One thing they don’t like to give you whilst in North Korea is free-time. Free-time breeds curiosity and in North Korea curiosity can land you in a lot of trouble. After scoffing down a breakfast consisting of New Zealand Anchor butter and my first toast in a year, we were immediately on our way. Our guide Ms. Lee (one of four family names that make up 95% of the North Korean population), who had yet to crack a smile and Mr. Jang our guard, who seemed far more laid back, stuck to us like a wasp on jam. As there were only my wife and I in our tour ‘group’, we would be joining up with a larger Chinese group. No matter what your nationality is, all tour itineraries include the same attractions. The only difference ... read more

With my time in China quickly running out, there has still been plenty of opportunities to enjoy festivities in Benxi. In recent days, Mid-Autumn Festival (also known as the Moon Festival) was celebrated, a festival commemorating the autumn harvest, when the moon is at its fullest. There are many traditions related to this festival, the most important of which seems to be the ability to eat as many moon cakes as humanely possible. These cakes, the Mid-Autumn Festival equivalent of mince pies at Christmas are small pastry cakes filled with a variety of sweet and savoury fillings. Moon cakes are a delightful little creation guaranteed to expand your waistline at incredible haste. During an English class I noticed one girl playing around with a couple of these moon cakes under her desk. As she continued to ... read more

With the new school year in full swing, it has been time for some of my older students to fly their strictly controlled parents’ nest and venture on to the freedom of far-flung university destinations. Being their resident English teacher, such an occasion has two benefits. Firstly I have a reduction in my teaching schedule. Having a manager driven by greed, I’m sure this will only be temporary. Secondly, it also means plenty of invitations to banquet style feasts to celebrate the students’ successes. It’s always an honour to be invited out with a students family, where the industrial size ’Lazy Susan’ is over-flowing with a multitude of dishes. Like a duck being prepared for foie gras the family force feed me until I’m ready to explode. If there are male members of the family present ... read more

Since coming to China, health issues have been a steady source of concern. From coughing up grotesque amounts of phlegm on a daily basis, to showing my penis to half of Benxi’s qualified doctors during a hypochondriac moment, I don‘t think I have ever suffered so many complaints. I think the majority of these issues can be blamed on the huge plumes of smoke belched out by resident factories. The last thing I really needed though was for ‘China Fatigue’ to rear its ugly head. Although not a proven medical condition, I’ve heard this phrase mentioned on several occasions by other English teachers. With personal space non-existent, and at times receiving looks even Joseph Merrick would feel uncomfortable with, it’s easy to see why living in China can sometimes become too much. High levels of never-ending ... read more

Summer should be a time of excessive tanning and evening drinking. For my wife and I, it’s been nothing but six day, sixty hour working weeks brought about by extra summer classes and my employer’s strange obsession with sacking every new teacher that arrives. Since arriving in China I’ve had the pleasure of welcoming three new teachers through the gates of Benxi, all of which have been sacked within a month. First impressions seemingly count for a lot here. Thrown in at the deep end with classes full of scrutinizing parents and expectant children, the sink or swim philosophy has yet to reap any survivors. It’s not only your teaching style that’s rigorously examined. Your appearance and personality is also critiqued. This was the downfall of the first teacher to get sacked: an experienced, black, dreadlocked ... read more