Every day in my bathroom is a grand exploratory adventure as I slowly discover the ways of the society of kumbi (ants) skittering across the celery green walls. I initially became aware of the existence of the kumbi at what has since become known as the Sink-Window Pass, the most visible and most vulnerable construction of the colony. Stretching from the elevated window above the toilet to the right-hand lip of the pedestal sink, this path happened to be my first point of attack during my early efforts to disperse the colony, efforts that would prove to be completely and totally [View Full Entry]

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My six legged spider friend is gone. He used to live above the corner in my bathroom where I shower. I thought we bonded this past month, but he just up and left. I can’t find him anywhere. I actually have a sneaking suspicion he might have been on the floor when I turned on the shower one day. Poor six legged spider friend. [View Full Entry]

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I went to the Royal Garden Mall with my amma today after classes to buy groceries and batteries, where purchased buns for the dreaded hot dog. Devotees of the journal will know the delight I experienced in tasting this particular Sri Lankan culinary delicacy. Today, hoping to persuade my amma at a later date to put tomatoes, chicken, and - in a perfect world - cheese in a hot dog bun, I told my amma to buy the bread but that I preferred different ingredients. I am not sure whether or not she understood my request. Previously a hot dog consisted [View Full Entry]

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It might put you in the mind of my desperation for a sandwich to consider what I just ate for dinner. It was called a hot dog - and although I suppose the sandwich included some form of processed meat product, the flavor was more or less masked by the other ingredients: hardboiled egg, raw red onion, tomato, and butter. Ewww. I cannot honestly say that I am not a fan of jackfruit. In fact, I can fairly conclusively say that I abhor jackfruit in all of its forms. They have three such recognized forms in Sri Lanka, two of which [View Full Entry]

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I have discovered - and I kid you not - the funniest thing on the face of this earth. Allow me to elaborate. My family has long been determined to test my vocal prowess. Shortly after I arrived in Sri Lanka a month ago, it was requested I sing an American song. I refused, citing embarrassment and an utter lack of ability. Until yesterday, I managed to maintain the tenuous grasp on my dignity resulting from the illusion that I might be able to string two or three notes together if pressed. It was yesterday, however, they finally succeeded in making [View Full Entry]

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I have to say, far and away, that the thing that disturbs me most about Sri Lanka is the people that try to touch me. It started innocently enough. My amma would take my arm and pet it much like you would a dog as she was introducing me to the neighbors. And that was fine. But then the other day I was talking on the phone before class and one of the women who works in the house walked by and patted me on the stomach on her way out of the compound, as if I were pregnant. And that [View Full Entry]

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I have had to make an unfortunate pact with the spiders residing in my bathroom. I uphold my end of the bargain sitting idly by and watching as the arachnids encroach upon my space while, for their part, they eat all of the mosquitoes and ants unlucky enough to wander into one of their ever-growing webs. As spiders fall into the Jayme creature category of things with two many legs (accompanied by centipedes, squids, octopi, millipedes, crabs, and lobsters), I am not particularly fond of the situation, yet the dozen new bites I acquire every day have compelled me to let [View Full Entry]

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Statue of Liberty on the Open Market: The Ownership of Cultural Property We were discussing the ability of an oversized monkey to abduct a toddler when the Englishman approached us alongside the Tivanka image house in ancient Polonnaruva. Tugging the hem of his collared bowling shirt over the taut waistband of his cargo safari shorts, he pointed to the tops of the trees with a crooked arm. “What do you reckon, bear monkeys?” Born and raised in the eastern Midwest, I knew nothing more about monkeys than your average zoo-going American, but that their opposable thumbs and toes [View Full Entry]

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The worst thing about Sri Lankan mealtimes - apart from the occasional encounter with durian and other similarly inedible dishes - has to be the customary use of digital utensils, by which I mean the spoon that is the right hand. While normally I am completely in favor of seizing food and stuffing it haphazardly into my mouth with my palms, when curry and rice are involved, the matter is entirely different. It is impossible to look graceful when eating rice and curry, not to mention the fact that it takes twice as long. Beyond aesthetics, of late I have [View Full Entry]

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I went into Kandy on my own for the first time the other day, accompanied by my classmates Carolina and Katie. It was an exciting trip for me, if for no other reason than it gave me an excuse to practice speaking Siŋhala with the three-wheeler drivers. “Mee three-wheeler eke yannewade?” “You want three-wheeler?” “ŋ… ŋ… ou. Three-wheeler eke yannewade?” “What?” Much to my dismay, I have found that Sri Lankan Siŋhala speakers simply cannot understand my accent. In the end we usually fall into a Siŋglish d [View Full Entry]

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