Published: November 7th 2006October 13th 2006
Sometimes I do nothing but think of my boy. No one seems to be able to shake me from him, no matter who I meet. It is a strange feeling. Today I went to a lot of famous places and part of my mind kept thinking about the pictures of him in those places with his parents. Every now and then something occupies my mind long enough to stop me from seeing him in front of me but then he pops up out of the corners from the most unexpected places. I am never surprised when he calls cause I feel like I am right next to him. Nights here are hard on me now staying in a hotel room all by myself not doing much but wishing I was sitting watching him at the Salon or eating barbecue with him next to me or out having a drink or dancing with him, it would take a bolt of lightning to strike him from my head.
I could go on about Cam forever but I should be telling you what I did today with my parents. We went to see Tianament na dI helped the tourguide carry the wheelchair while a boy in training carried her over the many places iwth steps till she did not want to be carried any more. Then we went to lunch at the same park I first came to alone back in September and ate the normal Chinese tour food - really shoddy in my opinion. After lunch we got to see how they make silk in a silk factory and bought me a silk dress - hopefully the boy will like it as it is for him. I need some shoes to go with it though. It was probably a bit on the too expensive side but he will like it. Then we went to the Summer Palace and walked around the beautiful gardens next to the lake - a beautiful man-made one. We then went to some cheesy pearl shop before taking the long way back to the hotel - dad and the boy both fell asleep the traffic was so heavy. At dinner we decided to take the hotel's wheelchair to try it instead of the one my parents have since they forgot to bring the feet holders, BIG mistake. We didn't make it too far before figuring out it was completely finished. We still decided to go to dinner with it at a Guandong restaurant. We had veggies, noodles and jiao-zi as dad and I continued to laugh at his trying his best to use chopsticks. I have to admit he was trying and I was trying to teach him - but failing. The host of the restaurant - trying to help - ended up teaching me how to cut noodles (a fancy trick) with chopsticks. After dinner we went to the foreign language bookstore which has an extremley poor selection of books and practically no other language books either - 2 bookcases of Russian, 6 of French and the rest are Chinese or English with about 6 total Spanish books and 2 or 3 Italian or German. Once we got water (finally) I pshed mom back to the hotel until I got blisters and decided to get her other wheelchair to go the rest of the way.
I just had a very strange dream in which I practically got booed off the stage as the headof youth camp and Lucy was cheered to take my place. Angel told me int he end that maybe it had not been the right time to come back and try to teach. Very strange and a little disconcerting.