Laos & Vietnam

Asia
November 16th 2014

Published: November 16th 2014

We arrived at the Laos border around 5pm and were taken to a hostel for the night. The rooms were pretty basic, only a couple rat droppings on the bed.
After getting rid of our bags we set out to find the only restaurant in the town according to trip advisor, a Mexican. It took around half an hour walking up and down the same road before we spotted a tiny little bakery/Mexican and the food was really good!
We left around 8am the next day and got dropped at the border where we were told to get our visas.
Now it was time to board the slow boat...
Around 50 people boarded the boat and as the sun shone the whole way there it was a really good relaxing day chilling and drinking beer. We got to the first small town in Laos and were told the whole place was fully booked and no guest houses were available so as we got off the boat we were bombarded with guesthouse owners selling us rooms for the night. We took the first room available hopped on the back of a pick up and made our way there. When we arrived the

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prices were a bit different from the prices at the pier but as we were tired and hungry we paid up and checked in.
After checking in we heard some commotion outside the room so went to see what was going on, there was a giant snake attempting to eat a rat whilst the owner stabbed it with a blunt stick... Our first impressions of Laos were not great at this point.
The next morning after witnessing a huge spider running around the guesthouse restaurant were ready to leave. During breakfast we were told the boat would leave at 9:30 and we had plenty of time to make our way back to the pier however, one of the women from the day before came running to tell us it leaves at 8:30 and it was now 8:45 so we better hurry up!
Got down to the boat to find around 150-200 people being squeezed onto one boat which was now so far in the water we were inches away from sinking, there were people even sitting in the engine room and for a small amount of time we were forced to stand for which could have been a 7 hour

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trip.
After a long time protesting, shouting and refusing to board the boat the locals agreed to take an extra boat for a small fee which we took full advantage of.
I had previously read online about how they try to drop you off around 10km outside the city and force you to take tuk tuks into town so we were prepared when this happened but when the boat captain decided he had forgotten all English we had no choice but to get off. We waited around for the second boat as we knew our friends were on it and the four of us took the long walk into town, none of us were willing to pay the ridiculous fee of the tuk tuk.

We arrived in Luang Prabang checked into the guesthouse and ventured out for some dinner. After the exhausting day neither of us had the energy to finish our meal so we decided sleep was the only way to go.
We only spent 2 nights in Luang Prabang so didn't get to do any activities which was a shame as it seemed as though there could have been some fun things to do.

Vang Vieng...

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We got the bus down to Vang Vieng again with the couple we have befriended, if I remember correctly it should have taken 6 hours but ended up around 9 and a half. By the time we arrived it was dark and we were again starving. Once more we were dropped off well outside the centre and had a stupid tuk tuk fee to get into the town, as our mates were going the opposite way we said our goodbyes and set off. We arrived at our guesthouse which turned out to be a pretty swanky hotel! After a quick shower and freshen up we headed out where we found our mates (we've been traveling for around a month with this couple and it's a bit too late now to ask their names as they know ours it would be really embarrassing) anyway we found them on the side of the street turned out there guesthouse didn't exist and they had been looking for it since leaving us about an hour and half previously. Oh I forgot to say jack left my trainers on the bus!!
We found an Irish bar got a few drinks, moved onto the next bar

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which was way to out of hand and made our way back for the night.

Tubing...
As most people know this was once the main reason people visited Laos but as so many people were dying while tubing they had to shut a lot of it down but it didn't stop us having a go!
We made our way to the first bar of the day around 12, we had to be back with the tube (rubber ring) by 6 to get our full deposit back and with only 3 bars we knew we had plenty of time.
Turned out the first bar was pretty hard to leave due to the free shots, beer pong and other drunk people partying! Jack even went back on some guys bike to get more money so we could really have a messy day!
We left the first bar and it all went downhill from there... Jack had put all the money and his phone into our spanking new waterproof bag which turned out to be as waterproof as a sponge. Rocked up at the second bar where we were pulled in by a rope by the locals on the side of the

