I just can't get away from the snow.

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I expected it to be cold in Perugia, yes. But at least in my mind I was getting away from the cold, snowy winters that Mount Bethel and Annville have. Lies. Last night it all started. Although it was more like a rain storm, it was nevertheless classified as flurries. And when I woke up this morning, I was immersed in a winter wonderland. Ugh. I am not a total hater of snow though. When I am home and I would get bundled up in snow gear and just mess around in the snow... it is great. But when you are abroad, with a limited amount of clothing and shoe choices and you need to make it uphill to get to class...that is a totally different story. As i type, I am looking out the window and witnessing the biggest snowflakes that i have ever seen in my life. It is ridiculous! So in response to this weather I have decided to do two things today : first, take lots of pictures (because even in the wintry blizzardness that is this day, Perugia is still so beautiful) and then secondly, I will gather up all of the blankets that are in my apartment, cocoon myself in them, and sleep. For many hours 😊

So as I have been facebooking friends with messages and life updates, I have discovered that my good friend Cristi from LVC is on house arrest for her head injury and reads my blog daily. And I must say that I am honored to have my writing be called a highlight of her day 😊 I had to give you a little shout out Cristi, because I know that if I were in Annville this semester I would most definitely be in Philly some weekends curled up on the couch with you watching a Friends marathon eating Turkey Hill Ice Cream and any other kind of goodies we could get out hands on, kind of like a summary of our last semester together.

Another little shout out I feel obliged to make is to Granny. haha One of the first things she said to me on the phone yesterday was " I don't see anything about me in your blog! You must think I passed away!" and I had two responses to this. #1. "oh dear God. (Granny always tried to make me not study abroad by telling me that she was going to die when I am away along with telling me ridiculous things like how I was going to be an old women when I came back and how my dogs will also probably die without me there. Horrific comments, I know. But after hearing it 8 times a week for a month, my only response to it is now "dear god granny, you will be fine.") #2. Granny, I didn't even know you knew what a blog was? haha when she said that she is reading my blog I just picture my Dad, doing what he always does and whipping out his Ipad to my blog page (that of course he is subscribed to) and reading it aloud to my whole family. I can just picture that, and how after my deep comments about things like the Saint Peter's Bascilica Granny would probably cry and wonder when I am coming home, Brendan would be so jealous about all of the awesome stuff I am doing and make some sarcastic comment, Erica would punch him for the sarcastic comment in my defense, and my mom would just be waiting for the day that I meet them in the airport in April. My family is such a funny group. Two of the last memories I have from home are playing the Things Game (which always turns into dirty or sarcastic comments that usually end up making fun of Brendan 😉 ) and then the night before I left, and all of us on our Ipads playing doodlejump and trying to beat everyone's high score. The best part is when my dad finally gave in and tried it...then a few days later he messaged me and said that he gave in and bought the 99 cent version of the game. haha I died at that. My roommates always make fun of me for doodlejumping but they don't understand the intense competition that I have going on with my brother (BTW Bren, 40,556 is my new high score, yeaa buddy :D ). haha I wish you guys were coming over for my spring break. Where we could just roam around Italy doing whatever comes our way. That would be awesome.

I feel the need to talk about my relationship with my roommates. I love them. At LVC, I have friends that are girls, but I really only have two close ones ( Andrew and Travis I love you both, but you just don't give me that girl to girl talks that a women needs every once and a while. haha). But now, I have 5 roommates and they are great. Last night we watched so many movies and we just sat, and watched, and talked, and ate corn flakes and nutella (not together) and it was fantastic. It is kind of hard to meet Italians here, just because you need to filter out the good ones from the bad, but the bonding that I have done with my roommates is something I will never forget. We are already planning to go into the city together during the summer to see a show! Bridget, one of my roommates, lives in the Bronx, so she knows all the ins and outs of the city.

I am sorry that I don't have much to talk about regarding my activities. The past few days we have been taking it easy and not really going out at nights. We just get up, go to class, research travel plans for the weekends, and come back. Once we are in the apartment we make dinner, do homework, and just hang out for the rest of the night. Not a bad life, I must say.

Jules and I had a really good life talk last night and I came to a realization. I realized that once I get back, the real world begins. Next semester I have nothing but business classes, I will hopefully have an internship, and I need to start figuring out what area of business that I want to pursue. I probably need to start thinking about which grad schools I like too. And if I continue with Italian, where do I take classes. Summer classes maybe? And where do I want to work this summer? I want to do something that matters instead of working at Bonton again, something that I can gain experiences from. I think it would be awesome to get some kind of job at AAA. That place I feel has a lot of different opportunities, although I don't know much about it yet. I mean, I need to relax a little. In general, I have a rough ten year plan. First, graduate from LVC with a major in Business Administration and a minor in Communications. But also, I would like to pursue the Italian language further. I want to be fluent. And LVC only offers up to a certain level of Italian so I feel that the next two summers will be me pursuing that. After college I want to get a job, obviously. I want to explore different areas of business and find one that I am really passionate about. When I do that, I plan on getting a little apartment somewhere and go to grad school to focus more on whatever area of business I decide on. Once I graduate from grad school eventually I would love to spend a couple of months traveling Europe and maybe even go to Australia with my Aunt Terry. I want to see everything there is to see, although I know that is impossible. I want to be cultured and I want to experience things. Maybe that will result in me living in a different country for a few months or something along those lines. I am really open to something like that, it's all situational. But back to the plan. Once I travel and feel that I myself am stable financially and emotionally, I definitely want to get married in my mid to late 20's. Once that happens I will settle into the rest of my life and kids and parenting and blahblahblah... I only say blahblahblah because that is a chapter of my life that is too far away to think about. But as of right now, I am here. In Italy. Just...being. growing. experiencing. For those of you who have read all of my blogs, I am sorry. I feel that I always go off on rants about how this is changing me for the better and how my views have been positively altered by this. But honestly, those ideas consume my life right now, so naturally, they also consume my writings.

