Executive Decision RE: old people.

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So I've decided something.

I have decided that I despise old people in the supermarket. Now, in order to be fair, most people go by me unnoticed on their shopping excursions and I have met 2 very nice old people before, but on the whole? I can't stand them.

Let's just refer back to my Pesach adventure with the insane little old man that rammed his cart into me repeatedly and screamed at me because well...I'm chalking it up to he may be bi-polar or schizophrenic. One or the other. This is just one example. (Go back to oldeposts if you're confused and want a refresher.)

Today, all I wanted was 4 items (which technically qualifies me for the express lane - not that anything is actually "express" in Israel but I digress). Anyways, I got my 4 items and chose the line which appeared to me to be the fastest. The people in the way front were just bagging their items, which to normal, logical thinking, means they are done with their bill and are leaving. Then the guy right in front of me had 1 item (roasted chicken to be exact) and money in his hand to pay. This seemed like a great line for me to be in.

Wrong.

All of a sudden, some old man comes up, thick eyeglasses and cane even to complete the picture and cuts in front of the nice Chinese lady behind me saying "Boy. Rega" and promptly pushes himself in the line and shoves money at the cashier, completely disregarding everyone else in the line and bumping me into the chicken man in front of me and putting me off balance. He then starts yelling at the cashier something about he needs change and then the previous lady (also in her 60's or 80's...whatever) who was bagging her items starting arguing that her humus was supposed to be 1+1 (or buy one get one free for my American readers). Then the chicken man who I thought was on my side, all of a sudden needed some obscure brand of cigarettes and therefore needed the cashier to crawl all over the store to find it. Meanwhile, I'm starting to run late for work, I'm hungry, sweaty from the gym, and getting pissed off.

So what previously was supposed to be an "in and out" trip has once again been thwarted. I have failed once again in the thing known as grocery shopping in Israel. I swear, I'm just starting to get used to the fact that no shopping cart in Israel rolls straight. But I cannot and will not get used to the fact that old people suck in the grocery store and no matter what line I'm in will always inevitably become the worst possible line I could have chosen. No wonder I lose weight in this country - it's because to eat anything is an process.

So what happened to the old people? Well the old man finally got his change, shoved me again out of his way and this time actually (albeit accidently) hit me with his cane as he made his way out of the line. The old lady got her humus 1+1 and heldup our line by 15 minutes. Chicken man got his cancer sticks and heldup our line another 10 minutes and the Chinese lady didn't even say a word.

So...1/2 hour later, I finally got back to my apartment (which is 2 buildings down from the supermarket mind you), ate my food like it was the Indy 500 and I was qualifying to be the fastest car, and was late to work and got some heartburn from the food.

Awesome.

But to end on a positive note, one of my items was this great new bodywash I got that has body oil in it and man it smells yummy.

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Photos

Old People Crossing
We should have warning signs like this...

Roasted Chicken Man
Who knew something so tasty could make someone so crazy?

Supersal
This store is trying to kill me....

Smoking Kills
Just stop already!! And make the line go faster!!