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Published: October 7th 2007
Italian Tourguide (for people on the cheap) by Pipaya:
Do not under any circumstance visit Florence over the weekend - you'll find yourself in the midst of hordes of tourists of every nationality, oozing money, while, frankly, you're not
Find as many panoramic view opportunities as you can - they're beautiful, getting to them uses up all the time and energy you would otherwise use to spend money (shopping, sitting at a cafe, eating a gelatto), and best of all, they're FREE
Learn to appreciate the aesthetic qualities of the OUTSIDE of buildings.... and convince yourself that these qualities far outweigh what they're charging to see the inside. This was a bit difficult in Florence - most of the palaces look like prisons on the outside.
Don't pay for walking tours... just casually linger around english-speaking tour guides until you find one of suitable quality and eavesdrop.... ideally, if there's two of you, scout out the various options and compare notes.
Don't eat at any restaurants.... always choose "take away" option. Case in point:
Small bottle of wine to go = 5 euro
Small bottle of wine to stay = 7 euro
Small bottle
of wine, PLUS the glass to drink it out of = 9.50 euro
Don't cross any roads in Rome... EVER. Find a way around it. If need be, attach yourself to a group of nuns ( there's plenty of them here). While Italian drivers have no qualms of running YOU over, they will always stop for the nuns.
When in Venice, buy a 0.95 euro box of wine, buy some sandwiches from the supermarket, find yourself a suitable place to cop a squat by the canal, while ignoring the glares of the passer-bys as you content yourself with the fact that you're enjoying the same views at a fraction of the cost
Key phrases to know in Italian to navigate your way around:
1) Prego! - we think it means "ok".... appropriate response to most any query thrown your way.
2) There is no #2..... Come to terms with the fact that Italians speak better English than you will ever know Italian.
End of Italian lesson
If you're looking for some fun and excitement to spice up your trip:
Plan your itinerary around Trenitalia - if you're in Italy long enough, Trenitalia will go on
strike at some point during your stay - the fun and excitement comes in unexpectedly having to reroute your planned itinerary. Also, track information continually changes, so you'll be sure to have to haul your luggage while running up and down stairs to an alternate track at least once while waiting for your train.
And, finally......
Free bonus with this guide... if you can't afford a visit to the Sistine Chapel, have no fear - For an accurate depiction of the Michelangelo's Creation of Adam, please refer to included reenactment by Pipaya.
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moo
non-member comment
love it!
i LOVE the pictures. but not as much as i love you! thank you again for the lovely birthday call from budapest - that was definitely the best birthday gift ever and it made my day!!! love you love you love you!!