Have you ever stopped and just though about where your decision will leave you in the long run? I have been doing that a lot lately. And I know that I probably shouldn't put this in my blog for the world to read, but I have always been an open person with my personal life. I am an open book, which sometimes gets me in trouble. But I will tell you now. I have been thinking a lot about my life in general with Tom. Tom, I hope you don't get angry at me for writing this, but I feel like it is just something I want to share and honestly the only people reading my blog are people who care about me enough to read my ramblings, so I don't think that they will be affected. Anyway, as you all know, Tom and I have been together for a really long time. And as you all know, we are on a break right now. But going back to my comment earlier, I have been thinking a lot about the future. And I know that I am here for three more months( a long time) and I know that we are really young, but I was thinking about this the other day. At what age is it that the mindset changes from "i am too young to figure out who i want to be with for the rest of my life" and " i am going to look back at this and think that i was so lucky to meet the person that i want to spend the rest of my life with so early." I don't know if that makes sense to you, but it does to me. I feel like there is a point where that changes. It's probably different for everyone depending on the people and the situation, I mean look at Brendan and Erica. When did they know that they were gonna be together forever? But then again look at Jordan and Chris, it happened for them a little later but they are probably the happiest couple I have ever seen. I look at them, and then I look at me. And you might think I am crazy, but in the long run, I could see that with Tom. Being here already I have seen some pretty shitty guys. How they use nice girls to get what they want, and how manipulative they can be. And even though right now I am technically "single", that just made me think about how fortunate I am to have found a guy that will genuinely be there for me. Not because he has to, not because he gets something out of it, but just because he loves me so much that he just wants me to be happy. And really, isn't that what it comes down to? Maybe I am just being a little naive 19 year old girl but really, think about it. I have been blessed to be surrounded with happy couples and these people have not only shown me first hand what a happy relationship is, but they have talked to me, given me advice over the years. I know how rare it is to find a love like my mom and dads. I know how hard two people need to work to get to that point, and I know that it isn't always easy. One of my favorite quotes of all times is "Nothing worth while ever comes easy. Remember that." It applies to everything in life, but especially, I feel, towards relationships.

I apologize again. I just went off on another rant and I really didn't even get to my point. My point is that for those who are wondering and/or are worried about me emotionally, here it is: right now, Tom and I are on a break. We, like everyone else, have issues that we need to work on both individually and together. We are both taking this time to grow as people and to take the time to talk about our relationship to get to a point where we can be happily together again. And to be honest I don't know what will exactly happen, but I know what I want in the long run. In the long run, I want to be with Tom. I guess that is what I have always wanted. But sometimes, most times, it isn't that easy. There are obstacles, and hurting, and complications. And I imagine that in these next few months there will be other complications, but I have this feeling, unlike one that I have ever had before, like a strange confidence that is telling me that something about this is right. Something about this is worth working for and if I were to let it go, I would regret it for the rest of my life. I don't know if any of you have ever been in the same situation. If you were, or are, I would love to hear about it. Honestly, it would reassure me that there are other people out there that have felt this, and that I really am doing something great here. I am trying not to be to personal here, I don't really know who reads this, but again I have always been an open book, so again I apologize if that makes any of you uncomfortable.

I need to believe that there are things out there that are worth going through struggles for. If there aren't, then what's the point, you know? I am a strong believer in love, I always have been. For those of you that knew me in high school, you know I was always the biggest hopeless romantic. And to be honest, I guess I still am a little bit. I like to believe that everyone has a good side and that everyone deserves love. Can you imagine your life without any love? Not even just romantic love, but any kind.That may sound generic, but I don't know, it's just something to think about I guess. To be honest, I am not sure if I am making sense anymore, I am kinda just letting my mind go with my fingers here, no filter, just feelings.

I guess I will end by saying that I realize that writing this may make me a little vulnerable, like everyone who wants to could know these personal things about me. But really, that is okay with me. Everyone has a story, so why not tell mine? I don't know, maybe it could help someone else who may be going through something similar. If you are, the only advice I can give is...stay strong. By that I mean, don't let anyone else influence your decisions. Do what you think will be best for you in the long run, and be wise enough to realize if it's right, and strong enough to let it go if it's wrong. I know I already put a quote in here by my second favorite quotes is semi-depressing but it's from my favorite movie

"So now, all alone or not, you gotta walk ahead. Thing to remember is if we're all alone, then we're all together in that, too." -P.S. I love you.

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