Holidays and Such

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Well, I'm back in Graz after a nice week back at home. A pretty quiet week to be honest, I only managed to get out to see Chris for lunch, and absolutely no pubbage 😞 I'd say next time, but that probably won't be for another six months. Although Mum and Dad have booked us a holiday to Center Parcs in Easter, which I'm a bit miffed about to be honest. They've booked six beds so that Naomi can bring Ben and I can bring 'someone'. Thanks.

Anyway, now I'm back in the flat with just Hairy Housemate for company. He's behaving quite well - I got home to find him cleaning, and the excessive noise hasn't been, but he's hardly company. I try to avoid talking to him because his 'laugh' sounds exactly like a road drill. I've got no idea when the others are coming back, and I know I'm going to mildly worry that Antonio might be conscripted by the Serbs until he's back here where I can see him (it's very strange knowing someone who actually lives in one of these countries you always hear about on the news).

So for the meantime I'm here listening to Austrian radio in my pyjamas, eating dry bread because I forgot to buy butter yesterday. Thankfully I'm going out with Tanya and her cousins tonight to a party and then to watch the fireworks, so at least this evening life should be looking up. Until then I've got an afternoon of thinking about all of the things that you think about on the last day of the year.

It's been an eventful year. With Uncle Stephen's death, it's going to be impossible for me to look back on it as a good one. The more that we've gone through the long task of sorting out all of his possessions, the more I've realised just how little I knew about a man that I loved a great deal. I wish I'd known when he was alive just how like him I am. I'd always wondered where my traveller's spirit came from, as it clearly wasn't from my immediate family. But learning about his adventures, his mad friends and his slightly obsessive collecting of everything from mugs to coins, I see a great deal of myself. I will never forget the last time I saw him. It was the Easter holidays and he'd stopped by on his way home from work. I remember making us both a cup of tea, feeling very grown up, and talking about my upcoming trip to Sweden and his own travels in Scandanavia. We had so much that we could talk about, and I know that the older I get the more that would have been the case.

It's ironic that this year should feel like such a bad one, with all of the amazing things that have happened to me. I have had the trip of a lifetime in San Francisco, with so many incredible people together that I love as much as my own family, in a beautiful and awesome city. I have spent some of the happiest days of my life in the heart of Sweden, wishing more than once that I could just stop time and live that moment forever. I have come to live in a beautiful and cultural city, with a great job and new friends and challenges every day.

Next year lies ahead of me now as a big muddle. I don't know what I want to do with my life. The future that I had planned probably can't happen now, which breaks my heart a little. My biggest challenge is to somehow turn this mess of confusion into something positive. So much is possible. I can do almost anything I want. I just have to figure out what I want.

In the meantime I'm just going to keep learning German, keep studying, keep reading, keep writing, keep taking every opportunity that comes my way, keep living life to the full. I'm going skiing soon, and if I play my cards right I could be going to Turkey or Lithuania or even both in the course of the next few months. I'm incredibly lucky. Life should be good.

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