Amsterdam punishes Jenna

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We missed a crucial part of our journey through Amsterdam in our last blog- the Heineken Experience. We made it our policy to stop at every educational video, about brewing... dull. And then went on the world's worst 'ride': a British man with a lisp called 'Alexsch' insanely grinned at us whilst we stood on a moving platform that jolted us about a bit- such a let down after the danger warning signs. We then went to collect our free pints and were chatted up by some large, metal head Brazilians. They spat when talking and apologised a lot for it, and one of them said he was scared of the rainforest because fish fly up your dick- he said dick so many times we were openly laughing at him. Such strange men...

We were really looking forward to visiting the coffee shop Mellow Yellow after our ordeal, but as we were crossing the road Kat suddenly yelled "oh fuck" and ran the other direction.. the Brazilians were sat at Mellow Yellow, they clearly saw us yelling and runnning!

So after a misreable night camping in a tent without pegs and roll mats and being woken up by loudspeaker Germans, we went into town in a surprisingly good mood. We found another sex museum, which couldn't be missed at just 4€- our favourite was a model man who says "pssst hey..." and then flashes his red plastic willy, so unexpected! And of course the model of Marilyn Monroe's photographer who gets a steadily increasing boner as he takes pictures- some very impressive use of hydraulics...

We then foolishly signed ourselves up for the bar crawl. Too much Jeiger for Jenna, who was found by Kat hugging the toilet with her pants around her ankles, crying and vomitting. No one has ever been that sick, every breath rendered a wretch, to which some Americans beat boxed to. So degrading...

Our trip to Berlin on the 8 hour train was just horrible, such a hangover! But we're here now, staying in the plushest apartment thanks to Jenna's neighbours cousin, completely free! We'll keep you posted, over and out.

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Comments

[Rob jones]

!!!
That rounds hilarious!!! So Well writen!!! Cant wait to read te rest x x miss you