California Dreaming and 10 hours in Mexico........

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Evening people and greetings from our 7th Country and last stop til home :o(

So we landed in LA on the 9th May..... LAX has to be the WORST airport we have ever experienced! Han and I thought it would be super modern, spacious and clean but it was so dated and disorganised, it took us 2 hours from getting off the plane to finally exiting the building!!

So our hostel was in West Hollywood, and to be honest it was a bit ropey- but a great location on Melrose Avenue with stupidly good restaurants and shopping, oh to tease a poor backpacker. So Han and I were experiencing our first 36 hour Saturday! But we got quite a lot of sleep on the plane so were'nt feeling too ropey so decided to have a night on the tiles in LA. We decided we were sick of slumming it in dive backpacker bars so asked where the upscale bars and clubs were. We first went to the Standard Hotel which has a pool bar and a night club which was very exclusive; they even employ a girl to wear a bikini and just lounge in a glass cabinet at the entry! After there we go to a club owned by Ashton Kutcher (Demi Moore's hubbie) called Les Deux. The queue was rather large and lots of people being turned away, but Han and I hitched up our skirts pulled down our tops, exuded our English charm (ahem) and strolled right in! If only they knew we were backpackers staying at some dingy hostel! This was also a really cool club, lots of beautiful people, and some celebrities too apparantly (Dennis Rodman). but the weird thing with LA is that nightclubs finish at 1.30am! So I think the usual thing is that people go to house parties after.....we went to one at a suite at The Beverly Hills Hilton where the Golden Globes are hosted...... nice.

2 days later (yes hangover issues) we go to Hollywood Boulevard, and to the Kodak Theatre where you can see all the famous stars handprints and footprints. To be honest if you walk too far down the street it gets kinda rough which we were not expecting in Hollywood! We then go on a stars home open top tour which just has to be done! There's nothing like a bit of star stalking! But to be honest all we really got to see were very tall hedges, gates, fences, intercom systems and some very hi-tech security. Some of the houses in Beverly Hills are just unbelieveable- Tori Spelling (daughter of Aaron Spelling) her house is so enormous- 123 rooms and only 4 people live there! We also saw the Beckham's house- I have never been so excited about seeing 3 french windows and a roof at 1000 paces in my life.

On Wednesday go out again, to SLS Hotel which has a very exclusive cocktail lounge, full of very good looking young men with Cougars (rich old women) or vice versa. 2 vodka cranberrys $30 plus the customary ridiculous 20% tip made 2 vodkas $36 which equates to 22 pounds, Shockingly shocking. We then go to The Area which is a cool nightclub in Hollywood and the craziest experience happened. I have never felt so much prejudice in my entire life; they will not let ugly people in the club unless they buy a table, which means buying extremely expensive bottles of Champagne or Vodka! So ugly poor people cannot go clubbing in these places! And they let in 3 hot girls to every man; somehow I got in easily but the men just hang aound trying to get with a woman who would grant them entry! To be honest the kind of scene isnt really my cup of tea, the people in those types of places are just so superiorist and superficial....... and the music also isnt that great; music in English clubs is much better; funkier fresher and more soul. Oh and everyone drives and valets everywhere, I've never known so many people to drive to a club! No one walks here! And with the tipping and drink prices, its no wonder there is no shortage of designated drivers! Oh and i'm so glad the UK doesnt condone this tipping nuscience, it's the most ridiculous concept. We know a Canadian girl who used to be a barmaid (granted she is very good looking) and her tips alone paid for her round the world ticket! Oh and I got to go to The Beverley Hills Wiltshire- now that might not mean a lot to some of you boys reading this, but if you're a girl all I need to mention are 2 words; Pretty Woman. Oh yes, that hotel with the penthouse- I even saw an original script and artifacts! Girl heaven! Oh and let me also mention the cars in LA......... I've never known anything quite like it. Not even in London. Every other car is a Bentley, Aston martin, Rolls, Maserati, SLK, Ferrari, Lambourghini, M5, Range Rover, Porsche- you kind of get really unimpressed by them after a while! But people dont buy cars here, they only rent which makes it why they can afford such high-end vechicles. oh and another thing thats pretty weird, a real dychotomy is that massive SUV's are driven or Hybrids, the most gas gussling vechicles or the most enviro-friendly ones........

