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Published: January 28th 2013
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That's it. I'm home. From the wilds of Torres del Paine to Gatwick Airport in the space of five days - quick stops in Santiago and Madrid on the way back do little to ease the shock of finding myself back home after so long away. People around me are speaking English. Toilet paper can be flushed. The shower is always hot. I can choose from a variety of clothes. There are vegetables on my plate.
This is going to take some getting used to.
There have been highs - literally and figuratively. There have been lows. Ecstatic times (many). Stressful times (a few). It's been hot. It's been cold. It's been sunny. It's been wet. Planes, trains, boats and buses (oh, there have been buses). We've hiked, we've climbed, we've tobogganed, we've glacier-walked, we've rafted, we've canyoned, we've ridden, we've paraglided. We've been exhilarated, scared, tired, relaxed...but never, ever,
ever bored.
It would be completely impossible to pick out a favourite place. We've done and seen too much for that. The best we can do is a top five - and even that exludes dozens of places we will remember fondly for ever.
The Stats:
Length: 443 days.
Distance travelled: anybody's guess. Thirty, forty, fifty thousand kilometres?
Countries: 9 - Argentina, Uruguay, Paraguay, Chile, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia, Brazil.
Highest point: summit of Cotopaxi, Ecuador - 5,897 metres.
Furthest north: Santa Marta, Colombia - 11°N.
Furthest south: Puerto Williams, Chile - 55°S.
Furthest east: Olinda, Brazil - 35°W.
Furthest west: Puerto López, Ecuador - 81°W.
Nights spent on buses: 13. In Argentina, delightful. In Bolivia, the stuff of nightmares.
Nights spent on trains: 2. Both in Bolivia - surprisingly swish!
Nights spent under canvas: 46 - more than one out of every 10 nights I've spent in South America!
Nights spent in airports: 1. Lima. Not pleasant.
Cockroaches in bedrooms: about 10 - that we spotted. Splendidly low figure. None lived to tell the tale.
Strangest food: grilled spreadeagled guinea-pig, Colombia
Crimes suffered: 1 (fifteen bucks nicked from my pocket in Chiclayo's witches market - hats off to the skilful so-and-so who did it)
Hours spent on buses: I don't even want to
think about that
Best bus journey: down the Carretera Austral from Coyhaique to Villa O'Higgins.
Worst bus journey: Tupiza to Tarija, Bolivia. Bearable only thanks to Xanax.
Best toilet: open air, at the foot of an erupting Sangay, with hummingbirds zipping about
Worst toilet: Campamento Italiano, Torres del Paine. I will never forget.
Top Fives (in no particular order)
Standout Places
1. Salar de Uyuni, Bolivia
2. Parque Nacional Torres del Paine, Chile
3. Parque Nacional Los Glaciares, Argentina
4. Iguazu Falls, Brazil/Argentina
5. Machu Picchu, Peru
Gourmet delights
1.
Bife de chorizo, Buenos Aires
2.
Curanto al hoyo, Chiloé
3.
Ceviche, Peru
4.
Salteñas, Bolivia
5.
Moqueca, Brazil
Colonial Gems
1. Cartagena de Indias, Colombia
2. Sucre, Bolivia
3. Olinda, Brazil
4. Colonia del Sacramento, Uruguay
5. Cuenca, Ecuador
Drinks
1. Beer, anywhere (but the half-frozen stuff in Brazil in particular)
2. Pisco Sour, Peru/Chile
3. Fruit juices, Colombia/Brazil
4.
Agua de panela, Colombia
5. Wine, of course, Argentina/Chile
National Parks
1. Parque Nacional Sajama, Bolivia
2. Parque Nacional Sangay, Ecuador
3. Parque Nacional Nahuel Huapi, Argentina
4. Parque Nacional Los Glaciares, Argentina
5. Parque Nacional Lauca, Chile
Camping spots
1. Reserva Nacional Cerro Castillo, Chile
2. Shore of Lago Espejo Chico, Argentina
3. At the foot of the active Volcán Sangay, Ecuador
4. Bahía Honda, Isla Navarino, Chile
5. Colecole Beach, Chiloé, Chile
Hikes and rides
1. Around Cerro Castillo, Chile
2. The W, Torres del Paine, Chile
3. Choquequirao, Peru
4. Santa Cruz trek, Peru
5. Ride to the source of the Magdalena River, Colombia
Adrenaline rushes
1. Canyoning, Puerto Varas, Chile
2. Sliding down Volcán Villarrica on sleds, Chile
3. Summiting 5,897-metre Cotopaxi, Ecuador
4. Standing on the edge of the Garganta del Diablo, Iguazú Falls, Argentina
5. Paragliding over Iquique, Chile
Bottom fives
Not-so-lovely places 1. Chimbote, Peru - the entire city stinks of fermenting anchovies. Nice.
2. Lima, Peru -
unbelievably amazing food, shame about the ugly city and revolting winter weather
3. Santiago, Chile - smoggy and soulless,
not South America's
most charming capital city
4. Comodoro Rivadavia, Argentina - nothing to see, nothing to do
5. Lago Agrio, Ecuador - grimy and gritty oil town, suspicious characters aplenty
Not-so-tasty foods 1. Tripe hiding in my
feijoada, Brazil
2. Rice and chips with
everything, Peru/Bolivia
3. Unidentified devil-spawn fruit, Cañón del Colca, Peru
4. Giant white grubs, Amazon rainforest, Ecuador - didn't try them but I
know they would've made the list
5. Cheese, pretty much anywhere in South America. Why oh why can't they make decent cheese!
The Five Travel essentials 1. Wet wipes - the big discovery of this trip
2. Imodium - enough said
3. e-Reader
4. Cockroach spray - if only for peace of mind
5. Earplugs - snorers in dorms, chatty vendors on Ecuadorian buses, the wind in Patagonia...
The countries
Argentina The highs: steak, ice-cream, a variety of landscape perhaps unequalled in South America
The lows: banging on about the bloody Malvinas all the time, coin shortages, horrific inflation
Chile The highs: wine, avocados, seafood, glaciers and fjords, deserts and volcanos
The lows: the continent's most incomprehensible Spanish, stray dogs
everywhere
Colombia The highs: South America's friendliest people, amazing fruit, gorgeous beaches
The lows: crazy bus drivers, stodgiest food
ever
Ecuador
The highs: the best street food, the craziest markets, the highest volcanos, the hottest showers (!)
The lows: one of the worst reputations for crime - we were fine though...
Peru
The highs: the most original national cuisine, richest archaeological heritage, amazing trekking
The lows: dodgiest plumbing, one of the dreariest capitals (despite the fabulous food scenes)
Bolivia
The highs: literally...highest altitude cities, most dreamlike landscapes
The lows: dodgiest buses, dodgiest roads
Brazil
The highs: best music, fabulous regional cuisine, beaches,
caipirinhas, beautiful language
The lows: a reputation for violence and crime, high prices
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Home and Away
Bob Carlsen
What a trip!!!
I've enjoyed following your travels and hope to do some of the same areas in 2014...much shorter trip, however. Good luck on your future, and I'm looking forward to hearing from you in Tasmania.