Published: June 13th 2012May 18th 2012
The integrity of my blog has been questioned! Fortunately a neutral third party review found in my favour. And from the talk this weekend, no one wants to be featured in the blog! Guess I shouldn’t be surprised. But to suggest that I exaggerate? Or lie? Come on! You know me better than that. Complete honesty. I’m actually editing the real crazy stuff out!
Why do weird things always happen to me as soon as I start travelling? Tbag to Niagara. Air Canada. World’s smoothest check in! On the plane, waiting to go. Everyone is on, waiting. Then a family of seven gets on. Of course they are all dragging suitcases. Two little kids get on first and start heading down the aisle. Then the dad gets on. He has a big beard, so already one strike in my book. How can you keep a beard clean? I really don't think you can. Food is going to get in that thing regardless. And I don't know how it gets cleaned. Like hair? Full shampoo daily? And why does it seem that the guys who have these long big beards aren't ever the type to bathe daily. Those things must smell.
You don't see these beard guys ever having a wet beard. And you would think after some meals they would need a full wash. Like corn on the cob. Or spaghetti, difficult for anyone to eat politely. So the dad gets on and he's a total ass. Now you know ass is a strong word for me, I prefer moron for the blog. But this guy is moving quickly toward a-hole. He gives the flight attendant the boarding passes and asks where to go. The flight attendant (FA) is telling him 17C, 15D, 16A and then Beardy says no! We have children, we can't sit like that. Fix it. FA says he can't, those are the only seats left. Beardy says it isn't ok, he booked the tickets 2 months ago, and who is going to look after the children (the smallest two are already down at their seats). FA says Sorry, you will have to make do with those seats. Beardy starts yelling! I start sweating. I don't mind angry, but I don't like it when I'm trapped in a tube. Beardy says FA is going to fix it or he's just going stand there. FA is french, and
he's plenty assertive. Big fan of how FA handled it. He just kept being firm and telling him the plane is going to go and he needs to get to the seat. Then Beardy asks for his supervisor if FA can't do anything. FA says sure, my supervisor is in Toronto, so please take your seat. Haha. FA is funny! So off they go. Shockingly the wife comes in, fully covered in a traditional headdress. Lucky woman. Real story: Beardy is too cheap to pay for seat assignment so he just freaks out to see if that will work. I'm guessing he did the same at the counter when he checked in. A-hole.
Tried to have a nap but the woman in front of me is having a dramatic sneeze cough thing. About 20 times!! Yikers. I didn't see a kleenex anywhere. I get sick everytime I fly, except when going to Sioux. For sure tomorrow I will wake up with some new germ that prevents clear breathing as a result of no kleenex sneeze-cough repeat x 20. Germ city on these planes.
Getting on the plane is Ed’s nemesis - guy with carry on suitcase and a big backpack. This guy has a white suitcase. You know Ed has a comment. So we are boarding and this guy gets between Ed and I. The woman checking us in says 'she's waiting for you, isn't that sweet’. No, it isn't. I'm trying to put a buffer (me) between Ed and this guy so we don't get into a fistfight on the tarmack. In Ed's defense, the guy had a Lululemon packsack and a shiny white spinner suitcase. Probably would have benefited from a punch to the head.
We did get to go to the Food Truck Event at Peller Estates. 12 food trucks. The ones we watch on tv. I was probably a bit too excited go to the food trucks. I blame Ed for that, years of street meat. Got to try lots of great things. My niece and I picked the line for Gourmet Bitches (keep the comments to yourself) which was the worst possible line up. We were there for over an hour and a half! And was it hot. And did I get a sunburn. Of course! Because this is the one year where I need to not get a sunburn. It has screwed up the tan that I worked on for 2 weeks. And it was work.
It was a great weekend. I can’t put any details in because a few of the in-laws have blog fears. I can see why, it is one inappropriate to potentially offensive comment after another. They cannot manage their behavior like adults. Common situations: someone tries to stick a finger up your rear end; someone tells you something that is a complete fabrication to see if you will be gullible enough to repeat it; someone asks you a question that is far too personal just to see if you will squirm or actually give an answer; someone will walk in on you when you are in the bathroom; someone else will not shut the bathroom door, ever; someone will take their pants off in the living room, change their clothes, and then look at you like you are a pervert for noticing; someone will sleep on a couch because someone else has issues which means they can’t sleep with a sibling in a king size bed; someone will have ribs before 10am (ok, there are a whole lot of someones who did that); someone will be so rude to their sibling that they will need to be sequestered for a time out (yes, and over 50 adult); someone will put someone elses underwear on their head; someone will be up in the middle of the night with the roilings because of poor and excessive food choices that involve deep fry, to be followed within 12 hours by pork belly… You get the picture.