On thursday as per usual we bump into some people we've met on our travels (this time New Zealand) have the biggest multi-national party in our hostel in the 'party room' which is a great idea, as so cheap as you bring your own booze and you can smoke; but I drank WAAAAY to much vodka and was sick (only the 2nd alcohol-related spewage on my travels- 1st was on day 5 in Bangkok- those lethal buckets!) The US is way less strict on smoking that I thought it would be- Oz has to be the most strict. You can't buy booze from as many places as you can in the UK but you can buy booze from 24 hour pharmacies here (obviously!) So the next day to mend the hangover 5 of us head to Norms which is your steriotypical US diner experience. Cheap as chips. $10 for steak, chips, soup, salad, garlic bread, potatoes and unlimited coke. Feels like you're making money! No wonder these people are so huge! The next day Han and I went to a comedy night at 'Improv' down Melrose. There are loads of comedy nights in LA. Han and I were a bit dubious, didnt think we would understand US humour but it was quality, pure hillarity. Well worth the $20! Sunday we took the bus to Santa Monica (the nearest beach to LA). 3 hour round trip on the bus! SM is lovely, really nice promenade, but not quite hot enough to sunbathe. l Han and I thought California in May would be glorious but it isn't half as hot as we thought it would be. LA has great consistent wether, 20 to early 20's each day but you never see a beautiful blue sky like you do in England, the smog is constant. As LA is in a valley it just gets trapped, cannot escape. That night we chill out in the hostel and around 9pm we feel a very weird sensation. As I was on the top bunk, I just assumed Han was really wriggling beneath me, but the second time it happened, car alarms were going off and we realised we had just been involved in an Earthquake! Pretty big too 4.8 on the richter scale. Arrrrrgh!

So after 9 days we finally leave LA. Overall opinion was that it was enjoyable. It's not a visually stunning place; there is no great architecture, and it is very spread out, but it has a cool vibe, you do feel like you are in a movie set 24/7. The people are beautiful- and they seem to have a lot- great cars, apartments, wardrobes etc, but its such a fake place. As a size 12 (8 in America- hoorah!) I did feel morbidly obese. But at least I got the Californian breasts! But there are so many homeless people, you do not feel safe. 2 days after Han and I were at the Beverly Shopping Centre a young up-and-coming rapper was shot dead! And we've never been approached by so many people in our lives! Whether they want to date you, want a quarter, want to preach the lords prayer to you, you get hassled constantly! And the minute they realise you're English twins, well you just cannot get away. There are also so many people with mental health issues. Every other person scavenges in a bin. Every other person talks to themselves. America is supposed to be the richest country in the world, but I have never ever seen so many homeless people and trailor parks in my life.

So on Tuesday Han and I get the Amtrack train to Santa Barbara. I once saw SB on an episode of 'Murder She Wrote' (don't laugh- I was addicted to that programme in my student days) and it looked bloody gorgeous. It was 2.5 hours on the train, snaking along side the pacific ocean. We got there and it is so beautiful. We managed to get booked into the one and only hostel there (with the record number of dorm beds- 12 squeezed into 1 room!) which was only a block away from the beach. The Rocky Mountains circle SB, it has a beautiful beach, promenade and harbour, and the town itself is so pretty- buildings remind me a lot of Spain. California is so Hispanic! I mean I was expecting that as most of the names of places are of Spanish origin, but Mexican food seems like the local cuisine, everyone speaks Spanish, and some signs and advertisements are ONLY in Spanish. On our second day Han and I rented some bikes and cycled down the promenade. Typical Californian promenade- people roller skating, running with small dogs, cycling, groups of people doing aerobics, we were such imposters! Oh and whilst cycling down the promenade we were racing some Dolphins swimming along the shore- what a sight. Oh and after 20 mins of cycling without breaks,j ust using the soles of our shoes as make-shift breaks, we realised you had to pedal backwards to break. Ahem.

