll probably make life with his family easier that he's not there though. It's K's birthday today and I'm on the train while they're ... read more