My last post spoke of Sevillan shit-stained sidewalks, sanitation sorrows, sodomizing Senoras (that is to say, Senoras who sodomize, not the act of sodomizing any particular Senora…Vincent…), sumptuous 90’s sing-along songs, Spanish semantics, spontaneous Scottish sprees, and supper-table shame. All alliteration aside, for some reason or another it turned out to be an excrement heavy entry. Perhaps I view the world with shit colored glasses (these days, I’m not even sure what color that would be…), but whatever the reason, I seem to be inextricably linked with bathroom goings-on. I have recently contracted a bit of stomach sickness. I find myself entering the bathroom these days with what I call an anti-Jellybean mentality; upset when I get red, orange, or yellow, and elated with the blacks and browns. I spend more time in the bathroom than ... read more

In the spirit of love and lovers and the mysterious Saint Valentine, whose day we most recently memorialized by depositing superfluous amounts of money directly into Hallmarks bank account (actually those singing cards that play songs like 'Let's get it on' and other erotic love ballads when you open them are kind of awesome), I will begin with a poem that I wish to send to a special some one I met on Valentine's Day: A Promise to You on Valentine's Day "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Because you robbed me on Valentine's Day, I'm going to murder you." Striking in it's brevity I think. But yes, it is true - I got robbed. I guess I sort of set myself up for it when I made a solemn promise before I left that there ... read more

Obviously the primary reason I came to Spain is to learn Spanish and in the process of learning a language one must obnoxiously and publicly reference a dictionary as often as possible. This has proven far more entertaining than I could have ever imagined. Easily my favorite term I have seen so far, found by my roommate David, is actually an English one. Here we go: “Full Blown AIDS”. Not just half-ass Phase 1 or 2 AIDS and certainly not HIV; this is DEFCON 5 do-not-resuscitate Full Blown AIDS. More than anything though, I find it kind of irresponsible of the authors to include this term and others like it. I can’t say I’ve ever heard it used before, especially not by a doctor and definitely not colloquially. I think the pandemic of AIDS sort of ... read more

I have arrived, and I think Sevilla knew I was coming. I say this because right around 2:30 it is custom to eat a dinner-like lunch (or do we eat a lunch-like dinner…?) and then nap like a contented panda cub until 5 pm. It’s fantastic. It’s as if the entire culture has been preparing for my arrival by adapting to my schedule…the lion has finally found his jungle. The arrival process itself proved to be more complicated than anticipated. Originally I was supposed to have booked a flight from Madrid to Sevilla, but naturally that didn’t happen so I had no transportation directly to Sevilla the day of departure. I ended up missing my first connecting flight and got re-booked on what I thought was a more convenient flight that put me in Madrid directly ... read more

Alright, so this really is the last one. Miraflores and Puno are drastically different, so I didn't want to blow anyones mind with too sudden of a transition, therefore this post exists. Here we go... From Puno I took a bus in the morning to Arequipa (not as memorable as the last ride, which is a very good thing). When I arrived in Arequipa I immediately booked another bus leaving at 4:30, destination Lima. Before I say what I'm about to say, I need to clarify some things. At this point in the trip, I had no money left. For the past few days actually, I barely had any money and had been doing some hardcore budgeting in my head. My calculations concluded that I could only spend rougly $17 a day for the rest of ... read more