After 2 days we set off again and risk life and limb (and our heads) on the Greyhound bus re:http://www.cbc.ca/canada/manitoba/story/2009/03/03/mb-li-trial.html The Greyhound is basically the cheapest and most comprehensive way to travel America, but is not the safest. Criminals released from prison get a Greyhound bus ticket to travel home. But we have barely any money left so is really our only choice. We travel north for 9 hours (relativley unevenful trip- good tip is to avoid eye contact, wear your earphones and sit near the front. Or for less risk of harrasment, just rock back and forth and hum, people tend to leave you alone then). Although I think someone at one stage was attempting so set the back of the bus alight- oh joy! So we get to our most northern point in Cali- San Fran. Bloody freezing! After New Zealand we sent all our warm clothes home. What a mistaka to maka! I think some days it was actually colder than NZ- unseasonably cold apparently! Oh and driving into the city was quite comical- we crossed a very impressive bridge into the city, took lots of pictures and thought how perculiar it was that the Golden Gate Bridge was more of a grey colour, but thought not that much more of it. It was a huge bridge into San Fran, maybe they painted it was Grey paint now as it rusts less than the gold. Erm find out after 2 days that that was the Bay Bridge and The Golden Gate Bridge is at the opposite end of the city. Whoops!

San Fransisco was a lot more visually stunning than LA, the architecture was impressive, and there is no where like it- the steep streets, the trams, the distinctive Victorian housing, it is a very unique place. We met Margaret, who we'd spent 2 weeks with in NZ for dinner as she lives in nearby Sacremento. We book a bus city tour, stop off at China Town (which was actually used in one of the Indiana Jones films as 'real' China!) Han and I have a yummy Chinese meal, then continue on the bus to Fishermans Wharf and Pier 39. This is a great part of San Fran. A real sea-side feel. Some great seafood eateries- yummy! Some brilliant street performers including the worst violinist I have ever heard- his bow didnt even have strings! Oh and a man who sits behind a make-shift hedge constructed with some tree branches who scares passerbyers all day! On the jetties at Pier 39 there are some huge very smelly Sealions, hundereds of them! They arrived over night after an earthquake 20 years ago, and havent moved since! Very strange. Quite a lot of fun watching the alpha-males push off the smaller males into the sea, with a lot of encouragement and whoops from the crowd! Pier 39 is also the gateway to Alcatraz. Alcatraz http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcatraz_Island is on an island a few miles off the coast and its such a surreal sight, very spooky looking. We didnt actually go to the prison (not enough time/money) but the tour is supposed to be worth it- especially the night tour; argh! There have been 3 known escapees from Alcatraz- none of them made it to the shore. Not only did they have to contend with the freezing choppy waters but the sea is also infested with Great White Sharks...... nice! We then continue to the actual factual Golden Gate Bridge and I think if you look closely you can see icicles coming off my nose on the top of the bus. Ok maybe I'm being melo-dramatic but it was so bloody freezing! And misty which was a bit rubbish as are pics aren't the best. California has mist that I've never witnessed before. It's so low-lying, from the sea right up to the mountains. The Golden Gate Bridge is a beautiful construction. It took 4 years to build, 11 construction workers died building it and is now the most popular suicide spot in the US- aren't I just full of useless macarbre facts!

After day 2 in San Fran Han and I had to move out of the hostel as full and check into a nearby hotel. Private room, room to swing a cat...... a TV! And I'm ashamed to admit it but the TV and the cold really did hamper our exploration opportunities. Ok, ok I'll be honest for the next 2 days we virtually didnt leave the room (we had 67 channels of US trashy TV what's not to love!?) Eventually hunger drove us out into the big bad world, and to be honest that wasnt an over exageration. Although only 3 blocks from Union Sq, the neighbourhood was pretty dodgy- San Fran makes LA look bum-free. I have never seen such a huge concentration of homeless people in my life! And if you ignore them they get angry, and if you talk to them you will not be left alone! You cannot win! I was also surprised by just how many people give them change too, they must make a small fortune! The vast majority of them are of African origin, a few White but no Asians or Orientals. There just seems to be no US version of Shelter here at all, its just so shocking. Han and I actually felt more safe in LA then San Fran, which was a huge surpise to us.

