Lima - South America's final curtain...

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viernes, 25 de junio
Our last bus in South America, at least for this trip. Not necessarily something we'll miss although it could have been so much worse. We headed for Lima, way too early for our flight in 6 days. Thanks STA. Coming through the district of San Isidro Lima liked like the place sh*thole was before it cleaned itself up a bit. Fortunately for us we had located ourselves in Miraflores - much nicer. And outside of Central Lima. It reminds of Recoleta in Buenos Aires i.e. lots of nice houses and BIG gates. There are no dogs on the street either, perfect. It's clean and restaurants are plentiful if generic. Could be okay.

Final stretch and I got the sh*ts for the first time. Kenny died of less than this.

sabado, 26 de junio
A day for checking out Miraflores and what it has to offer. Turns out less than a postcard's worth. We began the greying day with an attempt to go to Huaca Llancana - a site of historical significance to Peru - but were thwarted by an army of schoolchildren and a 40 minute wait. It's Saturday!! WTF? Losing 1-0 we thought we would check out the numerous parks that our map is dominated by. These were tiny though, not for an afternoon's reading. So we headed out to the sea, or at least the cliffs that look over it with their watchful eyes. This is the classic fitness haunt that every city that wants to be considered modern/trendy must have. Push-up bars etc adorn the paths otherwise dominated by skateboarding kids who would stab you in a heartbeat for crossing their path.

The path leads itself to Larcomar, a shopping centre built into the cliffs. With little else to do we saw the A-team. Before you so nah!

domingo, 27 de junio
England out of the World Cup. F*ck everything else.

Ooh, actually the internet cafe says "no child porn". Seriously who would do that in a room full of 40 computers?

lunes, 28 de junio
More of nothing. We scoured the artesanal markets looking for a reasonably priced picture but came up short.

martes, 29 de junio
Today we took the decision to leave Miraflores, at least for the day anyway. We hadn't really realised but Central Lima is friggin' miles away and had to catch a pricey cab. Since there are locals dancing in the street the cab dropped us a few blocks from the Plaza de Armas. On the walk up we were halted/hindered by the sheer volume of people gathered round a tv shop. Paraguay in a penalty shoot-out. We thought that kind of thing only happened in movies.

Lima's Plaza de Armas is pretty spectacular by South American standards. The huge square is enclosed by the Palacio de Gobierno, the Archbishop's Palace, the Catedral de Lima and other such gothica that wouldn't look out of place in London (unless there were people praying - that's illegal in London right?). The biggest hint at colonial Spain is in the coloured streets leading off of the main square.

Our walk from the plaza to the Monasterio de San Fransisco was blocked by the local dancers (again). Garish colours, bells and a full brass-band had us thinking we'd stepped into South American gay pride. The dancing reminded of me when drunk - no apparent connection to the music being played. FYI sober I'm not better I just don't dance. The event was in honour of St. Peter and St. Paul and was kind of unnerving to see catholicism celebrated using traditional Peruvian methods (very Inca). Hayley was bored of this stuff and went looking for more interesting things whilst I stayed to watch.

Inside the monastery Hayley sat waiting for the English tour to begin. I had been showered by pigeons as they dived for cover from the brass bands like war movie extras diving from bombs. The guided tour ordered that again no photos be taken inside the building, this time it seemed a little fairer since any flash photography and there was real risk the whole place would disintegrate. The tour took us to the library, the "most important in South America" housing books from as early as c.16th which consistently with the building were two fingerprints from being dust. The Vatican would not approve.

Onward to the choir gallery, each seat exquisitely backed by delicately carpentered saints. Some other information was relayed but it's hard to hear with a sermon going on. Voyeurism again. Outside (and inside forgot to mention) were plenty of paintings to be marvelled at, strangely the outdoor ones were all missing heads. Classic Peru, no-one knows why. They really need to learn to document. It was probably for the aliens. In the currently-being-restored garden a Yank asked if photos existed of the original garden. The garden we had only just been told was 300 years old. Never underestimate the World's police force for stupidity. Lastly we went down into the catacombs, low in height and filled with the bones of 25,000 clean-living Peruvians. A bit weird, gave Hayley a chill.

With our afternoon back to the Main Square and FIFA Fanfest. A screen bigger than 2 houses flanked by a huge cola bottle to watch the World Cup. For a Tuesday it's heaving. Workshy mothers. Somebody wanted my photo, somebody pickpocketed a flyer for a tv shop from my pocket. Feed your drug habit with that you pr*ck. Sadly most of the people wanted Portugal (versus Spain) but the atmosphere was good. And Spain won.

Caught the World's most dangerous, seatbeltless taxi home. The jury is out whether the indicator stopped working on the highway or the driver just stopped using it.

miercoles, 30 de junio
Is it boring to you to hear about us never finding what we are looking for? No? Then let us regale you with another story. Into Central Lima again we headed to see the bullfighting museum. This time with no map. Somehow we ended up in the Chinese district (they were slaves here), literally the only foreigners for several blocks and a magnet to the stares of those eyes. It was absolute chaos, the traffic here has really worn us down over 3 months.

An abject failure of a day but for the fact Hayley asked me if "nippy comes from nipples?"

jueves, 1 de julio
Time to move on. South America this is not goodbye, just "hola". Since it didn't involve much, some lists:

5 FAVOURITE SIGHTS (not in order)
1. Macchu Pichu - obviously
2. Villarica volcano from Heurquehue - shining over the lake
3. Isla del Sol/Lake Titicaca
4. The view from Cerro Lopez (Bariloche) - and the surrounding lakes
5. Cormorant shower scene at Ballestas

5 THINGS WE WON'T MISS
1. Having to sign an insurance waiver just to cross the road (it's that dangerous)
2. Moving ever closer to lung cancer
3. Chips five times a week
4. The closeness between camera and genitals on buses
5. Using "no entiendo" and often "no entendiendo"

5 FUNNIEST MOMENTS
1. A pack of dogs in Salta attacking an innocent ice cream man
2. Hayley's glasses breaking dismount on the sand dunes
3. Dan's backpack speeding up his horse in Tupiza
4. Getting my hand stuck behind a bus seat
5. Hayley wondering why she can't feel her deodorant but hadn't put her hand under her t-shirt.

Adios SA. New York tomorrow.

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Photos

Classic car
There were loads of them. Not one stolen.