Slow boat to Laos

river, here they had what looked like mud bath volleyball, unfortunately as dry rice was now our main priority we jumped back on the tube and headed further down the river until we came across a restaurant. The current was so strong it was nearly impossible to float right to the steps so after a few attempts it was more logical to get out and drag your tube behind you.
They gave us a bag of dry rice for jacks phone, we bought a couple beers to say thanks and we were back on the river heading for the last bar.
This one was extremely tricky as by this point we had a few beers and it was directly opposite the restaurant, so with the strong current a dizzy head and a bag of rice it was going to be a miracle if we made it.
We decided the only way to get there was to walk back up along the river and push off as far as we could to the other side. I overshot the entrance slightly but with the encouragement from the small boat that was passing I managed to jump off close enough.
I think this

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is where it all went wrong for jack as the free shots certainly weren't coming anywhere near me he drank more than his share. As the bar got more and more busy I knew it would be nearly time to leave so once I had dragged jack away from a game of basketball we set out for the finish line with a few others we had picked up along the way.
It was around 5 by the time we left the bar so we had around an hour to get back which seemed enough... Half an hour past the sun had gone down... Another half hour past it was now pitch black... Another half an hour past by this point it was cold and none of us knew if we had floated to far or how much further we had left but we all knew it was so rocky and the current was getting stronger!
Finally after nearly 2 hours floating we saw some lights on the side of the river and decided to get out and try and get a cab back. Somehow I floated too far, couldn't stop and had no choice but to carry on. There was

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now only me and jack floating in the complete darkness, he was more or less wasted carrying a bag of rice without a care in the world and I was starting to get a little worried.
It came to the point where I had completely had enough of floating aimlessly to our death that I decided I was going to get out and walk. As jack had left his shoes at the last bar it wasn't as easy for him to make his way through the rocky water and every now and then id hear a bang turn around and there he'd be laying on top of his ring looking up like what happened? I think I fell? I'm glad he was drunk as it made the whole experience more amusing and I wanted to kill someone a lot less.
We climbed up the side of the river bank and found a man waiting at the top waiting to tell us... You've made it to the last bar!
This is when I really did want to cry. Luckily we could walk from here back to the finish and didn't have to float any further down the death river! I think

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it was around 7:30 by this point but jack still wanted to run all the way back I'm not sure if he thought maybe he could still make it before 6 but I left him to it.

Our next stop was the capital Vientiane we got jacks phone fixed and other than that there was pretty much nothing else to do here so we set off on the 24hour bus ride to Vietnam.

I can honestly say this bus journey was one of the worst things I have ever experienced.

So we set of for the bus station around 6 with our sandwiches wrapped up ready for the journey. We arrived at the bus and were told we couldn't bring any food on the bus and would have to eat it before getting on which was really frustrating as all the locals had bags of goodies which they were happily carrying on the bus! I got on to get a seat as jack needed a quick toilet stop before we set off. The driver ushered me to the back of the bus, as it was a sleeper bus there were beds on the bottom and reclining seats

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on the top. All the foreigners (us) were made to sit at the back and at the top so the locals could get all the best beds at the front of the bus. I got to the back where I was told to hop in next to this women, I told the driver sorry mate I'm with someone I'm not getting into her bed to which he replied no sorry get in here. So again I told him no but by this point he had also forgotten all English and continued pointing and shaking his head. I waited for jack to get on to see where he would be told to sit and sat with him.
The driver then handed out blankets to all the locals and collected all of their passports. It took me around an hour to realise the seats we had would not recline as they had put boxes behind our chairs so the only way to sleep was upright. It was so cold and so uncomfortable I think I slept for around a hour before we were woken up at 6am and chucked off the bus to go to the border. There were 5 foreigners on

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the bus, me, jack, a Hungarian women and two Korean blokes. The 5 of us made our way though the rain to the border where our driver was with all the locals passports so none of them had to get off in the cold and rain. I was getting more and more cross as the day went on. We were then told after paying stupid amounts for our visa that we had to pay extra because it was the weekend... It was Monday!
We got back onto the bus which was like a freezer and we were soaked! As we hadn't eaten since getting on the bus the day before when we stopped around 2pm I could have eaten a small dog. To our surprise it was only a food stop for the locals and none of the foreigners could get anything to eat.
Jack had wandered off to find a shop or some source of food when I realised the bus had gone. I wandered around to try and find jack and found him in what looked like a large garage full of Vietnamese gangsters, one of the men called me over and reluctantly I made my way to