After 5 days in San Fran we fly south to San Diego, very very excited by the promise of hotter weather. We managed to find a flight for $59, 1.5 hour flight time- perfect. Descending into San Diego was pretty cool- you fly inbetween the skyscrapers- you can virtually see into people's living rooms! A short 10 mins taxi ride to the Gas Lamp District (5th Ave) and we get to our hostel, right in the thick of restaurants, bars, shops, clubs- perfect location, a really buzzing place. Hostel was really cool, very old building, spacious, high cellings etc, a nice feel to the place. SD is only 30 mins by car to Mexico, so you can imagine it has a huuuuge Mexican feel to the place, but annoyingly it was probably colder then LA! Argh! Still no sunbathing on a beach to be had! So we didnt actually manage to sunbathe once in Cali, how rubbish! Han and I walked to the port and saw the HSS Medway which is the largest military ship I have seen in my life. it was one of those aircraft carrier like off Topgun, commissioned in 1945 (did they know the war was going to end in the same year!?) and served right the way through til 1994. Han took a walk to Balboa Park which held the world renouned San Diego Zoo, 13 museums, Botanical Gardens and was stunning, again very Spanish, with beautiful Hispanic architecture. Saturday night came and we decided to go on a bar crawl to Tijuana, Mehhhhhico. I had already been to Mexico 3 years ago and really wasnt that enamoured with going again, but Han wanted the 8th country stamp in her passport so I relented. After a 40 min trolley (train) ride we hit Mexico, the most frequently crossed border in the world. The minute you step across the border every thing changed dramatically. The streets get filthier, kids start begging money off you and you do not see another tall blonde person for as far as you can see. We go to a few bars, eat horrifically bad Mexican food (tastes nothing like the 'Mexican' food you get outside of Mexico), drink some 96% proof Tequila at a Tequila store, go to a night club, get harrassed by Mexican men and then last stop a Mexican Strip bar.

*If you are of a nervous disposition please do not read this next paragraph*

Ok so 12 of us head into this strip club; 1 Ukranian girl, 1 French boy, 1 Norweigan girl, 2 South African boys, 1 Aussie boy, 4 English girls and 2 English boys. So the usual thing starts out; topless girl gyrating on stage, lots of Tequila and Corona getting consumed, all pretty standard. Then the MOST shocking thing I have ever witnessed in my life happened. Cez, a lovely Mancunian lad gets plucked from the crowd to join 2 girls on the stage. Out comes some squirty cream and water and Cez is encouraged to rub the squirty cream into the girls boobies. OK so nothing too shocking so far. Next thing you know these lasses are taking off Cez's T-shirt and jeans leaving him in his pants. More sliding, gyrating, sexy dancing blah blah blah. Next thing you know Cez is in a tug-o-war with his boxers and these girls, they rip him off him and the poor boy is butt naked in front of around 100 people (ncluding roughly 88 very scary looking Mexican men). Next thing you know the lad is on his back and one of them is simulating giving him a blow job. This lasts for a while, and then the other one grabs his willy and starts giving him a hand job!!!! The poor Norweigan girl nearly starts crying and Hannah has to console her; the rest of our group are just mortified and his friend thinks its the best thing he has ever seen! The poor boy didn't know whether to feel extremely violated or just relax and embrace the moment. I mean can you imagine the trouble you would be in if a man was doing that to an unsuspecting female customer!? So the song eventually ends after what seems like a life time and Cez is butt naked resembling the colour of a snowman. He gets taken back-stage to shower (with the girls!) Whilst we try to scoop up his clothes to try and retain any dignity the poor boy has got left. Now I am not a prudish person, I regard myself as pretty liberal, but after witnessing that I think I may be a little more right-wing than previously thought! We rescue the poor boy, pay our tab and exit the club and Mexico ASAP; border control was pretty funny getting back into the US (funny that we didnt have to show any documents or passports getting into Mexico!? We could have gone completely AWOL in Mexico and no one would have had a bloody clue!) So we finally get back to SD at 3am, very worse for wear, after the most surreal 10 hours I have ever spent in my life. Thank god we didnt agree to go to the Mexican Donkey Show. Yes, use your imagination.

So we leave SD on the 1st June for Las Vegas, where I am writing this to you now from. Quite relieved to leave the SD district as a poor girl got shot 5 times in the chest by the boyfriend at the top of the street! I have a week here; I honestly don't know if I'm going to make it out alive! We're staying at the Stratosphere on the 23rd floor overlooking The Strip in our gorgeous room with 2 queen size beds. This backpacking lark really is hard work. So if anyone of you would like to donate some money so we win big and dont have to stop or world tour in 2 weeks please visit www.fundthetwinsdebaucheryinsincity.com

Many thanks

B and H xxxxx

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