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where jack was sitting surrounded by men.
They had been sitting down to eat when jack wandered in asking for an ATM, after explaining we had no money and hadn't eaten for nearly 24hrs the men insisted on us sitting down to join them. At first they offered us their leftovers but the amount of times I politely declined it probably seemed rather rude.
So they clicked their fingers and a small woman came trotting over with two plates full of food for me and jack. I tried to explain again that we had no money but was told EAT WOMAN!! Around 45 minutes past with them talking at us in Vietnamese and one man attempting to translate, I have never been more scared in my life I truly believed we were going to be trapped and kidnapped. I tried to get away a few times but they wouldn't allow me and jack to "check for the bus" at the same time and kept telling us it wouldn't be back for at least an hour. They then bought out a bottle of vodka and pushed jack into shoting the whole bottle with them. One of the men got up to

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leave the table and his friends began to tell us how he was rich because he was the big drug boss and he had been kicked out of England by police because of drugs but here in Vietnam he was the big boss. The big boss then returned to the table, got his wallet out and started to hand cash to me and jack. At first I refused to take it as I was sure there must have been some sort of catch but once the whole table got up, shook our hands, wished us a safe journey and walked off I was pretty annoyed I hadn't eaten more and accepted the fact Vietnamese people are the friendliest people I've ever come across.

If your still reading this I'm getting to the end soon, I know it's a long one!

We finally arrived in Hanoi around 8pm and were absolutely starving!!
Hanoi is like no other city I've ever been to, people drive on pavements and wonder why your in their way they don't seem to care what side of the road they're on and the noise is unreal!
After one night in Hanoi we booked a 3

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day trip to ha long bay. Jack had been looking forward to the trip from the moment we took off at Heathrow so it was a real shame it rained the whole time.
We got onto our boat at the pier about 12pm where we were served up our first meal, a seafood buffet. The food was really good but as jack refuses to eat anything from the sea he stuck to some steamed rice. We sailed around ha long bay for around an hour before stopping at an amazing cave! The views of ha long bay from the cave were incredible and even the rain couldn't ruin it for us! We got jack unto the boat and sailed a little further to a cluster of limestone islands where we jumped into kayaks and set off for an hour to explore.
We passed through a small tunnel and opened out into a lagoon type area full of monkeys and rocks and more beautiful scenery.
We got back onto our boat had dinner and spent the night on the top deck with a beer and fantastic views of ha long bay!
On the second day the rain was awful! Jack went

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for a morning swim on the beach and we made our way to cat ba island. We were meant to be hiking through the national park but as the weather was so bad we went to a hospital cave instead.
It was a cave up in the mountains that they had converted into a hospital back during the Vietnam war it had something like 17 rooms, a swimming pool, a cinema and an area for the soldiers to exercise.
After the tour of the hospital we made our way to the hotel to check in and then took a boat ride to monkey Island!
Anyone that follows jack on Instagram will see how he was attacked by a monkey... They were so vicious! One chased me screaming down the beach I thought I was going to be mauled!!
After dinner that night we ventured out to the only bar open on the island, 30p a beer it was a good night!!
The next day we made our way back to Hanoi for one more night spent sitting in roof top bars taking in the city views before heading down to hue on yet again another sleeper bus. This one wasn't

Sleeper Laos - Hanoi

as bad as the journey only took around 12 hours. We were pushed to the back once again where I was sandwiched between jack and a guy who decided to get naked and slip into his silk sleeping bag and half way through the night I'm sure he tried to spoon me. It was pretty frightening.

We stayed in Hue for two nights but spent most of the time watching films as we couldn't find anything interesting to do there!

After the 2 nights we took the 3 hour bus journey to Hoi An when we arrived jack flat footed a rat the size of a kitten, it was hilarious watching him hop around like a ballerina while the rat squealed. I think we have both agreed that Hoi An could be one of our favourite places so far, the old town which is set along the river with no cars allowed was wicked! All of the buildings are pretty similar as you will see from the photos it was like being sent back in time with the little markets and shops we absolutely loved it! The only bad thing is that it rained again for the entire